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This community is open to all who are recovering from nicotine addiction.
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5/31/20
Hello Peggy. So glad you like the pilates and yoga. My cat gets totally on top of me when I am on the mat as well. As you say, pets believe the ground is *their* territory.
This virtual dating thing is not for the faint of heart .. let me tell you that much. I haven't heard from the guy from last and I want a do-over and not sure if it's too late for that : (
I am not a drinker at all. But I had a couple drinks beforehand to calm my nerves. The result .. I was tipsy, And because of that I think the conversation my not have flowed well. I was a little loud and clumsy and come to think of it slurred my words at moments .. since I do not drink regularly the alcohol went straight to my head.
Now I am wrestling with sending him a message to explain myself and give my number to him should he be at all interested in giving me a chance to redeem myself or just let it go, move on, and accept defeat on this one.
i am getting mixed reviews from friends on what to do about this. This whole online stuff is TOUGH though, Very. Dating is not the way it was 20 yrs ago when I was in my 20's .. the rules have all changed due this online component and then add covid lockdown into the mix .. yikes .. it is tricky.
it is hard to find someone you are actually interested in though and this guy I actually am interested in. Could just kick myself for pouring all that liquid courage of Amaretto sours though. Dang it. Would you email him a brief email to explain oneself and give an effort to try to revive this or just totally let it go?
I will paste the email I have sent to friends in what I am planning on saying to him in a later post if curious and if you need to make a decision on what you would do. Let me know if you want to read that.
- Deana
5/31/20
Oh Hey Anthony,
Great to see you!! Thanks for the congrats yesterday. I finally had the courage to tell a couple of friends outside my close knit group ( my tribe) that I had quit. So I did that yesterday. You know how you never want to tell anybody because you are pretty sure it will be another epic fail??? I wanted to start telling some others this time. Still want to keep the number small. Feels safer somehow. You got your month, right? Forget your quit date.
cool about your new camera. It was YOU who got me thinking about Fall.........my favorite!! Alas I have a hot Texas summer to get thru but the pool is ready so will see what I can do. Hugs to you.
Be blessed and have a marvelous smoke free day!!
Peggy
5-8-20
5/31/20
Love that song!! Gotta love Neil. You the bomb, girl. Always make me smile Ms. Lori Komaucha? Sp?
Peggy
5-8-20
5/31/20
Yeah...my new name..Lore Kombucha! I like the name and LOVE the drink. Best addiction ever. Love Neil too. After The Gold Rush...
My stepson is gonna give me some of his SCOBY so I can start making my own...I’m spending a small fortune on it. Should have bought some stock in Brew Dr. Yeah...chomping at the bit here to get to Seattle to see my boy and get some SCOBY!!! No Summer Solstice Fest this year though...
5/31/20
Dee....
YES I do want to read that. Hey dating has changed a lot from even 5 years ago!!! Lol.
I think you are being too hard on yourself. If he is decent of course you can have a do over. I like how you worded that about redeeming yourself. Seriously, it is nice to find someone you actually like so I say go for it. Life is too short. Do we really want to give our valuable time to just thinking about it? I am changing my tune about this. Just say what I feel and let the chips fall where they may.
Hear ya about the liquid courage although that drink sounds good. They all sound good to me so that’s why I don’t drink. Not long ago I would have smoked the guy under the table. With drinking tho, It’s just those blank spots where you can’t remember the conversation that gnaw on the mind. So what if you got a little giddy? Anyone with half a brain can tell you have snap. His loss.
My only suggestion, should you decide to contact him would be super brief. Like one sentence or a text.
Gosh you make me miss my cats. Love when they would just come lay on back if I was napping on my stomach. Our babies. Such lifelines!!
Keep me posted and have a fab smoke free day
Peggy
5-8-20
5/31/20
Perfect name Lore Kombachu....don’t even know how to pronounce that
Yes by all means go get the starter from your stepson. Ridiculous to spend big bucks on something you can make. Love my veg garden for that reason......full circle life
Yeah that festival sounds cool. Major festival season here too but all cancelled. In a way I like the break. Don’t have to feel like I HAVE to go cos I don’t have a choice!! Keeping it simple,!
5/31/20
Kom - Bu - Cha!
If we’re gonna be friends you gotta know how to say my name!!
5/31/20
OK .. earlier in the video chat he asked me what I was going to do for dinner. Told him Italian sausage. So when he ended the chat at 7:00 .. we had started talking at 6:00 .. he said he was going to get going and make his dinner. And then said we should do this again sometime and told me he tell him how the sausage comes out. But .. I fear he was just filling in dead space/air in saying that.
He was drinking a beer but was cold stone sober and when he said was going to grab a beer I told him sounds like a great idea and I was going to pour myself a drink .. so he knows I had a drink .. saw me drinking it .. but didn't know I had some BEFORE the chat began as well on top of that one.
He had given me his number last week but did not give him mine .. told him before I do that I wanted to do a video chat .. had way too many bad experiences with online dating by now .. been at it about a year .. have had many first dates .. but no second ones .. most of the dates were nightmares .. a guy who was using old pics of himself but showed up about 100 lbs overweight and one that smiled at me when meeting in parking lot of restauarnt only to expose a tooth missing in the front of his mouth but he seemingly thought noting of it .. and and on with bad experiences.
Anyway, that is a little background to why I am thinking about writing what I have drafted here below. Please give me your thoughts on this. Thinking about sending it around 5:00 . which is 1.5 hrs from now here on est.
I think I am really putting myself out there by doing this but I really want a do-over on this as this guy IS someone I would like to date .. that is very hard to come across online in my experience. Anyway, thoughts on below ....
*****************
5/31/20
Hey Dee..
I know you didn’t post this to me and I am certainly NOT qualified to offer any sound dating advice by any stretch...but..
I think if you are gonna reach out I would not apologize for yourself. Just move on and ask how his dinner came out....?
Im not the “dating type” though and tend to just be real and honest with whomever. Love hurts no matter how you approach it.
Good luck!
5/31/20
Hi Lore -- I know what you mean but I feel there needs to be an explanation to my loud and perhaps .. rude? .. obnoxious behavior? .. some of things I did was talk about my experience being "trashed" in Mexico from tequilla when he mentioned he drinks it occasionally. I actually outright said I was "trashed" from them feeding it down my throat and I have never touched it again. Then I called Eric Trump a "loser" .. he doesn't like Trump so we are on the same page on that .. but did I have to be so abrupt in calling this guy a "loser" ..
He seems pretty mild mannered. A kind of low key guy and I was acting like a strung out bird on a wire ..
I think there needs to be some sort of explanation to my behavior for either he knows i was drunk .. or worse yet, he thinks that is just my behavior .. I was like a bull in a china shop .. and the conversation just didn't flow well as I was constantly bringing the conversation back to covid or his Indian ancestry .. I think this lock down has messed with my conversational skills.
This guy looks like Sunjay Gupta from CNN .. really nice looking .. and our emails prior to this video chat had a real good flow .. by getting drunk last night I have probably have him scratching his head on the me he saw last night vs the me he has read emails from .. a difference in temperment, etc .. I am just concerned it needs some sort of explanation.
If you were me what exactly would you say to this guy at this juncture?