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36 hours ...sort of   Quit Stories and Journals

Started 9/4/19 by Meredith (GettinFree); 15330 views.
Brenda (1sept19)

From: Brenda (1sept19)


Yep, I get it , Meredith.  A totally true and insightful post. 

In reply toRe: msg 71
Meredith (GettinFree)

From: Meredith (GettinFree)


I'd been avoiding doing September's invoicing because I didn't want to put a number to how little piecework I'd gotten done. It seems like it's getting a little better here at a month -- until about ten days ago I would just wander aimlessly around the house -- but yeah, just can't seem to get a dang thing done.

I've been trying to adjust my sleep times to allow more time for work, but that's never something I've been good at. (Thankfully the really-wacky sleeping has faded and we're basically back down to the lifelong issues!) 

I've skipped exercise to work, and just end up spending the extra two hours reading fiction or sleeping or, well, here. 

I had yesterday all planned out how I was gonna finish this job, and I *still* have about an hour's work left on it. And here I am, not doing it....


From: sibby123


I was exactly the same 

it took me around 2 months to get moving afain

i read for hours and slept and just sat there like a zombie 

i had promised myself that no matter what I would not smoke

it has and continues to be, a journey 

no regrets though at 9 months free

relax and trust the process 

In reply toRe: msg 73
Meredith (GettinFree)

From: Meredith (GettinFree)


It's actually a good thing that I haven't been journaling (well, sort of). It's been because I've actually had the wherewithal to get some life taken care of. And two Landmark courses back to back...hey, it's just how I roll. 

I also finally announced I'd quit on Facebook and among all the well-intentioned misunderstanding and well-intentioned understanding -- thankfully I have plenty of ex-smokers in my network to balance out the, um, others -- I got hipped to this Neurosculpting thing.  (Can't link; you'll have to Google it.) The doing, so to speak, is a guided meditation that makes it safe for your brain to be open to new ideas, and then develops imagery of your urges and a process for removing them, for good. Obviously the urges are myriad so I'll be doing this several times in the coming months...

I find it hilarious that my urges are visualized as little blobs of flan that I put in the big trash bin that goes to the curb. (It actually makes a lot of sense if you know that I don't like flan and I tried to like it again just two days ago.)

It's a pisser though that this morning has been kind of right back to an utter lack of productivity. I feel like it might be having messed with my head last night, doing this meditation, but who knows.

And I wanted, too, to acknowledge how far I've come:


From: Denim50


Hey Meredith, 

     Congratulations on two months smoke free! I hope you did something special to celebrate your achievement and that you had a great day.  


Meredith (GettinFree)

From: Meredith (GettinFree)


Denim! Thank you so much for remembering and writing! Haven't been able to post from my computer for some reason, and for some reason it only just occurred to try my phone. ;D

But anyway, thank you so much!! Let's just keep on NOPE'n!! heart_eyes


From: alexisfree


Yay Meredith!  Congratulations!!  I was just thinking of you and here you are just killin' it!  I'm so proud of you!  I can tell you're such an intelligent young woman.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Here's to the smoke free sisterhood!

Meredith (GettinFree)

From: Meredith (GettinFree)


Alex! Peach blossom! I was just wondering yesterday if you were still around...so happy to hear you're killing it too!!
To the smoke-free sisterhood!!

In reply toRe: msg 75
Meredith (GettinFree)

From: Meredith (GettinFree)


Twelve weeks this Tuesday and three months the Tuesday after that. Here we go. I think it was Brenda [Edit: it was Michele] who told me to grow my nails out so I can hang on; I decided acrylics were in order (aka, sounded like a nice excuse to have the novel experience). Already had an urge strong enough to make me a little dizzy, driving home from getting my nails done. Heeeere we go. 

Brenda (1sept19)

From: Brenda (1sept19)


Oh how pretty, Meredith.  They look fabulous.  What a lovely treat for yourself and they help you to hang on tight !!  I had them done once, but being such a dork, I couldn't do ANYTHING with them.   Couldn't do my bra or zip my pants or button a shirt.  My hubby had to dress me everyday. But I sure thought they were fancy and so pretty.  Way to go, almost to the 3 month mark.  So very proud of you !!