Don't think of the one or two you smoked. Think of the four or five you didn't. So you fail at cold turkey. Are you smoking less? Have you NOT thrown in the towel completely? Cold turkey is admirable but I can't seem to do it. I am still using anywhere from 6 to 10 lozenges a day, everyday sadly. But I have NOT given up on myself completely. I still have hope! I still believe! I still can dream of that day when I will be free! Today I had four. I was so mad at myself for not being able to do cold turkey. But then that anger at myself just raised my anxiety, which is why I turned to positive thinking instead. Did I have 8? No, I had 4. Did I today? No but I not quit on the dream of being free!. I am NOT giving up on my dream yet! I will try to post everyday to keep my fires burning! Keep on keeping on!!!

Stay smoke free

I hope I can start my quit soon. I am getting ready for it. I would say that 70% of the time I want to quit. The other 30% of the time I don't want to quit. Sometimes it's 60/40. To be honest, sometimes it's 50/50. All I know is that when I really do want to quit, it is a strong desire to. But the desire and the drive to quit leaves as soon as I begin to anticipate what withdrawal will feel like. I would like to quit deep down inside, though part of me deep down inside also does not want to quit. It is the sad truth about me. I admire everyone here who has been successful at quitting. This cutting down business is not helping me. I can cut down by four or five lozenges for like 3 days, and then after 3 days I am back up to 10 lozenges a day. Some days I even use 12 a day. It's a nightmare. I don't know how to stop being scared. I read the entire e-book Lore sent me. It motivated me, but sadly that still was not enough. I am going to have to come up with something new. I hate this.