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David_Z's Quit Journal   Quit Stories and Journals

Started 8/26/15 by Terry (abquitsmking); 2142 views.
Terry (abquitsmking)
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From: Terry (abquitsmking)

8/26/15

January 3, 2013 11:33 pm
I was really inspired by some of other quit journals I have been reading, so I decided to start my own.   Hopefully keeping a journal will help me in my resolve to never, ever have another cigarette.
 
I will start with my reasons for quitting:
 
1.  I don't want my wife and daughter (Sofie, 9) to ever have to watch me die a premature death from a smoking related illness.   I know my daughter needs a father and I want to be here for her.   And, I don't want to die a painful, premature death or have to go through a period of my life with a severe breathing disability.
 
2.  My relationship with my wife is just better when I am not smoking.   This wasn't on my list when I quit last week, but I've noticed that the relationship is better.  I haven't said anything about quitting, I just haven't smoked.   Maybe I smell better?   I made a promise to my wife that  I would quit smoking before we got married 15 years ago.   Smoking is an ongoing broken promise for me.
 
3.  I don't like the feeling that people are looking down on me because I smoke.   Smoking screams, "HEY, LOOK AT ME, I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER MYSELF."    I try to find hideouts for smoking but invariably I'm found out.    I am tired of losing respect from others because of my addiction to nicotine.   "Oh, I didn't realize you smoke?   You know those things'll kill ya."  "Yeah, I know.  I am an effing moron.  Thanks"
 
4.  I do not want to explain my smoking to my daughter.   I quit when my daughter was born and then started again when she was 2.   She is 9 now and I am careful to never smoke in front of her.   As far as I know, she has never seen me smoke.   I sneak out at opportune times to take a few puffs when I am home and she is watching TV or distracted.   Its a stupid game and its also maintains a level of dishonesty that disgusts me.   At some point very soon she is going to figure it out and I do not want her to have a father who smokes.
 
5.    I want to have more stamina for exercise.   I love to run, swim, and bike and would like to train to do a mini triathlon.   Even as late as a year ago I was swimming a few miles a week (and still smoking).   But over the past year, I have been exercising less and just feel I have less stamina than ever before in my life. 
 
6.   I don't want to go through another winter standing out in the rain.   Its the rainy season in the San Francisco bay area where I live.  
 
7.   I want my non-raspy voice back without coughing or wheezing.   I tend to smoke a lot during the week and then not as much on the weekend.    By Friday, my voice is noticeably affected and sometimes by the end of the week, in the evening I have a hard time clearing my throat.  I don't want to experience that anymore. 
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Terry (abquitsmking)
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From: Terry (abquitsmking)

8/26/15

January 6, 2013 1:13 am
David, not sure I met u yet but congrads on ur quit and welcome  as for my journal that baby in pieces all over here lol  been through  so much  Like jeff  reading ur post now and I think/ know u got this !!!!!! keep kicking butt ur non smoking friend Laura
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Terry (abquitsmking)
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From: Terry (abquitsmking)

8/26/15

January 8, 2013 9:32 am
Hi David,
 
I'm sorry to hear that you had a tough day, but I am so proud of you for pulling through it!  In the beginning, it is very common to feel a bit sad, deflated, or even helpless when you can't go out and have that smoke during the times you are used to having it.  It does take some getting used to as far as habits and routines, and it also takes time to change your mindset enough to know that the cigarette didn't actually help you at all in those situations--it took me a really long time to get this, but now I have it, and don't miss the cigs a bit.
 
Just keep hanging in there, taking it one day at a time...it will get easier and you will be grateful that you put the work in--I can promise you that :-D
 
xx Irene xx

nov_to_remember_2012_2
*Quit smoking 2 November 2012*
Irene The Non-Smoking Bean: My Quit Journal


 
Anime shooting star with faceAnime shooting star with face
May the horse be with you....
 
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Terry (abquitsmking)
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From: Terry (abquitsmking)

8/26/15

January 14, 2013 1:34 pm
Great job on your journal David.  It is a pleasure to read.  The writing is fluid and succint.  You describe the various challenging situations clearly and precisely.  Your self analysis is excellent.
 
I smoked 28 Marlboro reds for over 30 years.  In 9 days I will have closed out my 6th month smoke-free and will begin my seventh month.  It hasn't been easy but it does get better. Even now I occasionally long for a cigarette.  One of the things that keeps me on track is knowing what my reaction to lighting up will be: extreme remorse, disappointment with myself, despair at maybe not being able to quit again just to name some of the emotions I will experience.
 
I am very happy that I no longer smoke, I am proud of myself for having made it this far, and I thank this forum for being here.
 
Keep posting in your journal.

     1star3c.gif1star3c.gif1star3c.gif1star3c.gif1star3c.gif         Douglas
 
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Terry (abquitsmking)
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From: Terry (abquitsmking)

8/26/15

January 23, 2013 3:02 am
Day 27
 
I am feeling confident enough in my quit to tell people at work (other than the smokers) who know that I smoke that I have quit smoking.  
 
Generally, I have found people to not be that supportive.    But that's ok, I am not telling them because I want their support.   I am just sharing what is on my mind and what's real for me in the moment.
 
I got so sleepy this afternoon I had to go to my car and take a 20 min nap.   I am not sure what came over me.   I think I did not sleep well last night and I better wrap this up soon so I can get to bed.   
 
Also, the last couple of days, I have felt a funny feeling in my throat and soft palate, a little bit of a sore feeling that goes away after an hour or two.   I used to get that feeling when I would smoke too much.    Like the soft tissue was burned a little.    Not sure what is causing that.
  
Sometimes when I was smoking I would get a pain in my neck just to the side of my larynx.   It felt like a sore muscle and would often lead to a headache.  I would make the headache stop by pressing against the sore spot on my neck with my finger.   I don't know if that was from coughing or from the hot smoke, but it always stressed me out a bit.   I have not had that feeling since I quit smoking.
 
I wish I would have started a journal before I quit smoking so that I could catalog all the weird and scary aches and pains that I would get.
 
David  
 
 
 
Smoked last cigarette: Dec-26-2012, 1:00AM PST  
 
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Terry (abquitsmking)
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From: Terry (abquitsmking)

8/26/15

January 29, 2013 8:24 am
David - well, a brilliant job on your reasons for quitting.  Yes, us smokers are self-absorbed jerks, aren't we?  It's the addict in us...
 
Hope you're doing well!  I haven't caught up on your journal in a few days....
 
Frank

Frank                                Quit 2/02/12           

                                        Frank's Quit Journal                

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                  ~ R.I.P.  Carol, Mary, Nita ~                     

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Terry (abquitsmking)
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From: Terry (abquitsmking)

8/26/15

February 6, 2013 11:07 am
Hi David,
 
Yay on day 42.  I remember from my earlier time here that once you leave the weekly milestones and move into the monthly milestones that time does seem to drag a bit.  But time dragging has nothing on the progress, slow and steady that you are racking up. 
 
I have found that exercise is also helping me quite a bit.  I seem to have excess energy that needs to go somewhere, and that helps.  It is also helping me to relax.  As a perpetual antsy person, who is a champion at fidgetting, I just had to do something!!  As I was already doing jazzercise, I have started to add walking the pups and going to the gym to my schedule.  It really helps. 
 
You sound like you are feeling so good!  It is nice to hear. 
Michelle
 
Switched my seat assignment to the non smoking section on January 07, 2013
 
marchingband.gif photo marchingband.gif photo marchingband.gif photo marchingband.gif photo
  
I want LIFE to take my breath away, not smoking!!
 
And remember, if you can't breathe, then nothing else matters
 
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Terry (abquitsmking)
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From: Terry (abquitsmking)

8/26/15

February 13, 2013 3:15 am
Hi Irene,
 
Thanks for your post.   You know, about the work thing, since I had to hide my smoking at home, I liked being at work because I could smoke as much as I wanted or could handle.   And then I would drink coffee all day.   I really think the caffeine and the nicotine were my primary source of job satisfaction.   I think more satisfaction is possible from the job, but drug induced happiness replaced much of my authentic sense of satisfaction.
 
Stay strong!
 
David
 
 
 
December Enders '12
My first post:  105375.251
My reasons for quitting:  105851.1
Smoked last cigarette: Dec-26-2012, 1:00AM PST
 
 
  
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Terry (abquitsmking)
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From: Terry (abquitsmking)

8/26/15

February 18, 2013 3:13 am
Day 53 since I last had a cigarette.
 
Day 2 of my cold :(
 
I started coming down with a cold on Friday evening.   The cold has not changed much since Saturday morning.    Its still all in my sinuses.   I hope I will be on the tail end of this cold tomorrow. Luckily, tomorrow (Monday) is a holiday at my work, so I don't have to go into office.   
 
When I was smoking, the cold would move from my sinuses down to my chest and stay there forever.   I hope that because I haven't been smoking the cold will be less severe if it does move to my chest.
 
It was a nice day here in San Jose, CA.   Sunny, 65 degrees.   I helped my daughter and some other girl scouts (they're brownies actually) setup a stand to sell cookies out in front of a retail store today.   I have not had a single craving or thought of smoking a cigarette all day.    Thats nice because, before I quit smoking, selling girl scout cookies for 2 hours plus a half hour drive to get to the location and half hour back, would mean 3 hours without a cigarette and that would have been my primary consideration about the day.
 
Well, I should get to bed and get some rest to help me get over this cold.
 
Thanks for reading.
 
David 
 
December Enders '12
My first post:  105375.251
My reasons for quitting:  105851.1
Things that helped me quit:  106557.7
Smoked last cigarette: Dec-26-2012, 1:00AM PST
 
 
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Terry (abquitsmking)
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From: Terry (abquitsmking)

8/26/15

February 25, 2013 7:27 pm
Oh My Irene....I have plenty of GS Cookies if you care to pop on out to Vegas.  LOL 
 
I cannot go anywhere around here and not bump into a Girl Scout, or her mother.  I think I am actually having more trouble with mothers.  ;-)
 
Have fun with the kitties!!
 
Michelle
 
Switched my seat assignment to the non smoking section on January 07, 2013
 
            
  
YOU CAN’T GET YOUR LIFE BACK IF YOU GIVE IT AWAY.
 
If you can't breathe, nothing else matters
 
 
 
 
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