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Fighting February MustQuiteers 2018   Quit Buddies Unite

Started 3/2/18 by slowblumer; 353046 views.
Denim50

From: Denim50

May-3

Hey Anthony, 

Sorry your quit busted on day five but so happy that you got right back at it. I know quitting isn't easy under normal circumstances and a bit more, no doubt, when temptation is right there in front of you. I also know slipping and starting again at square one can be a bit frustrating, speaking as someone who had more than one go at it myself before finding success. However, that being said, I also know the strength it takes to do it and that it can be done. So big congratulations to you on gathering that strength back up and getting right back to it because one will stick and you can do it, just don't give up. We go through a lot when we quit, both physically and psychologically. Of course the latter of the two lasting the longest. It's not all we go through though because there's the learning experience too. Relearning how to do things or be places where we would have before normally smoked. Now trying to navigate how to do them or be in them without lighting up. Then there's the timing too, like that early morning or after we eat smoke. So often times, even bits of a daily routine can act as a trigger. They say for that we should switch things up a bit but that's not doable sometimes, so we have to learn to do those things, be in those places, etc., in a whole new way without smoking. So, it really is a learning experience too and sometimes trying to do that and also battle what our minds/thoughts are putting us through can feel a bit overwhelming and can often lead back to 'just one'. In those moments try to recall there usually isn't 'just one' and try to turn those thoughts around into a more positive light. Change the words 'can't' and 'never' to 'can' and 'choose'. The idea that you can't ever have another cigarette often brings on a feeling of panic or anxiety. Remind yourself, of course you can, they're sold everyday but that you're choosing not to smoke. Having that choice relives a little of that. The idea of never doing it again has the same principal. Change that to not right now. Remember, keep your quit in the moment, one day, one hour, one minute at a time. Each moment smoke free is a moment closer to freedom from it. That's true and it sounds great and we do want that freedom, that's why we quit. Nonetheless, sometimes even that simple thought of freedom triggers our brain a bit. After all, freedom it implies no more smoking. So early on, if that too dredges up those thoughts/feelings then let it go. Don't think about that statement. The freedom will come whether we dwell on it or not. Besides, that involves looking ahead and sometimes looking too far ahead can cause added stress and/or anxiety that we don't need starting out. Another reason staying in the present moment early on is so important. Also, try not to be too hard on yourself or too critical. What I mean is, you're dealing with withdrawal, both physical and psychological, and you're having to relearn doing things in a new way. As Terry and Marge have said, it really is a process. So, try not to be too hard on yourself, instead congratulate yourself on your accomplishments and those moments, take pride in them, but don't mistake pride with over confidence. Over confidence is a trickster that often tells us that we're doing so good that we can handle 'just one'. What it's really saying is you're doing great but you could be a smoker again. Back to what I said before, of course you could, they're sold everyday but you're choosing not to smoke and not to put yourself back through that because you really are doing great and that's wonderful to hear, especially from within ourselves. We often believe what we tell ourselves. As far as the critical, for those who have had to give it more than one go, often we recall those previous quits during the new one. Don't. They're done. Don't let thoughts of old quits sabotage your new one. If we fall into that trap of dwelling in them or allowing ourselves to foster the thought we might fail again it's like giving ourselves permission or a excuse to do just that. This one has nothing to do with those. This one is here and now, in this moment, this minute. Funny thing about life, no matter what we go through we learn something. Therefore, they weren't complete failures, each one taught you something, no matter how big or small, even if no more than what triggered the last slip. Keep the lessons, let the rest go, and carry on because you can do this one moment at a time and I wish you all the best. Remember to use distractions too. They truly help. 

Have a great day. relaxed 

 

P.S. Please post me your quit date so we can celebrate milestones with you. Thanks. 

Writing all of this, I was just thinking back too to a small bit of a old article that used to be here before it was later revised. The bit I'm thinking of was written in part about how not to feel sorry for ourselves when we quit and, though small, that one bit often struck a cord of inspiration for new quitters and maybe it will again for you too, so I'll just leave that small portion of that old article here. 

"Joe gets to smoke and I can't!"
Hold on. Joe doesn't get to smoke; Joe needs to smoke because he's addicted to nicotine.  If you could get inside Joe's head, you'd find out he spends a lot of time wishing he could quit smoking ... just like you did before you quit.

I'm glad you're using the straws. Remember to reach out anytime. We're here for you. Talk more soon. Have a good day.  

Jatchat

From: Jatchat

May-4

Thanks Denim,

I'll consider what you said, meanwhile I will and have set a quit date for the 4th May.

In Christ

Denim50

From: Denim50

May-4

Hey Anthony, 

Thank you for your very kind message and support. relaxed I'm happy to be here and lend support to others. Goodness only knows how my quit would have turned out without the amazing support here from others and I'm happy to try to give a bit of that back. 

Thank you for sharing your quit date and congratulations on choosing to get right back at it. I hope your first day is going well. 

Have you taken any pictures recently? You're such a talented photographer and it's such a pleasure to see them when you post them. 

With the changing of the seasons, has it turned much cooler there? 

I haven't heard from Caz recently but I'm hoping that she will post again soon. I hope you keep posting too.  

One of the sensors on the SUV went out so I have to try to get that fixed. I'm making some post, then need to do a few things around here but will be logging in and out throughout the day today. 

I'm going to post this, as I've got another congratulations to post too but we'll talk again soon. Best wishes. 

Have a great day. relaxed 

 

  • Edited May 4, 2022 12:56 pm  by  Denim50
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