Hey Lore....

scrolled thru general chitchat many times looking for this note!!

Yes I got to the dentist before it broke off.  She didn’t see it.  Have a cleaning Monday so maybe she can look at it.  Then again they may be in shut down again.

Texas has mandated state wide wearing of masks indoor and outdoor if you can’t b 6 ft apart as of today.  Called off a bunch of stuff again.  I lose track. You are my hero.

What kind of bike did you have before?  Love that you have your leathers.  My ex left his chaps rolled up here.  Really nice.  You are so right about what may originally attract can end up ugly.  Especially if it wasn’t true to begin with!!!,

If traffic is bad I wouldn’t want you on a bike....like you say we want to do nothing that increases stress!!  A bike could be a stress reducer when you just have the wind in your face.  Nice.  Now rain on the other hand.....ROCKS; so forget that.  I have not had my own bike.  The Mule suffices for my off road escapes.

1928....wow.....what memories must be in that house!!!  Tent sleeping?  Can’t blame you.  I think I would go for a single room air conditioner!!  Of course, that is a staple here.  You lived in San Antonio, you prob know that.  Some medical personnel were staying in tents at their homes to stay separated from their families at the beginning of Covid.

So far so good on black widow bites.  I can’t believe you knew where that one was on the Rez and just stayed away.  Afraid his family would come get you if you squished him?  A lot of spiders here....and trees, yes. No way I could clean up all the downed trees from storms past!,  I have had several scorpion bites.  Last one I had an allergic reaction...mouth/tongue swelled up.  Weird cos that had not happened before.  I must goggle those spider eyes.....

Were you in San Antonio for training?  A lot of bases there.  Love that town and the love of my life lives there.  Traffic has gotten insane there.  It is a little hotter there though.....no thank you, is plenty hot here and at least we get occasional snows.....which I LOVE.  Yes mam fire ants not fun.  Would love to raise bees but that’s one more thing if you get my meaning.  We need more bee keepers so bad.  Our populations have gone down drastically.  Also these deformed looking African or Mexican bees have come up and messed with the populations, killed them etc.

I am really in the mood for that Kombucha fizz !!!!  Will have to get over it because I am not going anywhere!!,  Going to go finish coffee and pretend it’s Kombucha.

Be well on this smoke free day!!!,

Peggy

5-8-20

Oh Peggy!!!

Man, this place is a godsend. Yesterday lovely Ana in Portugal jumps in and saves my falling Spirit; lifts it right from the edge I was standing on, holds me in her gentle hands and gives that little nudge to help me soar off again and manage to get set some things done around here. I wasn’t about to smoke, but I was about to crawl into the deepest darkest hole and scream for a bit. Now...today...here you are! It is as if the fates are watching, and oh yes, they are wise. They’ve seen me stumble before, and this, for this smoking business anyway, they are on my side and guiding this path this time. Now for other things, yes, I still struggle against them....It’s all for naught of course as their deft fingers have long ago written their plans.
Do I really believe this? Maybe. At times. Mostly I believe there is a reason to this journey of life we are all on and that mostly none of us know the true depth and meaning of what it is. What we do know, or should know, is that we are meant to walk softly and listen to the little things along the way and keep our eyes open for opportunities to ease each other’s and that of all creatures way. Hence...here you are! You are one who listens to the the wind. And what a blessing to my morning, so thank you. 

I also believe the majority of the meaning is that it is a gift. Nothing more, nothing less. It is to be embraced and cherished and lived exuberantly and fully and most importantly...kindly and lovingly to ourselves and others...and yes, again, all creatures. Including spiders! This likely leads folks to ask, as I’ve asked myself many times, why did I waste so much of it smoking!? Well, there are many answers to that, yes? Mostly because I wasn’t listening perhaps... I mean, I do recall my body telling me that with the first willful drag...I coughed and sputtered and it hurt. So...here I am, and all the rest of us are who’ve finally taken notice and are now trying to rewrite the hardwire in our brains. Hmmm. How the heck did I get here writing this natter? Oh...haven’t finished my coffee yet! Lol.

I had a 1986 Suzuki Intruder. Man. It.Was.Hot. Of course what I really wanted was a Sportster but I didn’t have money for that. There aren’t a lot of bikes that fit me. I’m 5’1 if I stretch and weigh about 126 now. Then I was 122, so needed a bike that I felt I could handle. Now...I’d likely find a Triumph to fit me if I were to get another. This is probably not gonna happen these days unless I move somewhere less crowded...like perhaps, say, Ireland or New Zealand. But that’s another conversation for another time! It is most definitely on the to do list though...some day. Maybe Spain? I have friends that moved to Spain a few years ago. They keep telling me I should come there. I have a friend in Mozambique too who thinks I should come there. Still though, Ireland has been my dream for a very long time. The PNW weather is most on par with that part of the world too so I think I could handle it. New Zealand is a very close runner up. 
Scorpion bites! Yowza! I’ve heard those hurt quite badly. Do they? You should have an Epi Pen my dear. If that reaction happened once, it could be worse next time and I am assuming if you’ve been bitten a few times they are a common creature where you are. Anyway. Please get one if you don’t already have it. 
Yes...I was in San Antonio for training so can’t say I got to see a lot of it. Some though. And I did have experiences with Fire Ants which were not pleasant at all. Had those in Georgia too. Wow...the more I think about all of this, apart from the racism, Portland is actually a pretty benign place! Even that is a lower level here than lots of other places, but, again, another conversation and one that always makes me want to smoke.

I think about this house and the stories it could tell. We are, surprisingly, only the 3rd owners. Seems it is a space that folks set down roots. Which is maybe good? Pat likes that idea and never intends to leave. He is willing to hold the fort whilst I adventure around though. This is a guy who has had a plot in one of Portland’s Pioneer Cemeteries since before I knew him. So, yeah...we’ve gone and sat on his future resting place many times. It is where I first smoked in front of him actually. All he said was “hope you’re not always gonna put cigarettes out on my grave “. Ha! He does have a wonderful sense of humor. Not sure why he is so convinced that he will go before me, but he is. 
I got the tent out, but haven’t slept in it yet. Has been cooling off so much at night here. Still...I’m about to add the current weather to the list of this year’s odd happenings! Should have been much hotter by now...

Kombucha fizz is so special! I just love it’s soft feel. So, pop, or soda depending where you live, that you get from the store has been CO2 infused and the bubbles are much bigger and are uniform. Kombucha bubbles are a by-product of the process of the living organisms doing their lovely fermentation thing. Hmmm. Just had a thought. The base is always Tea. Black tea has to be a part of it, though you can mix with green tea. I wonder if Kombucha is considered blasphemous among our serious tea drinking friends? Fermented tea. Hopefully they don’t think it is. Kombucha has been around a very long time, so likely not. 
Im also making Jun (rhymes with fun) Kombucha which is strictly Green Tea and you have to use raw honey. Now...this is considered the Champagne of Kombucha because the bubbles are very much like that. Anyway...it thrills me that you think about and like Kombucha fizz!!! Ahhh...the small things in life. I didn’t start drinking it till I quit smoking so it isn’t a trigger for me like my coffee can occasionally be. Not much anymore, but once in a while. 
Just realized this is a novella, so will finish my coffee and let you get about your day. I think maybe you are an hour or two ahead of me? Hopefully you have clear skies tonight. That Moon is a beauty! Nearly full. I love that I can go out at night and think of friends and loved ones far away and know if they look up they will see the same familiar and grounding light. It is my habit to blow a kiss on the directions and at the Moon nightly, off to those I love. Well, now you and whoever has read this knows a secret...don’t think I’ve ever told anyone that before. My daughter has seen me do it, so she knows. Don’t think Pat does though. I  have always kept it my private thing when we have been off camping. I should tell him. 
Yes...google the spider eyes and check back in!

Thanks for making the start of my day so very bright! You are almost two whole months!! Woohoo! 

Anybody else finding a bit of irony and sadness in this 4th?

As I sit on my back deck listening to the flares and booming and pops and bangs... The smell of black powder wafting on the slight breeze, I am asking myself if this is enough to celebrate this year; freedom from smoking?

Yes, for me it is enough...and a lot. 

Happy Freedom From Smoking Day All! Even if all else seems up for dispute, we do have that to hang onto and celebrate.

I had another blah day! Wish I was awake to read your post, because It definitely would have changed my attitude!

The world was setting off fireworks for me! I have quit smoking! That was so nice of them! Lol. 
 

Somewhere I read on here to wear a piece of jewelry to remind yourself that you have quit smoking. Well I chose a costume ring. I liked it. Well I broke it, it was cheap. On Friday we went to the farmers market and I found another ring!  Very durable too! I love it! Since we were on shut down on my birthday and no present, he bought me that and a really big coffee mug.....has Marvin the Martian on it! 
 

So just writing this Lor has brightened my mood! Thank you and hugs. Remember life is a roller coaster, sometimes we are stuck at the top waiting for it to drop, and other times just enjoyable! Smooth and crisp! 
 

Hugs Eve

Eve...Lore,

Love the jewelry idea!!  Have not heard that one!  Glad you got to pick out something new!!  I don’t wear jewelry really.  Love buying it and looking at it and have this great standing mirror jewelry box....Guess I am too lazy to put it on.  Truth is I don’t go anywhere enough.  I end up wearing the same pearl studs all the time.  If I change them out it is silver hoops.  Maybe a tattoo? Rather a rock monument in the woods for me probably....You go girl on the ring!!  

Yea, Lore this did feel a bit strange this 4th.  Our beautiful country experiencing some hard times is sad. What a fabulous thought that WE....our quits....are being celebrated with each spattering of lights in the sky!!  Kind of makes me cry!

Don’t mind me ladies, just having a weird day. It was sooooooo loud here this year.  My neighbor that had the party I usually am at, said it was way louder than usual.  I found it unsettling INside and didn’t even want to go outside. ( We can see several firework displays from our vantage points). Then I had a dream that my mom bought this house for us in this noisy neighborhood and I was so upset there was so much traffic sound.  I felt trapped.

It is so still and humid.  I froze bleach bottles I filled with water that are in the deep freeze.  This is going to be an attempt to cool down the pool water.  RED NECK ICE CUBES.  Will let you know how it goes....

Thanks for being here my girls,

Peggy

5-8-20

Ladies!

Yay Us!!! 
Yeah, the 4th was a drag for me this year so I tried to turn it into something meaningful for myself, and it worked a bit. Whatever floats our boats and keeps our eyes on the prize is valid, yes?

So the jewelry thing is helpful for me too. I have a few rings, trade them out. They are good figits. I’m glad you got a new one Eve! And I loved Marvin! Haven’t seen him in years. “I wish I was an Alien, at home behind the sun...”  That is only loosely related...is from one my FAVORITE songs by Pearl Jam called “Wishlist”. Man...I love Vedder’s guitar and Ament’s steady bass in that song. Just has a great and grounding rhythm and the lyrics are just beautiful. I can turn that on and completely forget about smoking.... and lots of other stuff too. Just wish it went on for a few hours.  Give it a go...it might help the blah day!! Grunge has a special place in my heart since living in Seattle in the late 80s through 90s. 

Peggy, I have to say...I love the “redneck ice cubes”! That is very clever and so funny. I wouldn’t have thought about it. Wouldn’t have thought either about the pool maybe getting too warm, but it makes sense! I also found the noise way louder last night. Must be because all public displays were cancelled. Some folks around here must have spent a fortune on fireworks! Had all the huge stuff going on that I for sure would have been scared to light. My poor critters too.  . Now we are on to mid summer heat and that beautiful Buck Moon tonight! Woo hoo! Hope you are gonna go out and soak it up and renew from the funky day. Read about the headaches...bummer. I take Feverfew for them and it works good. 
Just got home from work and have work to finish then I am going on a huge and rejuvenating walk. My soul is aching and needs some time to wander. 
One of you mentioned tattoos...well, I am going for a meet up tomorrow with my Tat Artist that I haven’t seen in over a year. We are gonna sit in the park at a respectable 6 feet, drink some lovely Kombucha and talk about an idea I have. I’m pretty excited about it. Back a few months ago some of us were talking about what we were going to do with our “saved” cigarette money and I am going to have her add something on for me and use that unspent money for it. Yay! I haven’t had any work done in about 5 years or so and don’t have much arm room left but this is gonna be good. Will also be the first time having her work on me without taking smoke breaks too! 
Ok...work to do, an Agave to go see, a moon to blow kisses to...such a full and glorious night awaits! 
Stay well Ladies. Things are getting rough out there... not an end in sight either, so keep doing what helps which is not smoke!

 Lore

P.S. Forgot to say...Peggy...wear that jewelry for YOU! You don’t have to go anywhere at all! 

Hi there, im a serial quitter i always keep trying. I know i kinda enjoy those days when i smoke like 6-8 cigs w friends but then its just so hard to quit again.

I think that socializing even if it involves a  a cig, is way better than being on the internet all day, there have been many studies on it, so taking a break from these social media sites may help as well, we need to connect with real people. 

I didnt smoke all day and got a lot done today, which im grateful for. 

I hope everyone is having a good day. 

Hey Overdoz!

I could not agree more. So far I’ve been able to socialize even around smokers without smoking, though the opportunities to socialize have been really limited. My slips were all on just me by myself.  But yes...real people is always better. I’ve been fortunate in that I have not been off work all this time so actually get sick of being with people at times. Don’t mean that as harsh as it sounds, but, hopefully you know what I mean...I’ve never had a social media experience other than here. One of the things bothering me most with our new way of life is the disconnected feeling I get out and about because of masks. It just seems to add to an already declining social structure in ways. I get it, and support it, but still...really miss seeing smiles in passing... I had this conversation with someone who told me they thought I struggle with it more because I’m not used to dealing with people in a removed way such as FB, etc. I don’t know, but I do know I’m struggling with it! Hence, all the natter I write! Lol!

Glad to see you hanging on! 

hanging on by an atom.. I take it a day at a time, very thankful when i dont smoke for extended periods, but then again i dont beat myself up when i do if that makes sense. 

Are you quit? Or are you smoking? 

I’m quit but slipped twice since February 23rd. Once early March with just part of one. The second time was early June, the 8th or 9th, and smoked 8!! Actually said I was gonna smoke the whole pack, but didn’t. So, yeah...just keep doing it and those extended periods still count as smoke free days. I really believe the most important thing is just don’t stop quitting. One of these days, that addict will shatter and you will be sick and tired of being sick and tired of it and just won’t anymore. You are also letting go of alcohol too, right? So, just keep doing it and count your successes as they all have value. You still running?