This community is open to all who are recovering from nicotine addiction.
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I sent you a private message - don't know if you got it. Here is a copy of it.
Four months ago. Same mindset, different day.
Thought you would enjoy reading this.
I love this most recent post of yours. You are bang on. By continuing to smoke or use nicotine we are perpetuating the myth that it does something for us... When really it doesn't. Smoking does not make us smarter, kinder, stronger, wiser. Like you said... It just continues to affirm we are addicted. Being addicted to something is not smart nor is it wise or strong. Smokers are addicted to smoking because they believe they are benefitting from it in some twisted way. Like you said Andrew... We just have to go for what we really want. And when we start to do that, we will more than likely hit the bulls eye. Well said Andrew... Well said!
So I ask of you, everyone, what in life is it that you really want? Is smoking getting in the way of you doing the things you need to do to create the life you really want? Do you smoke to procastinate or avoid things you need to do? Do you use smoking as a crutch to deal with a problem or insecurity that you need to finally meet eye to eye with and address? If so, smoking is not helping to take care of any of the above. It further prevents us from going for the lives we want!
I used nicotine lozenges for almost 9 years everyday. Like Andrew said, no different than smoking cigarettes. But I am DONE. I am THROUGH with nicotine... Finally. I am going to finally GO for the life I have always wanted without the crutch or excuse of sucking on nicotine lozenges. Nicotine lozenges helped to give me a certain look and body image that I thought was ideal. Now I will finally eat healthy to get the body I want without using nicotine as an appetite supressant.
I will also start paying attention to other facets in my life... Insecurities and personal problems that i have that have nothing to do with my appearance. Nicotine lozenges and sucking on them served as my security blanket for almost 9 years. I looked a certain way due to my reliance on nicotine lozenges. Now I will go through a period of body changes and mental changes to achieve the life I want WITHOUT using nicotine to always look.... Put together and skinny and cute. If I don't look that way for a while... So be it!!! At least I will be living with more honesty and integrity!!!!
Thank you Andrew once again for reminding us of the big MYTH and LIE that smoking and using nicotine is!!! If we can all continue to hate on nicotine and what it did to us... Rather than hating on ourselves and turning back to it for help.... Then we will all continue to WIN the battle against smoking and using nicotine. Let's continue to hate on nicotine instead of ourselves. And let us finally put nicotine behind us so we can live with honesty and integrity towards the lives we want and we deserve!!!! God bless everyone.
You wrote me a few weeks ago
I'm glad you are updating.
I will lend you my advice from my experience. I know that some people here found the lozenges helpful, so I cannot speak for everyone, but in my personal experience and the scientific viewpoint, weening yourself by using lozenges is just prolonging the withdrawal and can be torturous because you are starving your brain bit by bit instead of just cutting off the supply and start the healing and do the withdraw at once instead of suffering withdrawal over weeks. Statistical evidence show that the patches/lozenges/pouches are not very successful at helping people to stop smoking, let alone getting them off nicotine.
It's like telling an alcoholic to gradually drink less vodka every day until they ween off of alcohol. No difference.
My advice would be just cut it off.
This was my response to the above post from you regarding the use of pouches to wean my addiction. Thanks for the wisdom.
You are right. I am only prolonging the inevitable. The final word in this whole process is accepting the fact that there is no other effective way to tackle this except to eliminate the nicotine 100% from my life. I have always known this to be the truth. It was the same with my dependence to alcohol some 5 years ago. "Half measures avail us nothing" as they say in AA.
I wish there was an easier way to do it, but why torture myself any longer? Either make up my mind to X smoking (per your screen name Xvaper) or be prepared to continue on as if I don't care. Well, I do care, and I won't allow myself to give up.
All the physical consequences are easy to accept but the mind games that us addicts play are lifelong challenges that can't be ignored even for the most disciplined.
Again, I will pick a new date to stop all use of nicotine. That will be a commitment that I must make. No more excuses Andrew. Just do it and feel good about it.
There is no better time than the present.
This a post that I sent as a private message to you recently, I don't know if you got it so I am reposting. It was a thank you for hosting the site.
I have been meaning to reach out to you for quite some time. I've enjoyed your many posts on this site and I really appreciate folks like yourself who are committed to others who are fighting for their freedom from smoking. I have been at war with my addiction to nicotine most of my adult life. It's been a long time coming, having tried numerous methods to quit only to surrender in the short term to my addiction. I have fought and won over other serious addictive maladies but by far this has been my biggest challenge. I am currently smoke free for only two months but know in my heart that this is my time to finally end the insanity. I've been visiting Delphi for over two years, but not until the past few weeks do I feel that I have a solid chance to truly eliminate cigarettes from my life.
I really enjoy reading and posting here. I not only benefit from everybody's stories but really love to share mine too. I gain strength in offering support and encouragement to my friends on this site. It is important to know that there are people who understand.
I am grateful for people like yourself who care about others enough to spend time and energy to help. Benevolence is so rare today in our society that seems to have lost the way to enlightenment of the soul. What happened? Nobody seems to care about their fellow man anymore. You are about others. That is an admirable trait because you touch people in a wonderful way with your conversations. Thank you from all of us.
I too care about others and lately have been pumping people up with supportive and positive replies. Getting lots of great feedback for my efforts. You know what I mean. It makes me feel good to help and keeps me grounded in my journey to freedom.
Looking forward to reading your insights and affirmations in the future.
My latest is “Dance with this gift called life”.
Thank you for cheering me up this morning with this post which is still the way I feel... Though I am not near anywhere close to quitting the lozenges. I am just being honest. I don't like that I am using them. But I still like using them. It is complicated, I'm afraid. I hope to get back to this mindset! For now, I check in on here to gain wisdom and strength from those who have had success quitting. You are doing really well Andrew. I commend you on your efforts and progress! Keep it up!!!
Good morning Andrew,
Wow, the only dog you’ve had. Of course you are still grieving! It’s a huge loss. He sounds like a super fun dog. Glad you’re not filling the void with a smoke. It changes nothing. At this point you would have regret on top of grief if you were to smoke.
That’s a lot of musical talent Andrew! Amazing! What a fabulous way to fill a void, not only from not smoking, but, with anything really. And also to celebrate life! One of the beautiful things about getting older is, who really cares what others think about you dancing wherever you feel inclined? There’s some old saying, not sure if I remember it verbatim, but it goes something like:
Sing as though no one is listening, dance like no one is watching, love like you’ve never been hurt.
I love it. It’s been attributed to Mark Twain and Satchel Paige, and others. I’ve also seen it attributed to a Buddhist saying. Not sure if it is really known who coined it, but it’s still good advice and a very lovely way to live. Speaks to being in the moment and that each moment is new.
Hope your day is great Andrew! How did the tile project go?
I feel your helplessness. You can't seem to break loose from the addiction. Not even for a day.
Your statement about lozenges: "I don't like that I am using them. But I still like using them." is what Allen Carr calls conflict of wills and he further says that willpower alone. does not work for quitting smoking (lozenges n your case). He illustrates the myths that we believe and that keep us using. The book goes beyond the "I need to quit mode" and explores the lies and deception that we tell ourselves which keep us smoking. I got a lot from his book it is well worth reading.
It would drive me crazy negotiating each day when I was going to use the lozenges. when I wasn't and if I did use the mental anguish would be unbearable.
I'm a black and white guy meaning it's either on or off. There is no middle ground. If I am going to quit smoking, I will not smoke at all unless I relapse in which case, I won't go back to quit mode until I am prepared to fully quit. That may be days or weeks out, but it is a promise that I make to myself. I hate breaking promises, especially to myself.
Stay honest, even if may be embarrassing and self-loathing. You are only human and need to lighten up on yourself. I say, you will get it when you are ready. Believe me it took decades for me to wakeup.
Thanks Andrew. On my break at work but wanted to share with all of you some lyrics which are helping me reduce my lozenges intake.
I am talking to the lozenges:
Oh simple thing,
Where have you gone?
I'm getting tired and I need something to lean on...
Oh tell me when
You'll let me go...
I don't know how much longer I can go on...
Without you, I may be blue
But perhaps that is already how I feel about you
Sorry peeps gotta cut this short I gotta get back to work.
work, work, work
when do you play?
the lozenges will never let you go unless you let them go
let go, let God
ask for help and you will overcome
Oh Andrew- work is my play! I am catching up on making too many bad turns in my life! Having bipolar disorder, I was hospitalized in my 20s and 30s. I never married, had many broken relationships, got let go of various jobs, never owned a home lol, etc. It sounds like I am throwing a pity party, but I no longer regret the life I lived the way I used to! But now... On the right medication, I am stabilizing and working towards a position in Cosmetics management. And to be a Cosmetics manager, I need to put in the work!
But I do hear you Andrew. Play is necessary too! Hopping on this forum is my playtime! I am feeling excited tonight! Whenever I would spend time in hospital, I would hang out in the smoking lounge... Smoke with other patients and watch trash TV. I remember there was literally a grey cloud in that little room. No ventilation and just a bunch of us commiserating and romanticizing our mental health. This was all through 1996-2006.
Now I am working on my mental health. I used to write tonnes of poetry. So those lyrics are about cigarettes. The cigarette is the "simple thing" I would always lean on. Oh simple thing, where have you gone? I'm getting tired.. I need something to lean on. It might sound like I am romancing the cigarette and I know I am, but melancholy is helping me! It's me and my "weird luck."
I will play here Andrew... And write another lyric for you all to see how I am coping with my quit. This is spontaneous now.
Oh tell me when...
I will let go...
I'm getting tired of this show...
I call my life...
But no one really knows..
How I rely on you...
My life is a show...
Til tomorrow! I reduced by 2 today. Night all.