Going thru the motions again.  I think self pity is my favorite character flaw with which to play...

"I didn't get enough sleep.  Woe is me!"  You know what Alex, CHILLAX!  LOTS of people don't get enough rest.  What about all the single moms out there?  Chin up butter cup!  Maybe get the girls and go for a walk when you guys get home and then try to get to bed early.  That will be nice.  With a cup of hot tea.  All is well...just need to take it one day at a time.  We're almost to bed time.  I love sleep so much.  I wish I could sleep from now until when I get my key and join the clubhouse.  I also have anxiety that I'm not doing my second job correctly.  So, that sucks.  Sigh...just not a good day I guess.  Moving forward...just have to finish up today at work (20 more mins) and then I can go get my girls.  I hope they had a good day.  Thank you Lord for this day, for this is the day the Lord has made and I will be glad in it and rejoice.  Amen.  Whew...okay...here we go...

Today's a new day !  Hope you got a good night's sleep and you have a terrific day. 

Today is a new day and I feel so much better.  The girls were so sleepy yesterday too!  When we all got home everyone went STRAIGHT to bed.  Hallelujah!  Now, just gotta make it thru tonight :)

How did you do, Alex ?  Hope life is being kind to you.  Even Super Moms can use a break now and again.     

So, I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread.  I ran a bunch of errands at lunch, but I don't think I needed to, but I did any way.  Then, that took me away from work, so now I'm stressed about being behind at work.  And my husband has a conference this weekend that he wants me to be at with him all day.  AND the grandparents are leaving Monday and I don't know how I'm going to get everything done without their help!  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for asking.  LOL!!

alexisfree said:

I ran a bunch of errands at lunch, but I don't think I needed to, but I did any way.  Then, that took me away from work, so now I'm stressed about being behind at work. 

I so get it.  Many times I think I bring about my own stress trying to do it all in as little time as possible. Sometimes I have to just tell myself to BREATHE AND SLOW DOWN.  I think stress was what made me self medicate many times.  Having to learn new ways to deal with it. 

Brenda (1sept19) said:

Sometimes I have to just tell myself to BREATHE AND SLOW DOWN.

Great advice!  I've been thinking, "Slow down, Alex".  But I haven't told myself yet.  So, now I am.  "Alex, you need to slow down.  Your smobriety depends on it.  People are watching you.  Put your oxygen mask on and breeeaathhhheee..."  Ahhhhh....so nice :)

I completely forgot about "slow down"!  Wow.  I need to be closer to the forum.  I had a huge urge to smoke yesterday.  Then the depressive thoughts came back.  Is this all a precursor to the icky 3rd month?  Because I don't like it.  Anyways...I thought I better come on here and type something in my journal because, yeah, I need to take care of my quit.  It is so important to me and I don't want to lose it.  With work and home life being so busy, I feel like I haven't had even one minute to breathe.  I used to do this thing where I would meditate in the morning and pray - not doing that anymore.  The girls get me up at 5:30am - how am I supposed to get up before that?!  I'd never sleep.  Maybe I can move my meditation to the middle of the day.  Or something else?  I don't know.  My leg also still hurts so I haven't been able to do my walking which I love.  And I haven't weighed in, in two weeks because I hate myself and have been eating everything under the sun.  Whoa!  I need to get back to the solution, quick!  Like the song says, "Order, disorder, reorder, over and over."  Ugh!!!

Hi, Alex. I miss you in our september group.

I am almost 2 months smoke free but the craves are very strong plus dreams that I smoke, night by night. It is been a torture. I understand that at the end of every months something is happening in our brain. Some receptors are shuting down. This must be a reason why we feel what we feel. Indeed we must stay close to the forum.

By the way. I start writting a lot in my journal I keep in my computer. I writte even one hour if it is needed until the crave is gone.

And the most important I must reward my self for beeing smoke free. I admit I forgot to do that for a while and I was depresed.

Hugs.

Michaela!  Yay!  Yes, we must reward ourselves.  Life is not a vail of tears.  It is only miserable if I make it so.  And I was literally CHOOSING SELF PITY.  Until it hurt enough and then I decided to change my behavior.  :D  

I went shopping with my husband yesterday - he's going to take me to a ball!  I get to wear a ball gown AND sneakers!  He and his friends are sneaker heads so they have a sneaker "prom" if you will.  I imagine it will be so fun.  At least to get out of the house and away from the kids for a little bit. 

I've noticed that I really like walking in the sun and listening to music - it is so meditative and healing for me.  I'm going to do more of it.  <3 

I really think there are things happening to my brain because I was in such a bad spot and then I'm not.  Maybe some of the receptors shut down?!  Yippee!!