Brenda - I completely get what you are saying, I don't know who I am without smoking either. I'm sending you good vibes and well wishes. Good luck!

Thanks for sharing your trauma. It rings so familiar and really helps to have some others to share the pain with. I believe that you can work through it and it will pass. Don't let them drag you down ;) 

Brenda, I was reading this...

''Try not to see this recovery as being in competition with prior

attempts. Although I've remained 100 percent nicotine-free since May 15,

1999, if we both remain 100 percent 

free today, your day's worth of

freedom will have been no longer, shorter or less real than mine. We'll also

remain equals in being just one hit of nicotine away from relapse. And

when our head hits our pillow tonight we'll both have achieved full and

complete victory today. ''

It's normal for all quitters to get overly emotional and overthink everything when that doubt we can do this thinking takes over. This is a very emotional process. Many of us get super weepy, grumpy, temperamental one minute and losing it very quickly in the first months. Don't underestimate this drug addiction as it is powerfully strong. But, you have this forum as the extra tool to help you through. Just keep reading through all the threads so you get an idea of how the quits of others proceeded. This is a slow long journey with many ups and downs but stay stubborn, determined and committed to ending your drug addiction once and for all. Freedom feels awesome and we all hope you reach it too.

"Quitting isn't for Sissies!" I quit poisoning myself Sept. 27, 2013

Thank you Jamie for the good vibes.  I am definitely " a work in progress."  

I am sick.  I have a cough, my throat is scratchy, and I'm tired as hell.  I'm trying to stay positive, but this is hard.  Two little ones have me "on" all the time - no rest for the weary.  I'm thinking about taking a sick day...

How are you doing today, Michaela ?  What great insight and so true. Yesterday we both achieved complete victory.   I am proud of us  !   Today is a new day and as long as we don't smoke, we win again. Trying real hard to stay in the day, not look in the past and not worry about the future.  Today I am good. 

Hi Alex,   Sorry to hear you are sick.  Maybe quitter's flu ?  Maybe take the day and coddle yourself and the little ones.  Not sure of their ages. Maybe a day off in front of the TV with blankets and ice cream ? 

Brenda, I am good. I cooked,  I slept and I try to read as much as possible. Ofcourse I am listening some music

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvvme-WMzQM&list=LLuZ0Cs3F33O-9mPB5WXq3_w&index=36

Jazz and my dog, Pepa make me feel calm.

I am 2 days and 5 hours smoke free.

Very pretty music, I bookmarked it.   What kind of dog is Pepa ?  I have a little girl named Misty.  She is a Westie and my baby.