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Day 7 - a WEEEEK without a smoke, with a bit of anger   Quit Support

Started Oct-9 by Jaka38; 734 views.
Jaka38

From: Jaka38

Oct-9

Yeah, today it will be one week without cigarettes for me. I'm really happy about it. It was easier to manage the day compared to previous days. I was occupied by some more physical work which was the right choice for dealing with restlessness. I need to say that people from this forum were more than just supportive during first week struggle. Thanks again to all of you for your inspiring words of kindness.

Beside that I just had outburst of anger. I was arguing with my wife about some stupid things when anger totally took over, made me totally irrational. Meanwhile a very strong impulse to smoke arised, to go and buy some cigarettes. I didn't do that but went for a walk instead.  I'm writing this on a bench outside. I'm still pretty angry but it's losing its grip. Same goes for smoking. I'll walk some more. 

Wishing all of you lovely weekend kissing_heart

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In reply toRe: msg 1
Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Oct-9

Way to go Jaka!

That is so great you are through the hardest week. It truly is an accomplishment. 
Being mindful of how nicotine withdrawal will work on your mind is part of the battle for sure. I wrote somewhere here several months ago how if I am honest with myself, I admit that in the past quit attempts I had created more conflict than what was there at times so the addict voice could use it as rationale to go smoke. This is definitely not a pretty side of human nature, but it is real. The addiction has a voice in our heads and it is not unlike a manipulative teenager (no offense to teens!) . It takes time and brain development for a small child or teen to learn to use appropriate strategies to get what they want. I liken the addict voice to a spoiled teenager having a tantrum at times and as many of us know, teens have a huge arsenal of tactics for acquiring things. Also, like a teen, that addict voice is trainable. 
You did great to go for a walk and not smoke! Hopefully you can make amends with your wife and explain there was something underlying your over reaction. Never underestimate the addict voice, and also never let it lead the way. Your wiser self is always in there somewhere. Sometimes we have to step back and take some breaths or a walk to reconnect with it and refuel it, but it is always there.

Strong work!!clap

  • Edited October 9, 2020 11:42 am  by  Loreficent
Jaka38

From: Jaka38

Oct-9

I'm really happy about it. And thanks again for support. Means a lot. Do you by any chance practice some kind of budhist meditation? I'm just asking because I just thought about it. You tell stuff with such wisdom. Maybe that's it blush

It's much harder to let go of anger now during nicotine withdrawal. I just cannot let go. Smart thing is to get removed from emotionally over energised situation. One step at a time. 

In reply toRe: msg 3
Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Oct-9

Oh thanks Jaka, that’s a kind thing to say. Believe me, there have been plenty of times my Comrades here have talked me off the ledge! Especially earlier on. I am also an over thinker most of the time. I have my ways of meditation for sure and sometimes it is traditional but not always. I’m very into nature and being outside. Outside is my meditation space and my church, so to speak. I love darkness and walk at night, long soothing and peaceful walks. Anger is many things. There is most often something underlying it and right now there are many triggers not only in the world but in early cessation. You’re right. Step back from the energy of it. You are definitely a step ahead with the ability to recognize it and take the steps to remove yourself emotionally when needed. So you seem pretty wise yourself! This is a process and a delightful journey in so many ways. Soon you will look back and see how you stretched yourself and be even more inspired to keep going. Just did a little reading on where you are. So beautiful there. And you are in the Capital city. Lovely.

Jaka38

From: Jaka38

Oct-10

You're right. There are many triggers in early cessation. The difference is obvious. Compared to first days, seems easier anyway. I guess I'll keep posting here, not to make the same mistake as did before when I become too confident too early. 

Greetings from Ljubljana smile

In reply toRe: msg 5
Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Oct-10

This forum made all the difference for me this time around. Is your wife a smoker? That would make it very hard. I think acceptance of being an addict is vital too. Recognizing that we are always vulnerable. But vulnerable does not mean weak. 
I will have to look up how to pronounce that name! Now I have to try to sleep so goodnight from Portland! sleeping

  • Edited October 10, 2020 1:55 am  by  Loreficent
Jaka38

From: Jaka38

Oct-10

No, she's not smoker. She's been pushing me to quit for a long time. I was quite stubborn as a matter of speech smile

Good night and good luck 

In reply toRe: msg 7
Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Oct-11

Well that will help if you aren’t around it at home. I was the only smoker here too and didn’t have friends that I smoked with. It was a very individual and pretty private thing for me and the cigarettes themselves were my buddy. It took a bit of effort to be alone with myself without them at first for sure. Sometimes it still does. Walking helps a lot though as it is meditative and distracting at the same time.

Hope your day went well!

Jaka38

From: Jaka38

Oct-11

I can totally relate. For me it was social only at a beginning. Last years was almost entirely private with ocasional 'going out', drinks some beers and smok a pack. Otherwise it was rewarding strategy, date I had with myself. Did something good, feel stressed, avter coffee or lunck, morning started, good nitht, you name it. Cigarette was part of every little detail of my life. And if something didn't fit in I went annoyed. Like children wanting attention while I just wanted to smoke. I know, silly but true. 

DanJF3

From: DanJF3

Oct-11

I relate to what the two of you are saying and congratulations on Jaka on your smoke free week.  I have had very few smoking friends over the years and nobody I am close with now smokes.  No immediate family members smoke either so thankfully I don't have a lot of triggers that way but as you describe, in the past few years particularly, every free moment in my day seemed to be a trigger to smoke.  My mood didn't matter, I still smoked about the same if I was feeling good or not in a good mood.  Once the thought of smoking popped into my head there was no stopping me from lighting up.  I admit the craves still pop up even past 9 months but just knowing I am not alone helps me hang on and hopefully you are all feeling that strength that others can help provide.  Keep it going!

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