Hello, Brenda. First of all  Congratulations!

Thank you, Michaela.  It feels great.  How about you ?  How are you doing ?

Not good. My mind is empty of all the good things non smoking brings and iull of  junkie thoughts.  Since I came back from Greece I feel very down.

Hey Michaela, 

     I know it’s hard sometimes to stay strong when you feel weak but you can do this.  

Here are a few articles to help you: 

https://www.verywellmind.com/nicotine-withdrawal-and-junkie-thinking-2824411

https://www.verywellmind.com/depression-when-you-quit-smoking-2825274

https://www.verywellmind.com/mind-games-go-both-ways-when-you-quit-smoking-2824894

https://www.verywellmind.com/the-psychology-of-a-smoking-relapse-2825223

We go through a whole gamut of emotions when quitting and it’s not easy by any means, but it is doable and it does get better, however until we reach that point sometimes it’s hard to imagine in the midst of struggle but it is there and peace will come. Please don’t give up and please remind yourself that one isn’t ever one. You and I both had previous quits and know this from experience. I don’t believe you want to do that to yourself or you’re quit. What I do believe is that you’re strong, that you can do this, and I’m so proud of you, not only for how far you’ve come or for the support you’ve given to others, but also for the strength it takes to reach out for support yourself when you need it. You, your quit buddies, all of us, we’re in this together. You are not alone. What you are is awesome. Please remind yourself of that and if you can’t, many of us will be happy to remind you of it ourselves, so keep going with your awesome self and stay strong.  Those feelings you’re having will pass. 

Denim, thank you so much for that message. I will read again all those articles. 

I am 53 days smoke free.

I dream that I smoke or that I must smoke almost all nights and that become a torture.

This is a torture. It wasnt so hard even in that first day. My mind became my worst enemy.

I  am goig to start a new job in an international company and I dont want to be that person to go out to smoke every 2 or 3 hours when you are allowed to have a brake. I remember how ashamed I was last time.

I am sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time.  I guess that this is normal, as they say we can have rough days especially the first 3-4 months and up to a year.  Try to stay strong and remember your reasons for quitting.  Maybe go back and read some of the beginning posts and articles.  I also go to the 1 year and beyond posts, they are full of inspiration.  Also the Inspiration thread helps.  You are getting so close to the 2 month mark, just keep going.  Maybe do something real nice for yourself and get back to a good place with your quit.  Thinking of you, Michaela, and hoping the blues go away.  

Brenda, thanks. I will go now and read from the begining posts.

I noteced that if I dont writte on forum couple days, the fight  become harder.

Hey Brenda 

CONGRATULATIONS  on 2 months. Looking for ur stars?

Keep the faith 

Mark

I had massive craves this morning. Still dreming every night that I have to smoke. I hope this period will soon finish and the some peace will come. Wish you all a nice day.