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To me   Quit Support

Started 4/3/22 by candrew; 6100 views.
Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Jun-5

Strong work Andrew! clapclapclap

How’s it going? I like your new pic! 
 

I love that too; pausing and reflecting on the fact that not smoking is NOT  deprivation. 
There is a lot to be said for learning to sit with our feelings. It’s an art really, and takes practice. In our culture it isn’t easy to do, and feels unnatural and uncomfortable initially. We live is such an over consumeristic culture with deeply ingrained expectations for instant gratification. I’m not sure where along the road it became this way to the extent it is…? I recall my folks as being quite different. They knew the value of waiting for things. Then somewhere along the way our culture in general shifted. Perhaps it has something to do with the advent of instant coffee and microwave ovens joy. The main thing they have taught us is “we can get or make what we want faster!” But is it better? Not in my opinion. Then, along come services such as Amazon! Woohoo! Now we can get our stuff delivered same day!  At the expense of all the small businesses struggling to stay alive and make ends meet of course. But who cares?! We, individually, get what we want now! 
The point I’m trying to make is, that culturally, and subtly, over time, we have become these beings that live on such a superficial and self motivated level in many ways in our day to day lives. It may not appear that these things have had a negative impact on who we’ve become, but they have. They have taught us that the things we want in life are instantly and readily available. I believe our day to day lives have soared to this plane of not really allowing ourselves time to process, to think, to feel. On the surface they are conveniences we view as making our lives simpler and better. Those simplicities come at an overall cost of making us into beings that stay on this plane not really needing to slow down in so many ways and not needing to work that hard to acquire what we think we want or need. All of our thoughts and actions carry over into making us who we are. Living mostly on autopilot, not needing to do much else. So why would we sit with, just sit with, how we feel about things? We have unlearned how to. 
Smoking is a HUGE part of that instant gratification for us, or so we think. It takes a lot to rewire and unlearn those knee jerk responses and reactions to so many things. With nicotine we didn’t have to! Anxious about something? Have a smoke. Ahhh. That’s better! Mad? Have a smoke! That helps. Just get some really good news? Oh boy! Let me have a cigarette! That one really boggles my mind now. But this is what we did. We didn’t even allow ourselves to enjoy those moments without feeling we need to inhale some burning leaves to really top it off. 
Im a believer in when the urge strikes, and for me it occasionally still does, the best thing to do is look at the urge to light up square on and just stare at it for a minute. Think about what is underneath that superficial desire for instant gratification. Feel those things and be with them. Roll with them. Let them flow through. Process. It can be done without a smoke. It just takes allowing ourselves the grace and time and space to do it. 
I feel like these thoughts make sense though came out a bit discombobulated. I’m gonna go sit and think about it more without a smoke. 

Keep rolling! You are doing GREAT!!!

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Jun-5

I love this Anne: “now it’s more like a conversation with myself”.

A conversation we didn’t allow ourselves to have before because we automatically reached for a smoke to deal with or process what we were thinking or feeling. Now we get to really know ourselves without that veil. So great, right?

candrew

From: candrew

Jun-5

Lore-

Excellent post! Discombobulated, not! Your message is clear to me.

Immediacy has become the norm. Today we can get what we want with less effort than before. Amazon, streaming, bill pay, instant communications such as facebook, twitter, texting & email with smart phones in our pockets. Technology has taken over our lives and there is more to come as we progress into an increasingly remote world, disconnected from one another. Work at home, never needing to go to the office, zoom medical care, colonization on distant planets and much more to come.

I've always viewed smoking as a way to isolate because most people don't smoke today. It is all too often our break times at work or home are spent smoking in a designated place. It doesn't matter if it is 40 degrees below zero outside, we still smoke. It doesn't matter if the kids complain about the smell in the car, people distance themselves from us because we stink. Sound familiar? So many examples that I could fill this whole page.

Holding off from getting another fix is deprivation. 

Deprivation implies loss of control. No one wants to admit that they are out of control. That means that we are unable to face up to the fact that smoking is insane. Any addict will tell you they can't help it. Defeat, surrender and reckless behavior to name a few. 

It's so easy to run to the convivence store and pick up a pack of smokes for immediate gratification. I wake up each morning and sit of the edge of my bed, eyes closed and meditate on what I want out of my new day. Smoking dominates my thoughts. Am I going to cave in today? Absolutely not. 

Good day.

Andrew

In reply toRe: msg 74
Douglas8845

From: Douglas8845

Jun-5

Hello fellow quitters,

In 49 days, on July 23, 2022, I will complete my tenth year as a nonsmoker.  I smoked for 36 years, everyday,  28 Marlboro 100's red.

Since quitting I:
Didn't smoke 100,884 cigarettes
Saved $31,677.77
Increased my life expectancy by two years.

Was it hard? The first year was tough.  Being my year of firsts, (first phone call, first coffee, first beer, etc) was pretty tough.  But each time I overcame a first I grew a tiny bit stronger.

I was so happy on my first anniversary, proud of my accomplishment.  My wife and kids were happy and disbelieving, afraid I would relapse.  But I didn't. I won't.

What was fundamental to my quit?  The following:
This group
Allen Carr's "The EasyWay to Quit Smoking"
4 first weeks with the 21 mg patch (I only used it for 28 days)
My quit counter,  that I consulted several times each day.

I never think about smoking, it hasn't been a part of my life for a very long time, I never wish I could have "just one".

Set yourself a date within the next seven days.  On the chosen daytake the step and never look back.  Don't wait for perfect day, it probably won't come.

Wishing everyone here success on this journey.

 

Anne2020

From: Anne2020

Jun-6

I total agree with your.  Get rid of Deprivation and replace it with REWARD !!!

Anne2020

From: Anne2020

Jun-6

It definitely is, you are so right Loreficent.   Mine often start out with 'Are you crazy???',,,lol.

candrew

From: candrew

Jun-7

Crazy? Defined in Webster as mentally deranged and out of one's mind.

I guess I have to admit that I am deranged to think that I can continue the insanity of continued smoking. Starting is one thing, I never thought that I would be smoking this late in life. But low and behold I am definitely out of my mind to think that I can still do it any longer. 

I continue to idolize smoking when I think of the good times with a cigarette. Wonderful conversations with my wife, after a good meal, the first one with a cup of coffee and on and on. 

Now I do the same without a cig. Do I feel deprived? Not really. I pat myself on the back and say, "good job Andrew, you got this one". Lord, help me keep this mindset as I continue my journey to freedom.

Good day,

Andrew

CC to Loreficent
Anne2020

From: Anne2020

Jun-7

Well said.  You do have this one.

Cheers!

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Jun-7

Good morning Andrew!

Ditto what Anne said. Yes you do have this one! It is all yours. Remember, you are already an Ex-smoker or non smoker. You are! And you will stay one as long as you don’t light up!

No matter what the mind says in any given moment of temptation, doubt, reminiscence or veiled memories. As long as you do not go through with the physical act of lightning up, you are not a smoker. Keep them separated. What is in the mind and what the body does are entirely separate. Those “fond” memories are normal and we’ve all had them and still do at times. The mind is a funny thing with memories when addiction is involved. Don’t forget that. You’ve got this. Trust yourself.

Im sorry I’ve not been on for a couple of days to write. Thank you for your previous reply. I loved what you wrote back. I’m in the middle of moving and using my phone temporarily to write instead of my iPad and it’s a bit more challenging with a small screen for me to write. 
 

Hang tough! You are only in one moment at a time. 

Jerthie123

From: Jerthie123

Jun-23

Andrew... You are an inspiration!  Two weeks is amazing!  I am going to steal some of your fire and start a new quit this Saturday. I am just going to take tomorrow, one more day, to prepare myself.  The weird thing is I dread quitting, but part of me also looks forward to quitting!  As long as we stay committed to WANTING to quit. And don't lose hope completely.  We can do this Andrew.  I wish I could say that I too have some quit days under my belt, but hopefully I will by next week.

I try to get excited about thinking and anticipating what a smoke-free life will feel like.  Anyways, good day and keep on keeping on!!!

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