Hi Anne

Thank you for your positive words, I have yet to know if the damage done to my lungs is reversable or at best manageable but maintain my optimism. To all the younger smokers out there, choosing to quit is the best and bravest thing you have ever done, a big high five to you all. In Australia, where I live, successive governments have been putting the price of cigarettes and RYO tobacco up for many years to combat smoking, a 25g pack of the cheapest RYO tobacco currently costs $55.00 AU and will be increasing in the coming months. I smoked between 3 and 4 packets of this garbage a week so now I save around $160-$220 a week, over the course of a year I am saving thousands, meat is expensive here but I can now afford the luxury of cooking a steak eating more healthier foods or buying myself little treats like a nice pair of pants or a shirt, something I did not have the luxury to do before because my time was consumed budgeting for tobacco.

You are so right.  Wasted a lot of time and money.   Time I could have been playing with my children, getting more work done, visiting with relatives (mom and dad) etc.  In the three years I have been quit, I have saved over $10,000. 

I just imagine all the money I could have spent on my life instead of investing so heavily into my death.  

Smoking is a total loss and not just to me.  My family and friends lost out on my time and attention too. 

Kind of makes me angry to have fallen into the trap and not getting out a whole lot sooner in my life.  

Cheers.

Agree with you both on this one.  I was pretty angry that I kept "falling into the trap" for all those years.  I was killing myself under the illusion that I was denying myself something pleasurable when trying to quit.  Finding a place to smoke, is there a place to smoke where I am going, do I have enough for the day, when should I sneak out for a smoke, etc.  Looking back, it is just so ridiculous.  

I was reading your post regarding relapses and how debilitating they are to trying to quit again.   I think you have something there.  Seems to me that all the new brainwashing you have given yourself to quit no longer has power if you relapse. 

Once you relinquish the power you get from quitting smoking, how are you ever going to convince your mind to regain that I Quit power. 

Smoking is more than a physical addiction.  If it was just physical, we could all be over it in a few days.  Quitting smoking is hugely psychological.  When you relapse, your quit psychology takes a real beating.  I think that's why it is so tough to get back to the quitter status you once had.

Better not to even go there.

NOPE, not doin that.  NOPE... NOPE... NOPE...       

This is so true. Im feeling so ashamed at myself and mentally defeated since I ignored the NOPE guideline and started back after almost 2 months of quitting. Today, I'm attempting the quit again although I'm not in the mindset to do so....why is that?? But I'm going to trugg onward anyway trying my best bracing for the hardest part when I have to be around a spouse that smokes let alone can't go a week without getting beerdrunk. I just want to take care of me, make me whole again and feeling good, health wise and mental wise. I was achieving that for those 2 months when I quit, plus I was away from my spouse so I believe this also helped. Now that I've stumbled and caved, and we're not able to be apart, I have to develope and implement a different type of quit. I'm just not in the right frame of mind to start this today...maybe because last night he came home drunk again and I'm always bummed out the next morning. I'm still going to try. 

You have the right attitude and you know you want to do this.   Remember that you are doing this for you, not for anyone else.  This is all for you.  Sometimes it helps to remember how selfish you are being, to quit smoking without anyone else permission notwithstanding anything any one else does or says.  Sometimes it helps to feel a bit superior over those who disappoint and annoy us with their not so pleasant habits.  To feel like you are getting one over on the irritating lifestyle around you by stepping out of the norm and into a new non-smoking lifestyle.

Take yourself out of your box and step into your new non-smoking lifestyle.  It will take effort to stay the course, but just keep remembering, you are above all that.

Stay with us.  We are here for you.  You can and will do this because, you want to.

Cheers!!!     

Hey Karen... Anne is so right. You are above all of that irritation. But I do sympathize with what you are going through. It sounds very stressful. Do you remember anything you did the last time you quit, that brought you success? Perhaps implement that again when you are ready. I struggle with trying to get off of nicotine lozenges. I have actually increased my intake from 6 a day to 12 a day. I want to make a clean quit, but am too afraid to. I think you are going to be okay. You sound like a survivor. And in time when you are ready, you will succeed at quitting. Praying for you and wishing you all the best! You may think you are done, but the fact that you have opened up and asked for help on this forum shows that you are still here wanting to quit. Let that give you hope and light.

Your post is very inspiring.  Thank you.  You are so right.  Just when you think you are done, asking for help is  a sign that you haven't given up entirely.  There is hope.

Thanks Anne. I'm happy to give any type of support I can, especially while my struggle is ongoing. I have had 17 lozenges today. I feel hopeless, but I too know that if I'm still here on this forum, I do have even just a thread of hope to cut back again.

Hi Karen,

Coming to this forum and asking for help is a good step.  One mantra I have seen on this forum several times is to never quit quitting.  When you are dealing with stress, it makes it much more difficult to be in the right mindset.  For many of us, smoking was our "friend."  The thing we could turn to when things were bad for comfort.  Getting out of that mindset is really difficult no matter what is happening.  Learning how to cope with difficult situations without smoking is something all of us had to relearn.  

There are groups such as smoking anonymous, etc. that may also be helpful.  If you are dealing with an alcoholic spouse, you may also want to look into Alanon meetings.  I am not a counselor, but starting there may give you some tools to put you in a better mindset.  Quitting smoking is a journey of learning about ourselves and how we overcome addiction.  Everyone's journey is different and has its own battles.  We just have to keep fighting!