I don't know what I'm doing but I will be writing out a post and all of a sudden lose the page and unable to retrieve my text. Pisses me off because I spend so much time composing some of my conversations. 

Oh well, I will continue on with my message to you.

Got up this morning at 6:30. Cup of strong black coffee, morning meds, fire up Utube and listen to fast jazz, dancing in my chair and composing a post to my new Delphi-buddy, CindiS319. 

Getting ready to clear coat epoxy our kitchen countertops. I believe you told me that you have done the same to your countertops. I have taken before pictures and will forward those with the after pictures so you can see what I've done.

It is this and other many other projects that I do to keep me from thinking about cigarettes. I've been rather hyper lately. Maybe because I no longer smoke but I must say that my caffeine consumption has increased greatly. Between the caffeine and nicotine pouches I am sailing through the day at double speed. No matter, at least I no longer smoke.  Week 10 and 1 day I feel I have not felt this good as long as I can remember. 

My commitment to not smoking gets stronger and stronger each day that I wake up and say to myself "good job Andrew, you don't have to start huffing any more cigs to start your day". I really don't miss them but inside I would love to have just one puff. NOPE for me. Thanks, Delphi, for giving me the strength to overcome this thing.  

My next project is to paint our kitchen cabinets. It will be a big job, but I thrive on challenge. Much like quitting my smoking; it is something that I will enjoy till my dying day. 

To all of you that are sincerely trying to quit, set your sights, focus and remember that this is absolutely THE most important thing you will do for yourself in your lifetime. I believe this to be true and so can you. 

Dance to freedom.

Good day (and many more)

Andrew

Well that sounds like a great day so far Andrew!  And congratulations on 10 weeks... that is awesome!  I look forward to seeing the pictures of your counter tops.  I'm sure the cabinets are going to be a big job.  It was pure hell not having a kitchen for 4 days because I spend a majority of my time cooking.  Plus I hung up plastic everywhere to try and conceal the dust from sanding.  I will try and post some pictures later today as they need to be resized because they are too large to post in a message.

And yes, NOPE is no joke.  I have thought about having just one puff but I know that would be the end of it for me and I'd be back up to over a pack a day and would want to kick myself (HARD).  I love that you are getting stronger in your quit... just keep it up and keep busy.

I will check in later.  Have a great day!

Hey Lore, 

I'm happy post that here.  

Hey Gayle, 

As I post that 'Dear John' letter here for you that Lore was talking about, I'll also post a letter to non-smoking friends and family to help them understand also. I hope you find both helpful. 

Lore is terrific and she's also right. The best thing to do is to stay in the moment and keep taking it a day at a time.

Thank you for posting the date. We'll definitely be sending, as Lore said 'a ton of good energy', positive thoughts and best wishes your way. 

Have a great day.  

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Hey Cin,

Been working with my countertops all day. Got them prepped really good (previous coat of varnish) Started coating at around noon. 

All I can say is I am not happy with the results. Nothing like the Utube videos .They are streaked and uneven. Also, I got some residue on our new laminate floor. Not a good day. I'll send you some pictures.

Another smoke-free day in the life of Andrew Elliott. I was craving a cig and drink last night (recovering alcoholic - 5 years). Sometimes I get that way when I am bored and restless. I refuse to blow it on a whim. "I just don't smoke or drink anymore" (case closed). 

I was looking on the web for a dog. As you may know i had to put my Jack Russell, Rascal to sleep last month. Had him for 8 years, the only dog I have ever had. It is still painful every time I think of him.

Other than that, I can't say anything is happening in my life. Did my 2 mile walk this morning before temp got too high. Came home and started on the countertops. My wonderful wife has some salmon planned for dinner with fresh corn on the cob, asparagus and chocolate chip cookies for dessert. She is a wonderful cook and takes care of me in more ways than one.

Life is good in Central Florida. I am glad to be alive and happy.

Good day,

Andrew

Awww, thank you Denim for those kind words! Made my day! 

Thank you for posting those too!

Hope you are doing very well!

Hi Andrew,

Sorry they aren't turning out like you had hoped.  Like I previously said with mine, they are "okay".  Better than the 70s yucky gold but not what I would want to look at long term.  But then again, $126 is better right now for our budget than $4000 for new counters.

I think boredom was my #1 challenge with quitting smoking.  I just didn't know what to do with myself.  When I was bored, I'd smoke and when I quit I just didn't know what to do.  That does go away after time so just hang in there.

I do remember about your doggie...I'm really sorry.  I've lost a few and they really hurt.  I have their urns along with paw prints, lock of fur and pictures in my curio cabinet.  I still cry and they've been gone for years.  I hope you find a new doggie that can help fill that void in your heart.  They never replace them...but you find a new place for their love.

Here's a couple pics of my counters...didn't have time to resize them so sorry if they are a bit large.

Before:

After:

Have a great night and I'm sure we'll talk again tomorrow!

Hey Cin

I just turned Fox off. Getting so tired of all the terrible news these days. 

Bored most of my life. I grew up in the 60's and 70's when things changed so radically for us in the USA. I was an up and coming 13-year-old flower child in California. Hitchhiked around SFO Bay area playing my harmonica, eating San Francisco sourdough bread, going to be-ins, hanging with the hippies. Learned to play guitar at age 14 and performed blues in coffee houses around Menlo Park and Stanford University. I was quite the kid. 

I lived in a place called Portola Valley and we lived in the foothills of the Santa Cruz mountains. Absolutely beautiful! The fog would come rolling down the mountains every night and I would sit watching this beauty of nature while composing instrumental music. I would become a very talented musician into my teens and 20. Beyond guitar and harp I taught myself banjo, piano and tried several other instruments along the way. I wanted to a one-man band (story of my personal life). I was introverted and lacked much of any self-confidence. but I could sure play a mean guitar.

Even as talented as I was, I suffered from boredom and depression. Not real good family life so I sat in my room for years playing my guitar. Went to school and played guitar. That was it. Today I just play the piano for myself but still suffer from depression and boredom That's where smoking comes in. 

I have used tobacco (and other substances) to relieve my mental health tendencies.  Everything except tobacco has been eliminated from my life. I am a grateful recovering hippie and live a very normal and peaceful life in retirement.

And I am quite hopeful that I will overcome this last vice......... I don't hope, I KNOW.

Andrew

Hey Andrew,

For some reason I am still up and watching Batman Begins.  I remember loving the series Batman (with Adam West) when I was really young (like 4) and making my mom sit with me because even though I loved it, I was scared too.  Pretty funny.  And yes, the news is terrible now-a-days.  I just heard this morning about some idiot in Vegas leaving his 3 month old husky puppy in the car while he was gambling.  They arrested him...hopefully he gets the longest time possible.  A$$hole!

Your posts always make me smile for sure and I enjoy reading them.  Your growing up story is really interesting (even if you think it isn't).  I've been to California quite a few times.  What brought you to Florida?

When I was about 11, my dad decided I should take organ lessons.  I really didn't enjoy it too much.. would have enjoyed piano much more.  But I did what he wanted.  I was in a band from when I was 15 to about 25 playing keyboards.  I have not touched them since.  I really didn't have a passion for it even though I love music.  Since I know you love music too, letting you know who my favs are:  Rush (#1), 80s (Journey, Def Leppard, Yes, Queen) and now country (Toby Keith, Luke Combs, Martina McBride) and old country like John Denver and George Jones.  We live in the country so we are usually blasting music by a campfire.

I appreciate your honesty in what you have overcome.  I still struggle with alcohol, but we'll leave that topic for another day.

Woke up this morning, got a cup of coffee. Immediately plugged into Utube and found a new tune from Foreplay/Bob James called Silver. I was so charged up I had to start dancing in my chair. Music can affect me in such magical ways!

Actually, I have had a remarkable life. Unfortunately, the depression has clouded my memories and it's rare that I even talk about those times anymore. I am proud to have taught myself the music, I was born with many gifts one of which was/is the music. 

I'll give you a short synopsis of the life and times of Andrew Elliott.

Born in Cleveland 1954. Pittsburg PA until 9. California till 13. St. Louis till 18. Minneapolis, Key Largo, Austin TX, Orlando - 5 colleges in 10 years, Art & Design, Social Science, Business - no degree. Bi-polar '83. Married twice, no kids. Depression mostly, trust fund kid, freedom. 

As you can see, I made the rounds. People would ask me Where are you going? I would reply "Ï don't know but I'll know when I get there". I never got there so as a result I have been lost most of my life. All the while accomplishing so many incredible things along the way, but I never gave myself credit for those things. Depression permeated my being, I lost touch with all spirituality and only tolerated life. 

This smoking thing has been one of the biggest challenges that I have ever encountered. I have fought my addictions and won (for today) over them. I was a druggie and later an alcoholic, big time. I had a stroke and landed in ICU/Life Support, breathing machine and finally Hospice. I was on my final lap and then suddenly I came back to life. My wife rescued me and took me home. There I slowly recovered. And here I am today. No drink, no drug but cigarettes YES.

It is my time to get rid of this thing I have hung on to because I am simply an addict. Today and forever, I will crave my substances. Life was not meant to be overshadowed by such unnatural states. I wish I would have known this as a teenager. I would have known where my destinations were and would probably be on stage creating from my soul.

And so, it goes. My life is better than I ever imagined it could be. Thank the Lord who makes all of this happen.

Dancing in the morning.

Andrew

can't find it -please send me an email  c.andrew.elliott@gmail.com