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Smoked 22 years and got covid   Introductions/Newcomers Nook

Started Aug-8 by Galadriel81; 1676 views.
Galadriel81

From: Galadriel81

Aug-8

Hi everyone,

I’m 38 and on the 25th of July I tested positive for covid. I only got tested because my husband had symptoms. Since I didn’t have any, I continued to smoke for a few more days. Then, a week later, I started having allergy symptoms and dizziness. I decided to not smoke and it has been 10 days. I did not get a severe form of covid, but it was not fun. It also was not fun to think about how much my world and my routine revolve around my cigarette smoking. I was smoking almost 2 packs a day during the pandemic, I chalked this up to teleworking, anxiety, and boredom. I was also drinking more. For a long time I had been able to excercise and smoke. However, I now found myself nearing 40, overweight, sendentary and with low self esteem. Most of my girlfriends have quit, their skin looks great, they have an excercise routine and seem more grown up than I do because of this. I put myself down often for being a smoker. I have also meen trying to get pregnant for the past 4 years, I only had a 12 week pregnancy that ended spontaneously, and I wouldn’t be surprised that it was related to my years of smoking (I did not smoke during the pregnancy). I feel that I need this change to feel happy, however, my mind plays tricks on me and I feel like I’ll never have fun again, that life without cigarettes is lame and boring and I’m scared once the pandemic ends and I start socializing again, that my social anxiety will push me back into smoking. I would love to learn tips, particularly on how to deal with social situations and other triggers, at this pint I cannot drink coffee or alcohol because they raise my cravings too much. Best of luck to all!

Eve1973

From: Eve1973

Aug-8

Hi Gal and welcome, 

1st off go to the start of August 2020, for new comers. Read what the mods have written. It has great tips and advice. 
 

When you have a craving, come on here and READ A LOT! The craving will pass and you have won! We are all here for you! 
 

Are you quitting cold turkey or using NRTS? If cold turkey, all nicotine is out of body with in 3 days after stopping and your lungs are already healthier! 
 

keep up the good work! Congratulations on deciding to take your life back!

xvaper

From: xvaper

Aug-8


Hi Galadriel81,

I know exactly how you feel.

I am only 39 days smoke free, so I am far from being an expert, but I felt exactly like you. I also have social anxiety and used vaping and cigarets thinking it helped me. I also thought like I’ll never have fun ,that life without cigarettes is lame. 

My way of dealing with it, is to just go day by day, Don't worry about what life would be like, just concentrate on today.

I told myself, "well, I can always go back to smoking ,so why not try this first? what do I have to lose?"

We are both captives of a lot of brainwashing through suggestion and product placement, and we are addicts. We think we smoke for socializing, for an emotional crutch, for relaxation. We romanticize cigs. But the reality is we only smoke because we are addicted to nicotine.

Lots of on smokers have fun and not boring lives. I have several friends who have way more interesting lives than me, who happen to be non smokers.  I also have some friends who have issues with depression or anxiety yet It doesn't occur to them to reach out for a cigaret when they are socializing or if they are stressed or feel anxiety, because they are not addicted to nicotine. They just didn't happen to pick up that first cigaret, or they tried one and it was so awful they did not want to do it again.

I am not going to tell you that my brain is done playing tricks, or that I don't have mad cravings, but its not an all day torture. Usually if I wait long enough, 20 min at most, the cravings subsides. I am far from being out of the woods, but I didn't think I would survive a day, and here I am 39 days later. I feel more energetic and free from having to worry about my vape, running out of juice or filters or whatever else. I don't sit on the couch vaping away or in my back yard chain smoking, Instead I get up and do something, it is a nice change, I get more things done.

I hope, in time, to sever the ties in my brain between cigarets and any activities in my life where a cigaret was supposedly 'needed'.  It is an addiction, plain and simple, and your brain will try to trick you and bargain with you, because your reward system has been hijacked by nicotine to demand it again and again. BUT you can beat it. It is being done every day by people on this site and everywhere else. And yes unfortunately, nicotine interferes with the production of collagen and you can't get it back. Personally I never wanted children, but if you really want to get pregnant and have difficulties doing so, you need to remove toxins from your system. Never mind all the other health risk. I know all that goes out the window when we want to smoke, but it doesn't make it not true.

What do you have to lose? Give it a whirl. Forget about what life will be like. Just try one day at a time, a week at a time.

This site has a lot of information about dealing with triggers and cravings, and support from members. Different people use different methods and you can read and see what fits you. And If you slip you can always get back on the horse, there is no judgement here.



--
D*

TinyBadger

From: TinyBadger

Aug-8

Hi there and welcome! I'm sorry you got covid, but am really proud of you for making it ten days. That's a HUGE achievement! I am almost 40, overweight (aren't most of us?) And I was sedentary. I have decided to quit smoking and be more active. I've been walking for at least an hour a day, and this has helped my mind and my weight significantly. Years ago, my husband and I talked about having children, and we did try for a few years, but I had "lady" issues and so I ended up getting a hysterectomy. At first I felt sadness about it, and then I realized that the universe is unfolding just as it should. I have anxiety and am quite introverted, so social situations aren't really my gig. All I can do at any moment is try my best to be mentally and physically healthy. But I can be healthier, and you can too! Quitting smoking is a huge a huge step and one that is definitely worth it. Like others have said, there is great support and tons of articles and tips here. Plan ahead: have a way out if a social situation is triggering. Go with another non-smoker or hide in the bathroom and post an sos here. It also helps to change your schedule, I changed the way I got ready in the morning. If you can't drink coffee, drink tea. Or drink it later in the morning. Maybe not drinking alcohol would be a good idea. Totally up to you, but I have heard that abstaining can help. You'll do it, because you want to! Post if you need back up and read, read, read! 

xvaper

From: xvaper

Aug-9

Sorry to hear about your experience. Having said that, most of my friends had kids, exhausting ragrats that gave them very little freedom and now they have sulky teens. One of my friends is my age (47) and she had a kid on her own at 43. What a nightmare, this kid is super hyperactive tantrumy little so and so, she has no time to breath, let alone socialize or date, even a brunch is a production. So there are pros and cons for sure.

In reply toRe: msg 5
TinyBadger

From: TinyBadger

Aug-9

This sounds craptastic to say, but I'm really glad we didn't have kids. They aren't for everyone, and realize that I like being selfish. I like quick weekend trips or spontaneously taking a day off to do something fun. I like spending money on me and my husband. I feel like such a jerk saying this. Sheesh. 

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Aug-9

There is no need to feel like a jerk about that!! It is the responsible thing to say!! I had my daughter at 42. Had come to terms with it wasn’t something in my cards, so to speak, to have children. Was at peace with it. Then...well, things happen. So I am so very very grateful that it worked out like this for sure. But I will say having been in that space where a woman gets in coming to terms with not being a parent, and then it happening...it changes one’s life in immeasurable ways. It is 100% ok and good for one to recognize and voice what you did. Even though she is now over 17 and so so lovely, it is still a complete life altering thing to be a parent. I think so many people do it because we are raised feeling we are “supposed to “ and that we are not “whole” if we don’t, which is malarkey. They don’t understand the complete sacrifice and change it brings forever. Again, I am beyond grateful I have her, but more than that for who she is. We accept each other and she is wise and grounded and strong and has her need for space too. They don’t all turn out like that so I am beyond lucky I have one like I do. The Fates made a true match with she and I, they really did. But they don’t always and then what?? If you know you, which it sounds you do, and know and are aware of your limits and needs...that is good and healthy and ok. 
Sorry to butt in...just sometimes feel a need to as having been a person who became a parent “late” and I hear women express thoughts on not being one. Don’t mean to offend at all, and will remove this if it does for sure. I guess what I’m trying to say is it is ok to not have kids too!!

xvaper

From: xvaper

Aug-9

Why? because you chose not to sacrifice your life and work your ass off for an ungrateful child who is going to blame you for everything that is wrong with them when they grow up, and then you have to pay for a therapist on top of university fees ? And then stick you in an old peoples home and visit you once a month if you are lucky? I don't think so.

I subscribe to the argument that having kids is no less a selfish an act. Earth can definitely do with fewer people, we are destroying it with our increasing needs and greed, we kill animals, destroy their habitat and pollute the place to the degree of no return. We kill each-other mercilessly for territory or for tribal rivalry. We can't even feed all the people we have already. Plus, personally, don't know about giving life to another person, its a big burden to carry, a dubious 'gift' to give someone who has not asked for it. Life can be incredibly difficult for a lot of people. My friends choose to have kids because that's the thing to do, or they want to feel like a part of a family, or they want someone to take care of them in their old age, or because they want someone to love them, or they want to love someone who is 'theirs', or to save their marriage (never works), or simply because their bodies and brains tells them to procreate, like any other cow dog or cat. None of these reasons strike me as particularly altruistic. And no one would tell you this, but boy so many people with kids are conflicted about their feelings towards them and the sacrifices they have to make. And of course many of the same people are blaming their own parents for their flawed upbringing. I understand the mathematics, we need young people in a society to carry the cost of taking care of the older generation, and I like several of my friends' wonderful children and I enjoy them (above the age of 5) , but I wouldn't say that it's more or less selfish to choose not to procreate. Enjoy your freedom!

In reply toRe: msg 8
TinyBadger

From: TinyBadger

Aug-9

You said it just like I was thinking. I was so sad. Mostly for my husband. He likes kids but having witnessed our friends kids we are glad we don't have them. A lot of people ask us why we don't have kids, and its hard to explain. Like I said, originally we thought it was a good thing to do, but it really worked out for the best. Mother earth or God or whatever you believe in has its way of things working out. Later in life, I found out I was bipolar 2 and that while I seem "normal" I'm not inside. Not having children allows us to focus all our time on staying healthy together. I don't feel that I would have been a good mom because of my illness and my husband agrees. Plus, therapy and meds and doctors get spendy. 

xvaper

From: xvaper

Aug-9

Loreficent,

Why would speaking the truth in support of someone be offensive to anyone? It would only be offensive to people who are deep down not ok with their choice to have kids, and this hits a nerve with them. There is too much stigma regarding women who can't or choose not to have children and it's total B.S.

It is wonderful and lucky that you have such a great relationship with your daughter and kudos for bringing her up that way. And you are right you can't choose the character of your kid. They are people like any other and you don't get along with every person you meet do you?

I know several people that had kids in their 40's and they make great, patient and wise parents. Having said that the two that decided to go it alone are struggling big time.

My mom had me at 46, I was an unexpected pregnancy after years of trying and giving up. My parents and older brother were overjoyed with me. But unfortunately  both she and my dad, who was 10 years older than her, died from illnesses by the time I was 12. That is a big reason why I didn't particularly want to have children.

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