Wanted to get back to you all before heading out into near zero temps. Beginning day three so far three well timed pieces of 4 mg nic gum and a half of smoke I came across in one of my toolboxes. I began walking a few miles everyday four years ago when my Back Surgeon told me walking is the best thing I can do to make my be the best it can be. Up to this point most days I have had to force myself to put on my boots and get moving. The walking and stretching relieves some of my severe neuropathy.  I began feeding a colony  of woodland mallard ducks that stay  at a nearby nature preserve to give me more incentive to get moving.  They count on on me. They help motivate me  especially on days like this.  It's like the arctic I hate winter I found by previous credible attempts to end the madness, not changing to much of my usual routines works best for me. I was tested in big way yesterday, while walking, I came across a half pack of smokes someone dropped. First impulse was, well you know what it was, I flattened them under my boot instead.   I googled a search  yesterday's with cigarettes lies. You might gather some momentum after you read what I did. As if it's not hard enough to kick the habit, the greedy bastards spend millions figuring new ways to make it harder in order to strengthen profits and hook new smokers to replace the constant flow of smokers killed. Gotta go stay on track Mike

Go Mike!

Hearing about your wild woodland ducks and your motivation to get out in the subzero and move => so inspiring.  Thank you for sharing!  And wow, what are the odds you'd see a half pack of smokes on the walk and you CRUSHED them.  Brilliant!!!  

Have an awesome day everybody!

Day three is the most important day of all.  Its the day you establish to yourself that you are serious, determined and you are not backing down.   Most of the nicotine is out of your system.  You have quite smoking.  After today, you must maintain the status quo by not smoking.  Not one puff, ever.  Every day that passes without smoking brings you closer to the quiet serenity of a smoke free lifestyle.   One day at a time, you change back to the person you actually are and shed the addicted smoking slave you used to be.  Freedom is yours.   Breath deeply and feel strong.

Hi, yours, and everyone else's words  helped played a part one not buying a pack today. A Drs office called me with results from biopsies. They  have cultured two germs  with moderate growth from samples taken on cysts on my left jaw. There are more cysts on that side of my head and neck more on the right side of jaw, corners of lips, behind ears, in front of ears right over temples of head. Dr.s Staff said he is sending results to my Infectious disease Dr. who referred me to him for the biopsy. His Staff said, he feels, considering my history IV Antibiotics should be given and is deferring to infectious disease.  I honestly don't know if I make it through more ABX especially IV ABX like the ones given four years ago when the deep neck infection started with the spinal bone infection after an epidural. Drug resistant fungal infection was just recently cultured again by the Infectious disease Dr.  More Abx will no doubt worsen the nasty fungal infection that developed as a result of all the previous IV and Oral ABX. I called my back surgeon and left a message asking if he has any input considering, the bone infection on my back can come back anytime including years later even when no known infections are present.  The recent biopsy was taken from bumps that turn out to be cysts have been there for years since the epidural. I have urgent msgs still unanswered to all my Dr.s. I called back to the Dermatologist s Office with a question I thought of, being is cancer negative? She said biopsy results are not in..I said your office just called stating the culture results. She  biopsy results take two to four weeks. I said it was my understanding it was the culture results could take two to four weeks not the biopsy looking for cancer.  Anyway remember I said I could think of ten reasons to delay quitting In short order,But I can also think of couple reasons why buying a pack now, is not what I should do.  Mainly because I  very badly want to live, even more so now.  My Dad never smoked again after his stage 4 lung cancer was diagnosed. He kept an unopened pack near his bed. His passing was not without leaving a significant mark in many ways.. He showed that anyone can quit, if they want to, bad enough. I'm not giving up on hopes of living very much longer, but don't believe I have much longer, quitting or not based on the facts.For now, at least I will go to bed tonight an ex smoker and hopefully remain one tomorrow.I believe we put much work cultivating  nurturing, and protecting our smoking and that is why it will take at least an equal amount, probably more, to fully say goodbye for good. I have had the crazy smoking dreams, the tiredness after quitting too.  I learned when I asked the Lord's help twenty years ago, to help me quit drinking, that I'm an alcoholic, and always an alcoholic, even though I haven't drank in twenty years.  There is a thing called a dry drunk that is someone that is just as miserable as a drinking drunk, maybe even more. The key is not thinking about how badly we miss it, but how great it is without it. The same holds true with cigarettes. I absolutely know the urges DO start fading within a month for me and when the urges do inevitably come they get easier to squash.

 Just got a msg more results are in. God Bless stay on track. Mike

Well, I’m a bit speechless. Wow!! I’m so sorry for all your bad news!! What a horrible day in so many ways. It’s beyond impressive you stuck with your decision to go to sleep a non-smoker. So many good things will come of keeping your quit. All the positives we can think of for losing it really are lies. I love that you looked up the lies while craving. I definitely need to remember to do that on those occasions I think maybe I’d like to be a smoker again. I definitely don’t want to be a smoker. ‍??

I really hope you get some responses from your doctors tomorrow and perhaps a little bit of hope from somewhere. 

It sounds like your dad did an amazing job of setting an example. I’m in awe of people who quit even when they’re surrounded by cigarettes. Either an unopened pack or people around them still smoking. I guess it really demands that strong determination from the get go? 

I can’t resist saying, you really crushed it when you passed up the temptation of that half pack! I crack myself up. I can’t help up. But seriously, that took some strength!  You’re doing awesome!! I hope a 4th day of being a non smoker brings you feeling even better about your quit as you end your day.

Jenny

Erika, yay for 30 days!!  

Did you choose anything fun to reward yourself with? My 1 month is coming up on the 4th and I haven’t thought of anything yet. Years ago, I bought myself a small cat statue every month and now have a garden of cat statues, lol. I’m thinking maybe a dinner out would be nice this time. 

I hear ya on the quits where you always looked for a chance to cheat. Doesn’t work so well that way. The anxiety of waiting for that cheat moment kinda takes away from the freedom, I think. I had to make really sure I didn’t have any half smoked cigarettes that had fallen down in my greenhouse to be sure I wouldn’t be constantly wondering if I could find one there to cheat with.

I’m so happy to hear this site has made a difference for you. I know it has for me in so many ways. I’m so grateful for the quitters who went before us that stay here to support us as we struggle and celebrate us as we win. 
 

Here’s to a fabulous February and one step closer to that fruit platter at a tropical resort. I think I may need to get a beach umbrella and lawn chair to create the appearance of that on my back porch. Maybe borrow some puppies for a few hours.  

Again, congrats!

Jenny

Mike... I am so sorry to hear about your sufferings, but I am so impressed that in light of all your difficulties, you remain smoke free. That shows character and determination! I encourage you to keep on keeping on as a non smoker. Take each day as it comes, stick to this forum and pray often. Hopefully, all your test results will come out positive! Praying for you!!

Jenny and Erika... Congratulations on hitting one month smoke free! And Jenny you are only three days away from that first milestone. Yes, definitely celebrate your win! Dinner out sounds fun! Erika, how do you plan to reward yourself after all your hard work?

Hey Hey Jenny and Jerthie!  

I like the idea of a virtual fruit platter party at Jenny's Wellness Retreat!   Cheers! 

I did get a three month reward for myself already . . . first week of April I am gonna go see Hamilton.  A random single ticket popped up for not too much money so I jumped on it.  Now I have to earn that prize!  Not One Puff Ever.  

Hope you are having a fabulous week.  

Sounds fabulous Erika! You are doing so well! Sadly, I have increased instead of decreasing my lozenge consumption. I have went from 6 a day to 7 or 8 a day. It's still better than when I was using 12-13 a day... I remind myself of that. But it is not how I thought my January would be! I was in high hopes and determination to take it down to 5 lozenges for January. It seems that my vanity is getting in the way of my plans to quit. The new medication I am on induces appetite. As a result I am almost always hungry, even after eating. Oh well... I will just have to pull up my socks! Good night everyone!