I’m still pondering the Lent thing. You made some good points Peggy. It’s probably something I shouldn’t expound too much on. Human nature is an enigma in so many ways to me. 
I get it too what you and Eve talked about with quitting being something that you didn’t realize would drag on. Don’t get too discouraged about it being a lifetime thing at the level it is now though. So many folks a few years out come here and talk about not thinking about it much anymore other than being grateful and glad that they stopped. We will get there too! I’m sure of it. In the grand scheme of things we don’t have that much quit time under our belts to undo the many years we smoked and all the wiring in our brains that we created by building all the connections with it.  So much of it is better already though, right?

Ha. So as I write that, realize that I am back to sleeping more again, or wanting to anyway. But I also know that is a way of escape and coping. Not just from the smoking but from the simple state of things around us/ me. 

My dad didn’t mind Rebecca, he didn’t like Heidi. He had known a guy whose last name was Heidi and said he was an old drunk and didn’t want his daughter named that. The doctor didn’t like Rebecca and I’m not sure why. But...the real question is...why did the doctor have any say at all??? Right. I don’t know. I don’t think I’m his kid. The whole story is kind of funny. 
Yes, I keep in touch with my sibs. All of us were born within 13 years. My poor Mother! I’m the baby. I grew up with 8 as the second one died young and before I was born. So there were 4 boys and 4 girls I grew up with. There are 6 of us left. One brother died when I was 18, he was 24. Another brother died when I was 19, and he was almost 26. One sister in Chicago, all else still in Michigan. 3 were smokers, but now none of us are. My dad smoked but mom never did. 
 

Im super sleepy and am going to bed. Will talk more tomorrow. Hope you have a beautiful morning!

My mind is ALWAYS in a void! Haha! I’m constantly telling my friend that he “thinks” too much, and I “think” too little. He reads and ponders almost everything, where I’m just blunt and tell people what I think, and don’t always think before I speak. Which definitely is a flaw! But I also used to fly off the handle more rapidly, but since have quit, noticed that I don’t do that as much. Which is GOOD! But you ponder most things, and it fills your soul til you can come to terms with it, and move on......is that accurate? 
I’m the person, if something is bothering me, I usually push it away until I have time to deal with it or ponder what to do. I don’t let myself be enveloped into to it. There are exceptions but on a regular basis do that. 
 

Well I’m off to start my day, 2nd cup of coffee! Enjoy your time off! Be well my friend!

Hey Peggy, 

Last weekend worked Saturday....overtime and got paid (was that written to me?) Any overtime is paid. I’m Union! Texas is definitely in a sad state of things. I’m glad that you don’t live in a big city and live in stix. I would be definitely apprehensive about working/teaching in a school right now. I think opening schools right now is poor judgement.....but others may disagree. 
Rain gone, had 2 detours last night getting home. 2 creeks/cricks flooded. Took an extra 20min. No biggie. We needed it. Grass was brown! 
 

You are correct.....we have definitely come through it!  
 

Hi Jackson and Tab? I have CRS. Is that the names of your dogs? CRS stand for cant remember stuff*.

Have a great day!

Eve,

Yes...Awesome....that is the names of the pups!!

so glad you made it home safe.  Flooding has started from the tropical storm I take it.  Yay on you getting paid.  I don’t know where I read that.

Thanks for agreeing with my apprehension about schools.  Pretty unsettling.  I have talked with a couple teacher friends.  It is so stressful that they change their minds everyday it’s probably better NOT to seek information.

Have an awesome smoke free day !

Peggy

Hey Lore,

Hope your sleep was soothing.  It was well deserved!  

Yes, so much of this quit has already made life so much better.  I know that as time passes I will not think of it as often.  I have done it before with another substance.  Why would it not happen again.

I too liked those smoke filled moments of escape.  Not an option now.  I was concerned that sleeping was another way of escape but I am not going to concern myself  anymore.  So I sleep too much.  So what?  It is a healthier coping mechanism than others I have indulged in!!  ( also a side effect of the quit)  With everything you are going thru, sweet girl, don’t you think more sleep is a good thing for you?

Glad you still have contact with the Sibs.  Yeah 9 kids in 13 years....eeeek, reminds me of that Monty Python movie.  I have often wondered if my oldest bro is really blood related.  Lol. Families are so different.  Surrogate families so much closer sometimes.

Hope you are having sweet dreams

Peggy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bk7RVw3I8eg

Well, Eve, for whatever reason...what you wrote made me think of this. If you’ve never heard this version of this old S&G song you should listen. The vocal inflections....man. Haunting in such a beautiful and moving way.

The only thing wrong with all these songs in my head is they are not long enough. I can totally turn one on and forget about wanting a cigarette as it will take my thoughts elsewhere and then...bam...song over, still want to smoke. 

More later on that thought Eve, but yes. And I do think it is the main reason I miss smoking. Seems like I thought less. Kind of like how Peggy said she can’t get into “Comfortably Numb” anymore.

This doesn’t make much sense but I just woke up again. Can’t seem to stay awake today. Just wake up, listen to a song or two and then realize I’m waking up again. Ugh! 
So I think I’m gonna walk and wake myself up since it is like 3:30pm!! 
Heeelp! Why can’t I stay awake??? 

Lore,

Am totally with you.  Slept all day.  Could Not wake up.  Really good sleep tho with Tab all stretched out here.

Have to get out and finish treating pool later.  Hope it is ready for the next doses. Not til just before sunset tho and will mow a bit.  Could go back to sleep.....Lol.  

How was work?  

Man...I can not motivate today! 
Work is....so stressful and busy. But now I got some days off. Had this big plan for a hike today and just can’t get out the door. I think I might actually go lay down again! Go later. I like walking so much better just before dark anyway. Less people out and I find I can focus more on the little things and not be as distracted. 
So Tab is your kitty? No...I’m thinking of “Tabby” as in cat. Your dogs are Jackson and Tab...

Im so glad you validated the sleep thing a few posts ago. But it is summer and I feel so guilty sleeping during the day! Must need it today, huh? 

Lore,

Yes my Shepherd is Tabitha who I call Tab or Tab Tab.  Yeah I know tabby kitty.....my ex named her and I wanted to name her Hannah but it’s ok.  She is so beautiful and loyal and loving.  Stickers (burrs) are so bad this time of year and her coat is perfect for hanging on to them.  They slide off Jackson.  That’s all I do is pick them off her, the towel, the blanket.  Lol.  Good distraction!!  Lol.  One of my friends took up knitting crochet when she quit for a distraction.  My neighbor gave me a huge sack of yarn and stuff.  They make cool stuff.  I am more of the prune trees type.  Lol.  But stickers will do for the time being.

I am like you....prefer the evening hours!!   So don’t feel guilty about sleeping during the day.  Many Texans do that cos of the heat.  A friend calls it the siesta sleep schedule!!!  It’s all good.  Consider it a huge blessing you can because of the high stress job, my sweet.

Going to watch a  2nd service.  Dogs fed.  Coffee started.  Do you take creamer?  I like Italian cream.  Let me pour you a cup

Hugs

Oh yes, a good strong cup please! I love French or Italian Roast, so good and dark...like my walking hours! Yes, I do take Half&Half. Love my cream. Mmmm! Actually only eat whole milk products, like yogurt. None of that fake “low fat high chemicals instead” stuff. Yuck. So bad for you. Maybe not as bad as smoking, but, also tastes and feels gross. 
So, we had a small dairy farm when I was a younger child. We would put the milk in the pasteurizer every evening after milking and then put it in the fridge before bed. Well...if you’ve never had home pasteurized milk, I’m telling you sista...you are missing OUT! All the cream is at the top in the morning. So...me and a couple of my sibs, whoever was up first, would go down and sneak the milk out and scoop the cream off the top and eat it straight away. MmmMm! Delicious and sweet...the sweetest and creamiest thing I think I’ve had to this day. Could actually taste a very very slight bit of alfalfa that the cows had eaten. Heaven. Till my Dad got up. Uh-oh. If there was one thing my Dad hated it was what he called “blue milk”. That is milk that does not have the cream stirred back in. So, essentially it is skim or fat free, like what you get at the store, and yes, it does look a bit pale blue, yes? We’d be long scattered by then but would hear this booming voice..”you kids had better not leave me this blue milk again!!!” Yeah...Dad was funny. That’s all he did. So, naturally next day it would happen all over again! Lol. Maybe that’s why he lived to 95 in spite of his smoking. Didn’t get too riled and always had skimmed milk! Ha! 
So...these days...yes. I drink milk with every meal even though not smoking anymore. Of course it is store bought and occasionally 2% if Pat is having a thing about it. He likes whole better but worries about too much “fat and cholesterol “. Ha. He is like 6’3” and weighs about 180, so very lanky and does not need to worry about this, of course. It always those ones that do, yes? Harrumph. Anyway...our home pasteurized milk is still top of my list. The store bought stuff is all homogenized so you don’t get settled cream even with whole milk. But! Whole milk yogurt often has a cream top! Yummm! 
Ok...yes...just woke up and have only gotten a half cup of Joe in, and just “smoked” my first cigarette in form of nattering... Ahhh...Happy Sunday!! 
It is bottling day for my Kombucha!! So, more nattering likely later on!
 

Oh...forgot to fit in there...my cousins had a farm down the road a piece and my Uncle died when I was 2 from drinking unpasteurized milk... yup. He got Bovine Tuberculosis from it and died. So that is why my Dad started to pasteurize ours. It was his brother. That is a pretty rare thing nowadays cause of all the antibiotics and crap that the mass produced farms use, but back then, small time farm, it happened.