Formerly known as the About.com Smoking Cessation support forum, this community is open to all who are recovering from nicotine addiction.
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3 weeks ago I decided to quit smoking. It was not the first time. I decided to do that many times before, at least ten attempts of those quits were longer than this one so far. So what's so special about it?
As I already mentioned it's fourth attempt in this year alone. It was not planned as prepared in advance, date wac not carefully picked. Actually I decided a day before but couldn't get through and went right back to the store for a pack of cigarettes. I felt lousy as numerous times before. I throw the rest of it in a trash and start all over again next day.
I did some arbitrary reading about quiting and don't really remember how I ended up in this forum. I know that article was talking about something like "one of the best online support communities". They couldn't be more right about that
It was my third day when I made my first post here and still doing that. It's amazing. I read a lot of articles and letters in library section as well in order to follow advice of educating oneself.
It's been really heavy at a beginning. Most of the time till now if being honest. But few days ago this heaviness seems to begin losing some of its weight. There is more lightness to it right now. It's exactly how people here on this forum said it'll be. It'll get easier. Didn't believe that at a time although I went through it so many times before
Third week is milestone. I'm really glad for that. In the meantime I need to remain aware because I don't want to slip in the jaws of adiction once again. I don't want to go back there. Never! Right now I have an appointed in downtown. I don't know if one can say that for Ljubljana since it's really small city. Anyway, the thoughts already popped out: you can smoke there. It's different situation, potentially stressful and wasn't done in non-smoking manner before. I now have this in my mind, hold it in consciousness. I'll just go there, do what needs to be done and go back home. That's enough for now. Temptations are still there though...
Aww, look at this. Yet another long post but it's so helpful. Really. I dedicate a lot of time to it right now. I usually don't write in English so much and so often, so that's practice too. Anyway, to make long story short, I'm really happy I found this forum, all of you. It's so helpful and healing to talk to people who've been through the same struggle and came out of it. Thanks again and have a wonderful day, free of desire for smoking
Yay! Fantastic Jaka!
You are right. This is a big milestone and I’m proud of you. So many people come here, post a few days, and then poof! Into the ether they go. So it turns out you are still here and going strong.
I wish you well downtown. You can do this. It is in there inside you and I have a lot of faith in you. Stay in the moment. Breathe. All the things you know. You are very wise and you should trust that part of yourself. This forum has made the difference for so many of us that have been broken by the addiction many times. I am very glad you found it. I found it the same way. Desperate for some support and guidance and looking on Google. Life has a funny way with so many things. Who would think I would be here since February? Not me.
Stay strong today and believe in yourself. When the temptation comes, step back, wave hi, and carry on. You know lots of tricks by now so I don’t need to write them here.
There. I just went out and blew a kiss East to wish you well! Stay on the journey with us as it only gets better from here.
Good night from Portland and Srécno! (With little thing over the C not there. Hopefully this doesn’t make it mean something really bad in your language )
P.S. I think I fixed it! Sure hope so... nope. Once I hit post it disappears.
Thanks Lore. Let me try if it works: Srecno. Even without funny sign on top of c, the meaning is the same. It doesn't turn to some ugly or viscous word
It went fine. I was riding a bicycle and noticed probably every cigarette on the way. Once I need to drive right through the cloud. It definitely comes to my senses but not in way that I need to run and buy some for myself. It's just noticing, as you said, and let go. Wasn't in my mind a lot though. When I saw people smoking, didn't envy them. I consciously try to do it differently, but not feeling sorry for them. I guess that's counterproductive and not very nice since I was in their place not so long ago as was everyone on this forum at some point. I change self talk to something like: May you be free from addiction or free from nicotine suffering. It's more loving than feeling sorry for them which is actually quite selfish in a sense I'm so better than poor smokers over there.
And again thanks to you personally for being so supportive and engaged in various very interesting conversations I think you could be great psychotherapist...
Oh, I’m glad to hear this!
I very much agree with you. I think feeling sorry for those choosing to smoke is not the right feeling to have. It does not feel right to me at least. Yours is much more compassionate. Saying “I feel sorry for you” has a meaning of like you said “I am now better than you”. That is sad for us to feel that way as we of all people should understand that acceptance and compassion is what is helpful, not pity. You see Jaka, you are very wise. I don’t know if I would be good at therapy really. Honestly, I wear my heart on my sleeve maybe far too much. It is easy to do here too as not only is everyone in the same boat, I have the security of being removed. My passion and compassion both have gotten me into trouble. But maybe this is a good idea, since I have a friend in Slovenia now and I want to leave here, we can open a quit smoking clinic there and your wife can translate! All we have to do is turn on the timer app and say “listen to this and you will not smoke”, hahaha! If ONLY that easy!! But...I did talk to my massage therapist yesterday about what it takes to get a job in other countries, etc.
Actually I just wanted to make anti-add for moving to Slovenian or why not to like poor salaries, etc. Then I remembered many stories of people who did that and I that they have something in common ant that's the quality of life they found here. If you put all of it together. So perhaps you should consider it
Anyway, I was really happy and proud to myself earlier this day. But later this anger started to rise and was pretty crancky and agitated with my family. I guess that still has to do with withdrawal somehow. Also my mental energy is still pretty low compared to a time before. And the tension in my face, especially around chicks. That's something I allways connected to smoking, to this nervousness of sucking smoke in. Do you find it familiar? I still feel this pain, like electricity, in my heels and feet area. I guess I want to be over with all those symptoms too quickly. Probably takes more time. Do you remember how long was it for you to really feel out of it if you know what I mean? Not to feel it in a body nor in mind so much. Few months?
Yes...unfortunately I do find a lot of this familiar! You should still be very proud of yourself though Jaka. Three weeks is a huge milestone. I think the time frame is a bit more general and not hard set and we are all different. Like yesterday? I had this day I wrote to Luke and Dan, (and I think you too maybe on that one, but maybe you on mountain lion) How I just felt so “there”. Like I knew it was going to be a good day and all the quit stuff felt so much less. Then, I awoke in the night wanting a smoke really bad! Why? It was unsettling. The feeling passed more quickly, but I felt dismayed that I had it to begin with. And I notice today the really good feeling I had yesterday was not as bright again and it felt so dim. So, I think it is normal for this stuff to ebb and flow. Like the tides maybe. Or how you can have a season like Summer which is supposed to be sunny and bright, but there are still days of rain, right? So yes, few months it was a big difference, but not out of it yet. We spent a very long time training our brains like this Jaka. Teaching it faulty coping skills. Remember the article about teens you sent? We are like this. But we are not stagnate creatures and we continue to grow until we die. So we will grow through this too.
Im not sure about the feeling in your heels? Is that new since quitting? Is it constant? I do know about the tension in the face and catch this through out the day on me. In a lot of my body. So I have been working with my massage therapist. Are you taking some time just for you to nurture your body? With some gentle stretching and such? A hot relaxing bath? I think letting your family know when you are aware of those feelings rising, it may help. It will help them at least to know what is going on even if they can’t fix it. Remember this is your withdrawal experience and they cannot read your mind. Even if they know you quit, it is still good to keep telling them some things you are feeling as they have not had this experience and cannot really relate, so sharing with them is important. They would much rather hear you say it out loud than guess if it is them or not, right? It’s ok to say “I need a little space” or understanding, or patience or support, or whatever it is you need in the moment. It’s ok to just say to them “I’m feeling angry and am not sure why but I know it isn’t you”.
It does take time to heal and recover. You are on a journey and this is part of the process. Be patient with yourself. And you know...it’s ok to laugh at ourselves too! So often I am shaking my head, just asking myself, “what are you doing?” Mostly I don’t have an answer either!
Stay on the journey Jaka. Allow it however much time it needs. Take some time through the day for a few moments of deep breaths even if you cannot take and hour to meditate. A few deep and focused breathes through the day to ground you. You can do this and time will heal you.
I know it's important milestone and I am proud. I like your metaphor of seasons and waves. Tide actually. Yes, it is like that. I have this problem, not only on this particular area but in general, to look at things in very linear way. In this example it's the same and than it my expectations are not being met, I'm easily disappointed. I obviously expected that most of cravings and symptoms will disappear till now. Don't know where did that come from though. Need to practice more patience with myself and others. Especially today because I feel like a volcano
Didn't have time before to finish. About humor. Glad you mentioned it since it is so easy to forget it but it really is important no matter the situation. To lighten up a bit especially when it's on one's own behalf.
What do you mean with mind reading? Of course they can read it Seriously, need to remind myself more often...
Right now I'm out in a rain walking. It's nice and I'll keep going for a while.
Why Jaka! What are you doing in Portland? Did you know I have a volcano about an hour from me? Yes, Mt Hood. There are several here. I live in what is called the Pacific Ring of Fire. Yup! Sin City right in the middle of this! Oh boy. I will laugh about this today. I think DC is wishing one of them would blow and take care of all us no good people. OK...today, I will speak no evil! But I bet I will hear plenty!!
We all are like this. We live with unreasonable expectations of Father Time. It’s ok though as he never has paid attention to us humble humans, I doubt he will start now. Just give this problem to him and you will know one day when it’s done. I have a saying Jaka...”all bleeding stops eventually!” I’m not sure if this translates well. Let me know if you are having horrible thoughts about me and I will explain. Haha.
Oh...your walk in the rain sounds so lovely. It really does.