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Day 6 - anxiety    Quit Support

Started Oct-8 by Jaka38; 752 views.
Jaka38

From: Jaka38

Oct-8

Hi everyone. It's my 6th day without cigarettes. 

I felt pretty lousy in a morning, so I went for a long walk. I cannot force myself to work, it's too much right now. Didn't help much though. I spet entire time ruminating about future, past, not only about smoking. I noticed myself checking if I'll see someone smoking. This is something I usually did after some time without cigarettes. I tricked myself to go for a walk but in reality I was only looking for someone who has cigarettes. Today I noticed tendency and went away instead.

My anxiety level is pretty high since I quite smoking. Today especially. I hear buzzing in my ears, have rapid hard rate, tense face muscles etc. Anxiety along with depression were present in my life for really long time. I took medicine many times, had years of group therapy, regular meditation sits... It's better now but every time some huge stress comes along I fear of getting back. I used to believe cigarettes helped me deal with that, now I know that was never the case. I usually felt even lousier after a smoke. 

I'm just writing here cause I was told to do that and it actually feels better. To put some of the thoughts out there, gain some distance. It's also very encouraging and healing to hear some feedback from all of you. 

In reply toRe: msg 1

It's great to see you posting your battle. Yes quitting does increase our anxiety as our brain and nervous system are in overdrive right now. As drug addicts we see and feel how much our body craves just like a junkie. We need to use our inner gut strength to outwit that nicotine monster and stop rationalizing why we should just go ahead and have one (nicotine monster voice). That monster voice will scream at you to smoke in the beginning then changes tactics by gentle persuasion and tells you that you deserve a smoke. Don't fall for it ever again as its a trap. You are the one in control not him. So keep going no matter what crap gets thrown in your path to freedom. relaxed

"Quitting isn't for Sissies!" I quit poisoning myself Sept. 27, 2013

Jaka38

From: Jaka38

Oct-8

Now I know those tricks the mind plays. But during many of my quits (pauses) I wasn't able to see that. Especially after a longer period without smokes, I  was so confident I can smoke just one, or few occasionally from time to time. No problem. Didn't pass much time though and I was back in smoking business. Surprised actually.

In reply toRe: msg 3
Eve1973

From: Eve1973

Oct-8

Jaka, Can’t relate to the full blown anxiety, but am so proud you are writing and remember every minute, hour and day.... you are winning the fight. And OMG can it be a fight. Yep at 1st you are just looking, but don’t, that is the monster trying to lure you back. Believe me when I say, you will eventually smell it before you see it. At least I do now. Sometimes smells awful, other times smells good. But it’s another trick. 

You are doing great, keep going!

Jaka38

From: Jaka38

Oct-8

I know that. I smell it everywhere while I was walking through neighbourhood. My automatic response is to enjoy smelling but that only feeds craving and the wish for really smoke gets stronger. So I remembered to be careful what I'm wishing for. It's poison not some grand reward. 

How long are you smoke free if I may ask and how do you handle it? 

In reply toRe: msg 5
Eve1973

From: Eve1973

Oct-8

Ask away.....8months now. My longest ever. I believe I would have caved if I didn’t have this forum! I also learned a lot from this forum. With the support and knowledge I KNOW I will be successful. I honestly have noticed so many positives in NOT smoking. The one that is the biggest one for me is my energy level. I for years needed naps almost everyday just to make it through the day but now I can actually take a 20 minute power nap and feel great. My naps were hours long and the bags under my eyes cleared up. Teeth whiter, no more wheezing going up and down steps. I think I’m just noticing my sense of smell is different.....maybe sometimes not for the better......lol.

I used the NRTS ...Chantix.....currently still using, but am weaning myself off now. Doesn’t me the Nicodemon didn’t mess with me, plus my inner self still trying to lure me back. But it gets easier to dismiss it and say NOPE. Today saw my friend outside smoking at work, and just walked with her. No issues with it AT ALL. But I know that he can lurk around and maybe next time not so easy, but I will not let it lure me back. It honestly does get easier, but just know you are in it for the long haul and you will Persevere! 

Jaka38

From: Jaka38

Oct-9

Congratulations. I'm glad this forum helped you. This is olso something new to me as well. It's the first time I read so much about it, joined this forum... so I hope I'll follow your example on this path. Did you post a lot at a beginning of your quit? I have an urge to post every day and I do it in a morning. My morning in European time. So it takes some time for the first reply since most of you here are probably from US?

I can't imagine right now to walk or talk with someone who's smoking. Hope one day will be able to do that. I'm not using any NRT though. I guess it's easier with withdrawal? But now I'm probably over the worst part so just need to stick with it.

Have a nice day 

In reply toRe: msg 7
Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Oct-9

Hi Jaka,

You are doing great! Keep it up. I bet you are already noticing some positive differences, yes?

I think a lot of folks here are in the US, but there are others from all over, which makes it nice. Anthony is in Australia, a few folks from Canada, and I’ve seen some from the UK and other places in Europe too. Eve who is also in the US is 3 hours ahead of where I am on the West Coast. I’m a bit of night owl too so am often up at this time if you needed support. You are almost through the first week! That is very exciting and a huge milestone. What country are you in? 

Jaka38

From: Jaka38

Oct-9

Thanks. I know, it's almost a week. I do feel occasional joy for not smoking and not doing all the stupid things that come along that. I'm glad and worried at the same time if being honest. Glad for almost a week without and worried about the future and potential relapse. 

I'm from Ljubljana, Slovenia. Very tiny country near Italy Where are you from? I mean from which city in west coast?

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Oct-9

I’m in Portland, Oregon. It’s about to go into our rainy season here in a month or so. I’m not looking forward to it this year. I’ve been quit since February but the season changes have brought new challenges. 
Well, don’t look too far ahead and worry about it. Try to stay in the moment you are in and just enjoy where you are! Who knows what tomorrow brings. So much we can’t control in the world and such. It is good to embrace the things we can control, like not smoking. Let it be an empowering thing and not dreadful. Like everyone says, it will get better and less on your mind as time goes. The time will go by either way. Why start back up and then just wish you were where you are now? 
You can do this, and soon, you will feel more confident. Actually each time you don’t give in you are gaining confidence. Soon you will see! Believe in yourself as you are stronger than you know.

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