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7/6/20
Good morning Saint Eve!
I don’t know...I think some days are just funk days. Maybe dreams are involved and have something to do with it when I wake up, but they are most always buried somewhere deep in my brain and I don’t often recall them. That is probably good. Can’t imagine they would be too worthwhile nowadays.
I love those Claddagh rings. I’ve never had one, but always thought them interesting and pretty. Did you get yours when you were in Ireland? Were you smoking when you took that trip? Not sure why I was just thinking about that. Maybe thinking about flying. That is gonna be a huge trigger for me when the time comes, which, by the looks of things with all this COVID19 stuff, it isn’t going to be anytime soon! Oh well. Got nothing but time. So hopefully will be over the big hump and be able to fly without smoking first. I am hoping to go next year later Spring, so we’ll see.
Right now I feel like I’m coming to terms with some aspects of human nature that aren’t too appealing. Addiction is one for sure, and I’m pretty happy I never got into other stuff in addition to tobacco. But, addicts are funny no matter their vice. Cigarette addicts are not much exception in the way they congregate to take part, and congregate to unhook. It’s funny too how some relate it to other aspects of their life. I have a friend who “gave up smoking for Lent” this year. I had a real hard time wrapping my mind around that one. Can’t say I can expound on why without coming off sounding judgmental so will leave it. Suffice it to say it felt really disingenuous to use one’s religion in that way. But, whatever. She went right back smoking on Good Friday! Anyway...it just seemed a very selfish use of things and a weak rationale. I guess it is easier for some to use their loose affiliation to assuage their quit. Anyway. I just got an email from her so it made me think about it and made my mind wander, which usually doesn’t take much. She thought it odd that even though I wasn’t smoking I still referred to myself as an addict.
Me, I guess I’d rather just own it full on and take my own responsibility for it. It sucks, yes, but in the end I’d rather not have the guilt of doing it for anything other than my own reasons.
Yeah...another funk day so far, but looking up soon as I’m going to meet my friend and Tattooist. This is gonna be a day where I don’t bother trying to find a reason to be in a funk and just roll with it. It passes usually pretty quickly.
Hope your day is great!
Forgot to add...yes, Eve...time for you to get another one! Lol!
7/7/20
Hi Lor the Magnificent!
I hope these “funk” days get fewer and far between! I think dreams have a lot to do with our moods......last night I dreamt about work, and feel I should get paid over time or at least a day off! Lol.....oh well, probably not.
We are definitely addicts or we could give this up and no big deal. I think I personally have a weird addictive personality, I tend to focus sometimes on something for a while (days or weeks) then my A.D.D. kicks in and I see a squirrel and brain shifts.....again lol.
No I have always worn a Claddagh ring since about my 20s, it’s been changed out a couple times , for more expensive and durable ones. Wearing jewelry for my job is tough so it really has to withstand some jolting.
Getting thru these “funk” days is really tough, especially if you live alone. Peanut gets a lot of sleep and loving those days. But we have read the people in front of us post, and not 1person said they regret being a non smoker, so we just have persevere and know we can get through this TOGETHER!
What kind of tattoo are you getting and where? I have only the one, it’s Gossamer from Bugs Bunny. I’m a huge Looney tunes collector. So I already know what I would get, Marvin the Martian wearing an Eagles Jersey With his gun, and the flag popped out with LLII on it. Which is the Super Bowl we won. Yes I have put some thought into it, I just need to draw it.
I hope you have a fantastic day! Some days you just need to stop and smell the air, and say I’m going to be happy today!
Hiugs!
7/7/20
Good morning Eve,
Yeah...seems like I’m having more funk days than in the dreaded 3rd month. I suspect it has to do with more than quitting though, so don’t want that to be a deterrent to anyone. Actually...more than suspect, I know it does. Keeping an eye on it and know it will pass, so...
You are the second person here to associate my user name with “magnificent”. So, here is the story...as I’m not magnificent at all.
My father was 110% German and I grew up in a very small German Midwest town. Actually went to a church where the entire service was in German and I didn’t understand much of it all! He was of the generation and belief that his kids needed to learn English. Period. English was his second language and he struggled as a kid with it and did not want us to have those problems. Yes, he was an immigrant back before that was a dirty word. He was brought here with his family as a young boy in the early 1920s.
My name at birth was Heidi. It was given to me by the doctor who delivered me as he felt entitled to do that with me being the 9th one of us he delivered. Well...my dad hated that name! He was angry. So he said I would be named Rebecca. Well, the doctor then said if I were named that I “wouldn’t darken his door ever again”. So...the fight went on for 4 days, and then my wise and loving Mother stepped in and said “Enough. Her name is Lorelei”. She was not German but liked the name. And it was pronounced Lo-ra-lie. 3 syllables. My mother and sibs always called me “Lore” which rhymes with store, or Lorelei when I was in trouble. I liked that enough.
Well, in the 70s, I hated it! STYX had come out with that song “Lorelei” and I just hated it. So I started to call myself “Lori”. That stuck and when I was older I changed it legally to “Lori”. I felt it was more “professional “. My Mom was a bit bummed, but rolled with it.
Then...when my Stepson was about 10, he and some friends of mine were talking and decided that “Loreficent” was a good nickname for me. Mostly they had the idea because “Maleficent” was the Fairy that was so protective and yes, formidable, when it came to protecting the Moors and all the creatures that lived there. So they took Lore and combined it. I liked it cause it was one, odd, and two, had the root “Lore” which since my Mother had passed, I felt paid some homage to her. So, it is a nickname given me by my wonderful Stepson who is now 26, and some friends. They had seen me as formidable in dealing with Stepson’s dad, who was...difficult, and know how I am with creatures; very protective.
So when I joined here, I thought, “yeah...I want to be formidable with quitting smoking”, meaning intense and capable. So I joined here with my nickname, Loreficent. But I also am liking being called “Lore” again, as it seems my Mom was wise after all.
Now...on to another smoke free day! Yippee!
7/7/20
Realized I didn’t answer your question or comment on some of the most supportive things you said, Eve.
Well, that tattoo idea of yours sound fun and you should draw it out! I can’t seem to draw worth beans, so leave it all to my Tattoist. Who is fabulous and we have maintained a friendship since she last worked on me about 5 years ago. She is one of those who could smoke a cigarette then not have one for a few months till she saw me again. Was good to see her yesterday and not smoke. We killed a whole 64 ounces of some really good Kombucha and ate a whole bag of chips! Lol! So fun. Her schedule is over a year out as she is known around Portland and Seattle for being so good. She fits me in though as I can come on very short notice if someone cancels usually. We added it up once and I’ve got about 32 hours of her work on me. Spread out over about 15 months initially. Then a few more here and there. Got my first one about 14 years ago now. This one will be top of right shoulder/ upper arm and blend into what is below.
Yeah...the blah days will fizzle out. I’m not terribly worried about them. Some days all I do is sleep and walk, sleep and walk...figure as long as I’m not sleep walking I’m ok! Lol.
I agree too that sometimes one just has to step outside their head, take a breath and say “I’m gonna be happy today”. So...I’ll do that tomorrow! Ha!
So glad to see you doing so well. I also agree that your job needs to pay you for the time you dream about it! So does mine, though thankfully I don’t think I’ve ever dreamt about my work.
Hugs to you Eve!
7/7/20
Ok I loved your LONG answer on How you got your name...lol, but I still have no idea where it’s from, a movie? A tv show? I called you Lor the Magnificent because you call me Saint Eve. Which I am absolutely not!
Not terribly worried about the blah/funk days but they get annoying. Maybe just need to jump in the car and just drive for a while.
Glad you were able to hang out with tattooist without smoking. Very cool, did u even get a trigger/cravings?
Today at work.....random thought....time for a smoke break! What where did that come from? Just shook it off and continued with my day. So it really does get easier. Fantastic!
I’m so glad that you seem in a better mood. Yes the world is crazy right now, but remember your sanity comes first! So if we need to NOT WATCH news for a while, then do it! We really need to still focus on our quit so we don’t fall back to the obvious triggers.
I’m going to wait awhile to get that tattoo, because not really sure if want another one.
Hope your day was productive and Pleasant!
7/7/20
Eve you crack me up!
The name “Loreficent” is made up. A cross between “Lore”, which is what my family calls me as it was short for my given name, so a cross between that and “Maleficent”. Which, yes, Disney made the story into a movie, but the story itself is way older. Like most things with Disney...they take old stories and make a huge fortune on them. Sinful. Anyway...if you haven’t seen the movie, it is good! I absolutely LOVE that her guard in the movie is named Balthazar! That name is eons old.... I’m kind of in to that kind of thing, old names and mythology.
My tattoo on my right arm is Excalibur being held by the Lady In the Lake and it is a very pretty tattoo. The story of King Arthur is my all time favorite story ever!! There are many many versions of it, but the story itself is actually very very old. There was a movie, in the 80’s I think, that is likely dated appearing with some special effects nowadays, but King Arthur is played by Nigel Terry...so very easy on the eyes! Lol!
So...just call me Lore, or Lori, Or Loreficent. I’ll answer to any of those. Just don’t call me a smoker. Or don’t call me late if there is ice cream involved.... particularly if it is Cherry Garcia!
Oh...and forgot to add...I call you Saint Eve because you ARE a Saint! Have saved me more than you know....
7/7/20
You are Magnificent, and no I didn’t see or ever heard of the movie. I don’t usually watch a lot of Disney movies. My nephew was in the Lion King for his school 2years ago, and I was invited to see him. Well it’s middle school play so I figured I better watch the movie so I could follow it, turned out he was the lead the young cub (forget the name). Anyway he was actually good, everyone was good, couldn’t believe it.
So to clarify.....I probably haven’t seen it. Oh I’m just starting How I met your mother. Only about 7 or 8 years behind. Lol
So we have saved each other! And one day we will be at a year going WOW , I cannot believe WE made it!
7/7/20
Oh my gosh, yes we will be! You will beat me there, but that’s ok. You are amazing. Not one stumble. Strong work girl friend, strong work.
Oh, how fun! I love kid’s plays! So full of spontaneity and giggles! Can’t say I’ve seen that one either. Not Disney, but one of my all time favorites from when my Stepson was a young lad is “SHREK”. Every now again when we are together and need to cheer each other up we watch it again! It struck me as one of the first kids shows that had a lot of jokes and innuendo meant for the adults that were forced to watch those shows repeatedly and I still laugh!
How I Met Your Mother is funny. A bit irreverent which I also love. I don’t watch much TV, especially this time of year, but sometimes I just want to veg. Then I watch The Office. So funny. I even watched the British version, which I think actually came first. So good.
I have Netflix so watch some stuff there more in the Winter when it is dark so early.
Some torrential rain coming down now and the sun is peeking through at the same time....gonna be a rainbow to end the day on. Nice. Hope it stops for me to walk by 9 though else I’m gonna get soaked cause it sure won’t stop me. Maybe that would be good... a cleansing from the heavens. Save my soul from myself today maybe! Ha!
7/8/20
Almost stumbled, big time, but you and everyone got me through it! Oh and of course when in doubt......nap! That was the hardest one that I ever had! I still remember the cig in one hand and the lighter in the other. But I didn’t want to let anyone down so I persevered! I’m so happy that I did! Because all the other’s that followed were just blips, that I thought , wow that’s all you got?
Love Shrek.....ok saw all of those! Liked them!
Did you get soaked? Did you cleanse yourself? We are going to get there before you know it! I feel I’m still healing because my body still desires sleep! But it’s getting better! I need to just go with the flow!
Hope you have a wonderful day!
7/8/20
Good morning Eve!
It stopped pouring and was so fresh and beautiful out. Funny how the rain brings out such green smells. Mmmmm. The clouds were exceptional with sky cast with that pink/gold/ blue color. So pretty. There were all these little snails out like they are after it rains and I had to watch where I walked. Moved one of them as I didn’t think he was gonna make it across a street before a car might come. So, yeah, it was a good walk.
Having a hard time extracting myself from some mental fog this morning and don’t feel like going to work at all. Got today and Friday and then 7 days off so, think I can do it. Just don’t want to!
Listening to some crows carrying on about something in the most raucous manner... must be a hawk nearby that has them all agitated.
Agitated. That’s a good word.
Im trying to remember you having a smoke in your hand. That was a long time ago now! Did you ever throw that pack away?
Have a good strong day. Will be home before we know it.