Jerthie,

I’m so sorry to hear you’re facing a decision with your boyfriend. That has to be super stressful and adding to all sorts of symptoms for you right now. I just want to send a quick message to send you a hug and support. Whatever you decide, you’re going to be good!! I hope dinner tonight goes as smoothly as it can. Please let us know how you’re doing.

Jenny

Thanks Jenny. We had our talk and we are still in each other's lives as friends. It's harder on him because he still has romantic feelings for me. I do have feelings for him still too, but it's complicated, as matters of the heart are. Will keep you all updated. God bless 

Hi Jenny, 

Your wedding sounds wonderful !  How cool you got to see Jewel and you were not super uncomfortable sitting in the chair there because of your spinal shot.   I have a couple early Jewel CDs. I would not like being around people who are smoking.

Yay, your daughter called.  Hopefully she can have more availability than she anticipates when you go visit next month.  

Some woman from a company I called  made me mad and I got a huge involuntary craving for a cig.   I hate that.  I know one puff would lead me back to full on smoking and I absolutely refuse to allow that to happen.   I like being a nonsmoker and I choose not to smoke.

I am still feeling very lousy from my stomach illness flare.  I have been watching a lot of baseball.  I have a lot of dishes to work on washing  on and off tonight . Everything is a struggle right now.  

I hope you are doing well.

                               Lisa 

Lisa,

Jewel was really fun! It was a very different kind of concert. She was taking requests from the audience and singing songs she’d never performed before. She had one she actually said she may forget the words to, then had to stop, hum a little bit to remember and start over. She made it all the way through that time. It was a song she’d never performed about being a single mom. She said she has hundreds of songs she’s written and never done anything with. 
The whole things was very cool and different from any kind of concert I’ve ever been to. I think my husband might still have a crush on her from the 90’s.  

Ugh. I hate the angry smoke craves. Good on you for getting past it. I still feel bad that I get craves, but try to accept that it’s normal. Do you feel weird about still getting them? I know it’s ok and normal and it would be weird if I didn’t, yet something in me says I shouldn’t be and I feel guilty or something. 
I was getting into my car today and saw a neighbor sitting outside smoking. The thought occurred to me that I could go sit with him and have one. No emotion behind it this time, which is unusual. Just thought it would be nice, apparently. My brain malfunctions sometimes. Thankfully I know it’s like that and tell it to shut up until it’s working better.

Your stomach illness (I’ve forgotten the name, so we’ll call it that?) has to be so hard when it flares up. I wish medical science was further along in figuring out so many things. Is there anything that helps, or are you just stuck waiting it out until it calms down?

Jenny

Happy 9 months Jenny!  May your day be merry and bright!

My anniversary AND Christmas?? No? I’ll take Merry and Bright for my anniversary! Thank you so much!! 3/4 of a year! Yay!!!

I hope you have a happy new day!!

Congrats on 9 months Jenny !!!  You are doing great !!

My stomach seems to be trying to get better .  It will go back and forth for a while before normalizing.   I have had an appetite the last few days instead of forcing myself to get enough calories but still get nausea .

You had asked if it feels weird to me to still get cravings even though we know it is normal.  I actually get annoyed by cravings these days.  I don't give them any power over me.   I absolutely refuse to go back to being a smoker. NOPE !!   

What have you been up to lately?  Did you try the cross stitch ?  I am tired of the diamond painting atm  so I dug out my Fall Adult coloring book .  I love Fall and wish it was a much longer season.

The baseball playoffs start tomorrow.  I will be watching 2 teams that are not playing each other.  Of course my Dodgers,  but also the Phillies .  The wild card games went  quick , all 4 completed in 2 days.

              Lisa 

Thanks, Lisa! Happy 8 months to you!! That stomach thing sounds absolutely miserable. Nausea all by itself sucks so much and you have all the other things, too! Are you able to take medication for at least the nausea? Zofran has helped me a lot with that in the past. I really hope you get feeling a lot better  it sounds good that things are starting to get maybe get better a little bit? Do you have to eat certain foods?

I had 2 smoking dreams in the past couple weeks. After not having any in such a long time, it was weird. And scary. I don’t remember them clearly now, but it was like I made a decision to throw my quit away. I thought about it and decided to smoke. Definitely scary. It really is just that fragile of a thing. One small decision and I’d be right back where I was. I won’t go there again. NOPE!!

I haven’t gotten out the cross stitch yet. I don’t know what I was doing before a week ago, but this past week has been consumed by me being sick. I jinxed myself by saying I’d been more sick the last 2 times I had colds than when I had Covid. Apparently Covid heard me and decided to try to compete with those colds, lol. It hasn’t been super bad, but definitely up there with the bad colds and it’s lingering longer than I think it should. I had a few days that were really bad, then it’s improved, so I’m not worried at all. It’s just taking it’s sweet time to actually leave. Couple more days and it will be gone, I’m sure. I’ll just whine and complain in the meantime. I hate colds, flus, any bugs.

I’m sure I’ve been doing other things. Well, I’m scheduled for an MRI. Turns out that spinal stimulator is a bigger deal than I realized. I talked with my primary care doctor about it and she wants to make sure there isn’t something else going on with my spine that might be easily fixed with a small surgery. Might be preferable. The whole thing is getting to be too much at times and wearing my nerves down. Pun intended. Haha. 

I got out my Halloween shirt today. It has an outline of a black cat face and a Skeleton hand points at it’s nose with the word “boop” above it. Hard to describe, lol. I love it. I don’t have many holiday shirts, but was excited to get this one. I guess it’s my “fall” shirt? Only good for one month in fall. 

You’re making me want to watch baseball! I forget what the wild card things you mentioned work. I do remember there’s 9 innings, though. Very proud of myself, yes. I also remember 3 strikes you’re out… yep, I’m a pro. 

Jenny
 

Congratulations Lisa and Jenny!!!

Hi Jenny,  

Sorry you have Covid.  Stupid Covid.  I hope you get much better soon.  I hate being sick too and even a common cold kicks my butt and lingers too long, probably because of my other health issues.

Yes, you should definitely have a MRI before a spinal stimulator.  A second opinion can help too.  So the last spinal shot didn't help enough ? 

Well my stomach is not happy .  It fooled me again in thinking things were turning around.  I do have 2 nausea meds but as I have gotten older I am more sensitive to some of the normal side effects  , so I am more selective than in the past as to how quickly I am willing to take them.  I use to take them at the slightest first sign of nausea.  There are meds for gastroparesis but are dismal in their effectiveness and have not great side effect profiles.  One has a black box warning because it can cause irreversible involuntary movement disorders.  No thank you !!  There are folks that have gastroparesis 365 days each year instead of flares and folks that have to have tube feedings.  I consider myself lucky to not be one of those people so far and knock on wood.

Your Halloween shirt sounds cute.  I don't have any Halloween/fall clothes but I have some Halloween decorations scattered about the house.  A lot of people in my neighborhood have elaborate outdoor Halloween decorations that I get to admire. 

They actually have changed a few baseball game rules this year which I think are stupid .  Leave it alone . My Dad played baseball growing up. I started watching baseball with my Dad when I was a kid.  My son played baseball from 5 years old (T-ball) thru High School.  I saved his first glove.  It is small and adorable.

Do your animals snuggle with you more when you are sick? Fur babies seem to know when their lovings are needed even more.  The chocolate lab I had years ago was super in tune with sickness and emotions of the humans.  He would get upset when the baby would cry and as you know babies cry a lot !

                        Lisa