Hi there Kittie,

Welcome to the forum.  Good for you in making the decision to quit smoking.  During my quit I often felt like I was going through the stages of grief.   Of course, it was a milder version of the grief then how someone feels having lost a family member or friend but nevertheless it was a form of grief.  Not odd at all that you feel this way.  Just know that it will get better.

Please stay with us and post and read and  get educated on nicotine addiction.  If you can start at the beginning of this thread and read all the articles along the way.

Why Do I Dread Quitting So Much?

Nicotine Withdrawal and Junkie Thinking 

Understanding the emotional stages of loss when quitting smoking

Hi June quitters,

I'm embarrassed to state that this is maybe the fifth group I join, but well. This is a terrible addiction. Let's go again. 

Ovdz, I'm glad you came around too. 

I'm right behind you. 

TinyBadger, I know what you mean about having a smoker in the house. My husband doesn't even tell me off anymore when I relapse. What can we do, we're locked inside the same tiny house for the fourth month and counting. I just keep trying, keeping failing, keep getting back up. 

Be strong, all of you, all of us :) 

Ana

I have Just registered today and I am on day 3!  Tough one today.  I can't believe  I am having to go through this again.  I'm ashamed to say a couple of years ago, I started smoking again after 3 years of  abstinence.  Support on here will be invaluable.  

Hi Dotti, 

Welcome to the forum! I'm on day three as well after having lost a quit of 50 days that must have been my thousandth. 

Don't be ashamed, we're all fighting for freedom here. 

I get that it's hard to believe we're at it again but at least you've made a decision and are better than being smoking. 

So congratulations on your decision! Don't doubt it, you've made the right decision! 

Ana

Hi Tiny Badger, 

Post as much as you need to. That's what the forum is for. I have the opposite problem - I'm not always here and sometimes miss important messages, but we are all as available as we can. 

I love the message from DbAnne wishing us a speedy recovery - isn't it an amazing message? We can recover from this addiction. 

Ana

Welcome! I felt a sense of grief. Cigarettes were my best friend. They were always there for me, for the celebrations and the losses, the smiles and the tears. I always had them at my side. Please know that you are not alone. Post any time about anything. We're here for you.

Welcome to the forum! It sounds like kalyared and I are both with you--im on day three as well. It's been a rough one. I started smoking after 7 years smober. Then I quit again for 135 days and relapsed. It just goes to show what everyone here says, don't get too confident and treat your quit like a baby. You just pick yourself up and keep trying. We're here for you, post anytime.

I would say that if anyone were annoyed by how or where you post it is a lick on them. We all process in different ways! The beauty of this place is the individual, independent, yet collective journey we are all on. Do whatever works for you. 
There is something to be learned from each and every post. Sometimes the learning is for all, sometimes it is just for the one posting in the way they are allowed to process it out. 
Please keep posting. It will help you. 
Someone was looking for a quote to share with a group they were going to attend...was that you?

Hi Ana,

Keep on getting back up.

I don’t think stumbling makes you a masochist, unless we are all just naturally that by being human...

There are some blessed to have a perfect journey in that they go a long time without one, perhaps years, but even they struggle on the journey and come back here to acknowledge they are still addicts. They all usually tell about hitting a point of feeling release and freedom, but I think the key lies in acceptance of being an addict and finding a way to live with that. Kind of like when we started to smoke we let this part move in to our minds and at the time we didn’t realize it was moving in permanently. But when we decide to stop smoking we want it to move out. And it can’t. So maybe we just have to find a way to live with it...?

Just an angle I’m pondering.  Sure wish I could charge it rent! Haha.