Hey Jenny... Nice hearing from you. So glad you are still up and at it. That is a winning attitude. Knowing that you have had successful quits in the past I am sure give you some confidence that you can do it again! I'm glad you've found some joy and distraction in cross stitching. I am still using the lozenges, still at 6 a day, some days 5. I am not too determined to fully quit until the new year. I kinda have it all planned out in my head how I am going to do it. Going to dinner tonight with a few friends from my high school. Have a good night all.

I went to bed and woke up 4 hours later. I guess that’s one way to make time go quickly. I wonder if I could just sleep for 3 days, lol. 
I’ve got my water bottle filled with tea, so I can sip on it whenever I want. Having something I can do when I think of smoking will help, I think. That and cinnamon candies. Only a few more hours of today left, so I know I’ll make it!

Jenny

Jerthie, 

I’m happy to be back at it. Well, mostly happy, lol. I hope you have/had fun going out with friends! I’m just waking up from a crazy long nap and my brain isn’t quite working yet. I’m good for making it through tonight. I’m going to eat a bunch of food and watch tv with my daughter. 

Jenny

Got up this morning and didn’t seriously consider going to buy a pack, so that’s a good start. Last night my friend asked me to housesit for the next 5 days, so that presents some unexpected temptation. Being alone is a huge trigger for me. Just focusing on today for now, but it’s hard. I find myself trying to plan on buying some tomorrow. Ugh. Pushing the thoughts away. More ugh. 
 

Jenny

you are fighting through the hardest part - but that you woke up without a plan to buy more is a good sign - you are WINNING !!!!!

Soon, you will notice periods of time when you forgot bout smoking - and you'll realize - holy cow, I forgot to think about smoking ----yes it can happen and it will happen - your are crossing the bridge and almost to the other side.  

You can do this, if you have to sleep 18 of the next 24 hours to do it, then so be it but by golly you can make it.

You know you want to, and we know you can!!! 

If you think about it, it is so much easier to quit smoking then it was to start and to continue smoking.  I mean, all you have to do to quit is do nothing.  Nothing at all. 

To start smoking you cough and cough and cough until you train yourself to like the smoke itself and to continue smoking you have to keep buying packs of smokes and finding places to smoke.

Call me lazy but I prefer to do nothing.     

Jenny

Hi.  I have been quit for almost 17 months now.  Being alone in the beginning was hard for me also.......not sure why but, did not want my son and DIL to see me fail at quitting so it did help to have them around.  Everyone else in my life are smokers and would love to see me start again so that makes it really difficult some days!

Mostly, just don't have them around you at all!  By the time you drive somewhere to buy them, the craving should be mostly over.

Hang in there and just don't smoke.  You can do this!

Thank you Anne! It would definitely take some effort to find a place to smoke at my friend’s house. Plus, I don’t want their bed to smell like smoke after I sleep in it. It certainly is easier to do nothing. I like that! 

Jenny

Lubbercat, 

I think that’s part of why it’s easier for me when I have people around me. I don’t want them to know if I don’t make it. If I can hide it, I’m much more likely to smoke. I thought I’d have a good month without being completely alone, so this housesitting has caused a bit of a bump in my carefully laid out plan. 
I think I’m fortunate that I’m not around smokers. I think I know 2 people who smoke and 1 of them I’ve never seen smoke. It’s awesome that you’re able to stick with it, even when you’re surrounded by people who’d like you to fail. I remember when my friend quit 20+ years ago. I really wanted her to start smoking again, which sounds messed up, lol, but I wanted my addiction buddy to go outside with me. It took some time, but I think seeing her successfully quit was a huge catalyst for quitting for the first time. I sure wish I’d stuck with it past the 2 year mark, but I didn’t, so I’m yet again here and fighting this thing. 
ok, now I’m rambling a bit. Thank you so much for your response. I will be so happy when I get to 17 months!

Jenny

Jenny... Everyone... I went to the convenience store today, bought a pack of smokes, smoked one then threw the pack out. I don't know why I did this but I think it has to do with my wanting to lose weight. I went to dinner with friends last night, woke up and saw that I gained three pounds! I felt fear! I know what I thought. Maybe I could smoke for a week or two just to get the weight off and then I'll go back to the lozenges. Ugh. Here I was, so happy to be at 6 lozenges a day, planning out my program to go from 6 to 5 to 4 to eventually zero- and then I forget all about that hopeful plan and smoke a cigarette. Why? Why? Because I am terrified of gaining weight. The good part of this story is that fortunately I do not feel like going back to smoking and I have not been abusing the lozenges today. I knew I would smoke one today. I knew it. I wasn't really craving one, but i kept visualizing myself smoking one outside in the cold before starting work. The more I pictured smoking one, the more resigned I became to making that drive to the store to buy a pack. This was careless and absolutely needless- but i am not beating myself up for this slip because I now know that that is exactly what the addiction wants us to do- to feel guilty and hopeless so we can turn back to it for more false comfort! 

I still have hope! I don't know how to completely get off of the lozenges. I used to be content at 6 a day but deep down inside I know I would love to be at maybe just 4 a day then 2 or 3 then possibly quit. I don't know how to pass time without thinking of nicotine. Well, I need to get back to work as my break is almost over. I cannot take this forum for granted! Had I hopped on the forum earlier, I might have stopped the picture of myself smoking and prevented myself from buying a pack. Just when I thought I was heading close to a successful rainbow, a few pounds set me back... Quite a bit. Perhaps I need to also quit having bad body image.

Jerthie, sending you hugs! Sounds like a rough day, for sure. Were you surprised by how bad it tasted? That’s always amazed when I have one after a long time. Yuck!

I once gave up on a quit because I rationalized it would help me lose some unwanted pounds that had found me. It didn’t. Not one bit. I probably put a couple on when I finally quit again, though!  

I’m so happy you tossed the rest of the pack so it’s a small slip rather than a full blown failure. At least that’s how I see it. You’re right back on track and coming here for support, so you’re awesome! I hope I can keep going this weekend and be here to help support you. 

Jenny