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NOPE Pledge Sunday May 31 ...    General Chit-Chat

Started 5/31/20 by JerseyDee; 1026 views.

From: JerseyDee


OK .. earlier in the video chat he asked me what I was going to do for dinner.  Told him Italian sausage.  So when he ended the chat at 7:00 .. we had started talking at 6:00 .. he said he was going to get going and make his dinner.  And then said we should do this again sometime and told me he tell him how the sausage comes out.  But .. I fear he was just filling in dead space/air in saying that.

He was drinking a beer but was cold stone sober and when he said was going to grab a beer I told him sounds like a great idea and I was going to pour myself a drink .. so he knows I had a drink .. saw me drinking it .. but didn't know I had some BEFORE the chat began as well on top of that one.

He had given me his number last week but  did not give him mine .. told him before I do that I wanted to do a video chat .. had way too many bad experiences with online dating by now .. been at it about  a year .. have had many first dates .. but no second ones .. most of the dates were nightmares .. a guy who was using old pics of himself but showed up about 100 lbs overweight and one that smiled at me when meeting in parking lot of restauarnt only to expose a tooth missing in the front of his mouth but he seemingly thought noting of it .. and and on with bad experiences.

Anyway, that is a little background to why I am thinking about writing what I have drafted here below.  Please give me your thoughts on this.  Thinking about sending it around 5:00 . which is 1.5 hrs from now here on est. 

I think I am really putting myself out there by doing this but I really want a do-over on this as this guy IS someone I would like to date .. that is very hard to come across online in my experience.  Anyway, thoughts on below ....


Hi there.  Just to follow up with you my Italian sausage came out great last night and I hope your tacos were good as well!
The other reason I am writing is because after we got offline last night I realized that my drink had gone to my head and I was extremely tipsy.  I am not accustom to drinking so it didn't take long or much to impair me.

That said, you really didn't see a fair representation of me, rather an embarrassingly impaired version of me. Yikes.
If your are at all interested in giving me a chance to redeem myself sometime feel free to text or call .. xxx-xxx-xxxx.  

From: Loreficent


Hey Dee..

I know you didn’t post this to me and I am certainly NOT qualified to offer any sound dating advice by any stretch...but..

I think if you are gonna reach out I would not apologize for yourself. Just move on and ask how his dinner came out....? 

Im not the “dating type” though and tend to just be real and honest with whomever. Love hurts no matter how you approach it. 

Good luck!kissing_heart


From: JerseyDee


Hi Lore -- I know what you mean but I feel there needs to be an explanation to my loud and perhaps .. rude? .. obnoxious behavior? .. some of things I did was talk about my experience being "trashed" in Mexico from tequilla when he mentioned he drinks it occasionally.  I actually outright said I was "trashed" from them feeding it down my throat and I have never touched it again.  Then I called Eric Trump a "loser" .. he doesn't like Trump so we are on the same page on that .. but did I have to be so abrupt in calling this guy a "loser" ..

He seems pretty mild mannered.  A kind of low key guy and I was acting like a strung out bird on a wire .. 

I think there needs to be some sort of explanation to my behavior for either he knows i was drunk .. or worse yet, he thinks that is just my behavior .. I was like a bull in a china shop .. and the conversation just didn't flow well as I was constantly bringing the conversation back to covid or his Indian ancestry .. I think this lock down has messed with my conversational skills.

This guy looks like Sunjay Gupta from CNN .. really nice looking .. and our emails prior to this video chat had a real good flow .. by getting drunk last night I have probably have him scratching his head on the me he saw last night vs the me he has read emails from .. a difference in temperment, etc .. I am just concerned it needs some sort of explanation.

If you were me what exactly would you say to this guy at this juncture?


From: Loreficent


Oh, he sounds lovely Dee.

I think all I can say is it is best to just be yourself. It’s all we have at the end of the day. So if you follow your heart and throw all else to the wind things will be what they are...

Trust yourself.


From: euknight


Sorry signed off.  I think you are an hour ahead of me.  I like your note.  I don’t think you need to explain anything either so kind of with Lore on that unless you made a complete A out of yourself which I doubt you did.  Take a deep breath.

I know it is exciting to meet someone you may actually date.  Was not sure I could get this out I was laughing so hard about your dates......

Anyway you are an articulate, intelligent woman who would be a catch for any guy.  But look....if you are around him and feel like 3 drinks are you going to not do that because of what he might think?  I hope your answer is no.

Stop being hard on yourself and send the text...

Lol no doubt our fellow NOPE buddies will all be cheering you on!  Indian?  Niiiiiiice.



From: euknight


You got that right!!

To get back on topic....I wanted a cigarette just thinking about all that!!  Good reminder why I do not want to date.

Good luck, sweet Dee All Will all be fine.....


From: JerseyDee


Thank you ladies for your feedback.  I have sent the message off to him.  Now the waiting part begins.  Worse case scenario he writes back and says we are not a match.  Best case scenario he texts or calls to start talking more.  Other than that I just never hear from him again one way or the other .. so be it on that.  

But it is sent and out there now.  Sunjay Gupta it is up to you now.

CC to Loreficent

From: Eve1973


Hi Anthony, 

I will join you in pledging NOPE. Good job on 4 weeks! Keep going, it does get easier.


From: Ovivi


I’m here to pledge NOPE for today. We all smell really good today. Anyone else to pledge?


From: Jatchat


Thanks Peggy, 

Been getting the craves real bad lately in the afternoon/evening, but no way they are going to get the better of me. just love that now winter is here, getting some real cool light for photography. Early morning start this morning to catch the sunrise , took a thermos full of coffee, and was chatting to a pro-photographer down besides the river. Cool. Picked up a few tips going to cost me some money though. 

By telling others about your quit can also hold you accountable have you thought about that Peggy

Take care, big hugs