Thank you Loreficent!

You know I never saw it as a problem that my wife smokes, So much time was spent with both of us smoking up a storm, talking and generally enjoying every minute sharing with her.  She is my best friend and "therapist". Not to say we will still have those times but I will have to forgo the smoking part. She is respectful of my quit by not smoking in front of me,  but she is going to have to hide the ashtrays though. That was my trigger this last relapse. It was really my fault thinking that I could have a few puffs. Wrong! A NOPE moment. 

Got a new quit date. Next Monday, April 1st. A good time to start a new month. I will have my last cig Sunday night and ceremonially grind any remaining in the disposal before I go to bed. No waking up at 2-3am and huffing a cigarette or 2 before going back to sleep. That has been my pattern for years. 

I had a breathing test yesterday at the doctor's. The therapist would not give me the results but asked me, in the past, was I a heavy smoker? I raised my hand and said NOW. I knew what he was saying. Consequences are upon me as if I didn't know. 

Yea, it's time to really quit.

Four days and my jig is up.

Good day

Andrew

***********************Please note****************************

My mistake. My last post I stated that I was going to quit on April 1st. It is actually Sunday, May 1st.  

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Andrew....

You are doing better than you may think.  Anyone could give up at your point out of frustration and despair but you keep on keeping on.  And in the game of quitting smoking that MATTERS.  I am still using 6 lozenges a day, but some days I have 3 or 4 instead.  Its not a full quit.  But I am cutting back here and there hoping these small slow steps forward will eventually lead to a quit!

Having a few 2 month quit successes is definitely something to be proud of!  You are building resistance.  Even if you go one day quit, one day 3 or 4, 2 days quit, one day 2 or 3, a few days quit.  It may sound half assed but that is where I am at with the lozenges.  Some of them I only suck on for 10 seconds then spit out!  I am building a mindset that I don't need them as much as I think I do.  To me... It is better than being quit 2 weeks then back on 2 weeks.  Today I only had 3.  Tomorrow I may aim for 3 again then hope to get down to 2.

This may be one way to approach quitting:  cutting down to quit.  Does this sound good to anyone?  I have a good friend who smokes this way.  She keeps a pack of cigarettes in her car but she only smokes 1 or 2 a day. Some days she does not smoke at all.

At my point Andrew... I am too insecure to quit completely but feel that if I can go from 6 lozenges a day to 3 a day, this may be good enough for me... At least for now!  In no way am i encouraging you to give up quitting but hoping that I offer you a cut down to quit program.

Small steps slowly in the right direction instead of on and off successes. It might take you longer but in that cutting down period you may read more, do more, develop new ways of coping, build better habits and slowly and gradually use your new ways to replace the old ones!  It is more hopeful than it appears to be!  You already have several quits under your belt.

I will keep you and everyone else posted on my cutting down.  With getting adjusted to new facets in my life I don't always need 6 lozenges.  And sucking on on one for 10 seconds is better than 20 minutes!  Smoking only a few puffs or just half of the cigarette would be the equivalent.

Hope this piece of my approach can help you Andrew#

Andrew

I kind of noticed that and just laughed.  I am always working on last year, last month, etc so I am always typing the wrong month and year.

Good luck to you

Kathy

Jerthie

Happy to hear that the cutting back is working for you.  It really is whatever works for each person!  Just keep moving forward!

Thank you!!

It is working... I feel embarrased at times that I am not able to quit cold turkey like everyone else but this way I feel I am still in control.  It means a LOT to me that you understand my weird method.  I hope to be down to just 1 or 2 a day by June.  I will first try to get used to 3 or 4 and feel confident.  Small slow steps for me.  Hope all is well!

Reinventing my life!  Wonderful outlook!!!

Yes!!

You are doing so well! Just do you Jerthie. There is no embarrassment in that. Cutting back is working, so go with it. Any honest effort in anything we do is never a wasted effort. One day at a time. That’s what get us through this life. We really only have the moment we are in. There is no guarantee, only hope.
I honestly believe the lozenges are not as bad as the cigarettes or vaping. Yes, still nicotine and thus still addiction, but, let’s be real here. Cigarette smoke inhaled into the lungs?? Worse. Nicotine is a vasoconstrictor so still having affects in that regard of course. But your lungs are not as affected as they would be by the smoke. I am not encouraging anyone in any useful method, nor judging any method. Simply accepting that we all must find our own way and what works. As long as we keep our eyes on the prize and the ultimate goal and support each other, well, that’s what matters. 
You do you and we are here to support you! 

I knew what you meant. Well, at least I wasn’t hoping it was almost another year! 
 

You’ve got this Andrew. Look forward to it!