NOPE for today

Hey Jerthie-

I have been reading your many posts lately. I'm so happy for your efforts since relapsing. Unbelievably, I have remained committed to my abstinence.  I was diagnosed bipolar on 1983 and have been dealing with several severe episodes since then. My addictions (several) are a part of my disorder. I have been on so many different meds that I felt I would never be "normal". But now with the help of a great psychiatrist I've felt pretty good for the past few years.

Like you, I always wanted to be skinny and sexy. Never looking like I wanted to be. I used nicotine to suppress my appetite. This worked until I was about 65 when I had a stroke which landed me in ICU and on life support. I was down to 130 pounds. It took me 3 years to make up my mind to finally quit cigs for good. It's been pretty easy so far with the help of NRT. Now that I am out of the patches and almost done with the lozenges I pray I will stay stopped.

I am proud that I have been smoke-free for 60 days since 2/1. I would say I feel better but depression kicks in periodically. I know that this is going to be the last time I will smoke, God willing, I will never go back to my past addictions, but smoking is another story. I have been sucking on the lozenges and using a product called Onnicotine pouches which are very effective. I know I am taking a chance but I feel that I am on the right road to a chemical free life.

I keep busy, walk 1-3 miles a day and once it warms up I will do water aerobics 3x a week. Maybe more exercise as soon as I feel better. I am very positive. I am actually excited to get out of bed and start my day with a strong cup of coffee (no cigs) and write down my to-do list. What a relief it is not to huff 2 to 3 Marlboros just to begin my day.

Keep on trying Jerthie. I have been  trying to “quit” smoking since I was 18, all lame attempts. Quitting alcohol and pot was a piece of cake compared to smoking. Probably my biggest trigger is boredom when my mind is racing and I get hyper and impulsive (you may know the feeling). I need to relax and let it pass.

Today will be another day without my beloved cigarettes. My cravings are high today but so is my willpower. I wish you the best in your efforts. This day is all we have to remain free, tommorow is another day.

I just don't smoke anymore.

NOPE to all.

Good day,

Andrew

Andrew....

Good for you!  You go on with your bad self!

Bipolar disorder is very challenging to live with.  I know that from firsthand experience.  I think one of the main reasons I still use the lozenges is vanity.  I am so afraid to gain weight.  I hate myself for being so vain.  My new medication caused me to gain more than 10 pounds lol.  I also just ended an unhealthy relationship I was in for the last five years.  And I begin a new job next week.  My mom has had health issues too.  And well... There are now some new men contacting me via online dating.  I live the life of a superficial person lol.  I have always worked in acting, fitness and beauty.  Each of these industries place stress on looking good at all times.  Hence, I rely on the lozenges to help manage my weight.

I think I could have an easier time letting go of them completely if it weren't for the multiple stressors in my life... All at the same time.  But I am a bit of a loser... I can't seem to manage my stress without nicotine lol.  We shall see how the ongoing saga goes!  But I am LOADS happy for your perserverance!  You keep going!  I will keep you and the rest of the crew posted.

Hi Jerthie,

I answered a previous post you send me, but I have a few things to add after I read this one...

I'm a pretty slim person but  did put on some weight when I first quit but that's because I ate too much cake. Then I got my act together and stopped that none-sense, I eat normal healthy diet ( in my case Vegan who eats eggs, and sins with cake once in a while) and the pounds come off again.

From what you wrote sounds like this is the perfect opportunity to quit. You got out of an unhealthy relationship, good ridden, you are starting a new job, and may be dating again soon. 

You can actually manage your stress without nicotine... I promise you. 

Well I am not happy to say that I have been smoking since Monday. All  it took was the stress of an spat with my wife. Nothing major but enough to send me to the convenience store to get a pack.

I don't remember if  I told you before that I had relapsed. But, tonight I am smoking my final cig before my new quit. I was so proud of myself and thought I was on the right track.  And I was.

I will pick back up where I left off, things will be fine, I am going to grind my last 3 cigerettes in the garbage disposal. Good riddence to bad trash.

Andrew

Candrew

Sorry to hear you had a slip, just jump back on that wagon again and kick those butts to the street.  Sad to say but, those little fights can make it all go wrong and I have been guilty of that myself before.  Just be persistent and maybe make a plan for next time that event might happen.........that way, you will already have a plan in front of you instead of running to that store!

Kathy

It is so hard to change that auto reaction - get upset, smoke; feel stressed, smoke; angry, smoke; sad, smoke.  Putting a plan in place ahead of time can be very helpful.  I decided that, when I felt any of those auto triggers - I would gorge on on chocolate covered raisins, or punch out a pillow or get into my car and drive, screaming at whoever or whatever upset me as if they were right there in the car with me.  Looked a bit odd but, that seemed to help keep me away from what I used to do - smoke.

Eventually I learned how to talk myself out of an auto reaction.  I learned to recognize when I was experiencing an auto reaction and I did something completely different then what I used to do (smoke).  I learned to take a few seconds before re-acting and think - I am in control of me, what shall my response to this be.   

It takes time to learn a new behaviour.  Give yourself that extra few seconds to decide how you are going to react to stresses and emotions and leave those auto reactions behind.      

Thanks Kathy -

Day one of my second phase of 2022 Quit Smoking Project.

Last night I pounded down 16 cigs in 9  hours. Trying to consume all of the pack I had bought earlier in the day. 1.77 /hour. It wasn't plesant but I I wanted to finish the pack  before midnight. I  ended up throwing away 4 of them making sure that I could not smoke in case I had  a change of mind. It was a difficult morning, especially with my coffee but I persevered. 

Oh well, I made it through my cravings and stayed busy into the afternoon. Nothing overwhelming, just another day with no cigs.

The only difference since last month is no NRT. I really don't think I need it as long as I remain committed to my goal. My current goal is simply the the next 24 hours. As I become more confident it will be the week, then the month and then the year. It will take awhile but as long as I tell my self that I just don't smoke anymore (NOPE too).

I'll be alright. 

Andrew

Anne

Thank you for your response......I have mostly gotten to where I can stop and think before that knee jerk reaction but, I can only pray that the day does not come that I react without thinking again.  I, for the most part, got to where I would scrub pans or possibly go take a bath.......can't smoke with wet hands!

Candrew

I believe that with only a day slip, you can probably make it through with no NRT........not that the drug does not still need to work out of your system but you do already have some of those daily smoking habits that are no longer habits for now.  

Posting is always a great way since you can't type as fast if you are smoking.  I just keep 2 hands on the keyboards.....or 2 hands scrubbing dishes when I am mad.

Good luck 

Kathy