About Smoking Cessation Forum

Hosted by Terry (abquitsmking)

Formerly known as the About.com Smoking Cessation support forum, this community is open to all who are recovering from nicotine addiction.

  • 4648
    MEMBERS
  • 259733
    MESSAGES
  • 63
    POSTS TODAY

Discussions

Jenn's journey of hope   Quit Stories and Journals

Started 8/23/15 by ModJenn (blakwolf013); 89537 views.
In reply toRe: msg 16
ModJenn (blakwolf013)

From: ModJenn (blakwolf013)

8/23/15

(((((Jenn))))) my heart goes out to you.  Please save a slice of cake for me and we can sport our victory handles with pride together at the beach this summer.
 
I don't know what happened today or why I am in such a good mood without cravings.  I woke up in a terrible sweat this morning.  Soaked to the skin.  Perhaps I finally sweated out the last of my nicotine residue.  I really didn't even think of wanting a cig all day.  Last night though, before I went to bed I swore that I am going to STOP thinking that I want one.  I went to bed going through my list of all the good things that I have noticed happening to me since I stopped and maybe it was like when I used to act in plays and I would memorize my lines before I went to bed, they actually took hold of my subconscious during the night.
 
I just noticed this morning I stopped grinding my teeth at night.  First time in 10 years.  I normally wake up with my jaw clentched and a pain down my neck.  Not this morning.  My pain was gone and I was not clentching.  My neck tension is gone too.  I no longer have knots in my neck the size of walnuts.  Every day I am starting to find one new thing that is better now or one ailment that has gone away.  It's really remarkable when you think about it.
 
Tonight before you go to bed, try running through all the good things and tell yourself tomorrow you will not want a cig at all.... wrap yourself up in a heavy quilt, sweat, and maybe you will wake up without cravings too.
 
Saturday I think I had enough for a month, so it could also just be that I got them all out of my system in one day.  Who knows.  I am still going hour by hour, day by day...  have fun on the radio tomorrow.  Charming topic...:-((
 
XOXOXOX Diana
            photo winningheart_zpsa909ae07.jpg
Independance Day - March 23, 2013
In reply toRe: msg 17
ModJenn (blakwolf013)

From: ModJenn (blakwolf013)

8/23/15

My goodness Jenn!!!  Look at the following already!!!
 
Be sure to post how the interview wwent!!!!
 
Hugs
Foster  (AKA - Frank)                                Quit 2/02/12           
 
Frank's Quit Journal            First Year Smoke-Free Post            COPD Forum
                                      
   Photobucket
~ R.I.P.  Carol, Mary, Nita, Velma, Gaylene, Jo ~                     
In reply toRe: msg 18
ModJenn (blakwolf013)

From: ModJenn (blakwolf013)

8/23/15

Now you did it FosterFrank!! Everyone is going to go...what interview? LOL. Posting will follow shortly.
 
Hugs, Jenn
xo
                                  photo winningheart_zps76630b97.jpg
  photo wolfstar_zps0272f2dd.jpg
In reply toRe: msg 19
ModJenn (blakwolf013)

From: ModJenn (blakwolf013)

8/23/15

Well, another dreary day in the neighborhood. It is overcast, foggy, and raining. Fabulous. Now, let's hope my mood doesn't start to match the weather.
 
Sometimes I get really frustrated with myself and today is a good example. I know, I know, everyone's quit is different and unique. Even each of our own quits are different in one or more ways.My frustration concerns two things.
 
Still getting intense craves for ciggies 
I read a lot of posts from many different threads daily. I know I have to stay close to all of you or the stress of my current existence could potentially send my quit off the deep end. Call it temporary insanity. I'm still a work in progress and trying to change my relationship to cigarettes.
 
I am so happy for my quit buddies that are finally experiencing a day without cravings. Yipee!!!!! I'm frustrated and dejected because I'm not. No matter how busy I try to be, no matter how much time I spend reading posts and articles, I have not had a single day where I haven't experienced a craving the size of huge rhinoceros trying to run me over. The icing on the cake is this omnipresent brain fog that only lets up a few hours a day.
 
Does this make me weird? Does this mean I won't be able to quit? I'm frustrated because I want to be free from this addiction so bad it hurts me inside.There is a part deep inside me that dreams of a day like this. A part of me that fears it won't happen.
 
The last cigarette 
For the last couple of days I can't get that last pack of cigarettes out of my mind. You see, when I had my last smoke there were three cigarettes left in my pack. From a smoker's mindset, this is almost sacreligious not to smoke these. Why would I not want to 'enjoy' these three cigarettes? I'm the crazy one who came up with this nutty idea to stop smoking? I snapped all three ciggies in several pieces. Tobacco went everywhere. Did I smell them unlit one last time? Yes. Why? Your guess is as good as mine.
 
So, why am I thinking about these three ciggies? This makes no sense to me. I enjoy being able to breathe, not smelling stinky, not having to figure out a smoking strategy wherever I go, and so forth. 
 
Any thoughts? Is this just a newbie thing that will pass once I'm past a certain number of months smoke-free?
 
Hugs and love, Jenn
xo
 
                                  photo winningheart_zps76630b97.jpg
  photo wolfstar_zps0272f2dd.jpg
In reply toRe: msg 20
ModJenn (blakwolf013)

From: ModJenn (blakwolf013)

8/23/15

Jenn I used the patch and that really helped me with the cravings. I would say that it gets easier and easier as the days go by, by 3 months it was much better. If I can quit ONE Day at a Time after 44 years of smoking 30 cigs a day, anyone can. I made quitting my number One Priority, as I knew that I had to, from an insurance and money standpoint and a health standpoint! I take the NOPE PLEDGE daily and comment in Frank's quit journal > and the April Seniors topic!!
QUIT DATE: June 27, 2011, Noon Forum Angels ~ Always Near, Guiding, Educating, Lending Support
In reply toRe: msg 20
ModJenn (blakwolf013)

From: ModJenn (blakwolf013)

8/23/15

Hi Karen,
 
For the most part, I'm not minute by minute anymore but I'm certainly still hour by hour and day by day. I didn't smoke as long as you. I was a pack a day (in Canada that's 25 cigarettes) for 24 years. Ick.
 
I try to pledge everyday. The days I miss are because its too late in the day. I also follow Frank's journal daily. He is such an inspiration and so supportive of others. I am so blessed to have the opportunity to get to know him.
 
Hugs, Jenn 
                                  photo winningheart_zps76630b97.jpg
  photo wolfstar_zps0272f2dd.jpg
In reply toRe: msg 20
ModJenn (blakwolf013)

From: ModJenn (blakwolf013)

8/23/15

Jenn Frank is such an inspiration. One of these days you'll turn around and it won't be hour by hour anymore and you'll wonder when or how that happened. I can promise you that-glad you quit earlier than I did!
QUIT DATE: June 27, 2011, Noon Forum Angels ~ Always Near, Guiding, Educating, Lending Support
In reply toRe: msg 20
ModJenn (blakwolf013)

From: ModJenn (blakwolf013)

8/23/15

(((Jenn))) Healing is so different from stopping smoking. Discovering our inner demons is, I think, a sign that we are building a solid WIN. 
 
It may be painful to discover at this point in our lives how much was buried deep in our spirit. So getting free from the chains of slavery to nicotine is just the beginning.
 
I'm making the very same discovery as you---and I thought I knew myself pretty well :-)))
 
Maybe our best gift right now is that we are enduring the opening of old wounds, we are no longer afraid to look at our hidden truths, & we are beginning to discover that even deeper truths are there: our essential beauty & goodness.
 
I believe that God sees the essential beauty. I can so easily get caught up in the mess. If I let the mess upset me, I'll be off to the store for cigarettes. 
 
Oh this is one tough journey & we are walking it together---all of us wonderful Marchers for Life.
 
Love & hugs
 
 
            
                              "Those who hope in God
                               renew their strength and
                             soar on wings like eagles."  Isaiah 40
                                                     
               
Peace, gratitude and joy,                                                          
Marian 
 
starpearl2 photo 95300ee0-fe45-4406-86ea-0543e4a4cfe7_zps54b8689d.jpg
In reply toRe: msg 24
ModJenn (blakwolf013)

From: ModJenn (blakwolf013)

8/23/15

Hi Jenn, I had one and only one of the symptoms that plague so many. No insomnia, depression, coughing, etc. I had brain fog. It was incredibly unnerving. I actually thought something was wrong with me. Then one day I awakened, and it was gone! Perhaps we can't call ourselves a true success until we have been quit for a hundred years, but I'm coming up on two and feel like I'll be okay.
And though nearly 40 days feels monumental, it's still fairly early. The cravings will subside, as long as you don't smoke. 
Re:the three ciggies. That's your junkie whispering to you. Those were yours, and if only you had smoked them, you'd be satisfied, and....
 
21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Note to self: Still a drag away from a pack.
In reply toRe: msg 25
ModJenn (blakwolf013)

From: ModJenn (blakwolf013)

8/23/15

Hi Anna,
 
I was giggling away when I got to the part of the JT about the three cigarettes left. How true. How true,
 
I'm relieved to know that I'm not the only one who got disoriented in a brain fog. It is nightmarish because I am getting next to no work done and it's piling up really fast. So far I have been able to "wing it" but this does nothing when it comes to producing manuscripts by deadlines. I am missing the second deadline on Wednesday.
 
37 days seems like an eternity to me right now because it's still hour by hour and day by day. What is scary is that this just scratches the surface time-wise. I know this. The only thing I could do I have done. I put on my seat belt. Then I realized if I was going to go racing around like a lunatic a five point harness would be much better. Sufficiently strapped in I'm in for the ride bumps and all.
 
Hugs, Jenn
xo 
 
                                  photo winningheart_zps76630b97.jpg
TOP