Living it! -  Job Problems--Advice? (84 views) Notify me whenever anyone posts in this discussion.Subscribe
From: Bunny13812/15/03 10:31 AM 
To: All  (1 of 10) 
I think I just want to blow off steam and maybe get some input. I work with a woman who is a bully and one of the most negative, sullen people I have ever met. She is downright mean. I think all the workers are scared of her in some way. On top of that, her boyfriend works there too, and when she is around, he isn't very nice, either. There are two of us that she especially zeroes in on as targets of her nastiness. THe more polite I am to her the worse she gets. I have talked to the supervisor (so has another person), and they're sympathetic, but there's not too much they can do. I'm afraid that anything I could do would make things worse. I live in a rural area. There are not that many jobs around, and the nearest bigger town is 60 miles away. It seems this is just a bad area and time to be looking for a job, which I hate doing anyway. Any ideas? (I've heard that black obsidian absorbs and dispels negativity. If I had one the size of a football field, that might help. Need some humor here, so ha-ha.)
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From: Tarty (RAVENGIL) DelphiPlus Member Icon Posted by host12/15/03 3:30 PM 
To: Bunny138  (2 of 10) 
 8728.2 in reply to 8728.1 
Oh dear Bunny, I can sympathize.

We have a wonderful crew in my base store-- a gang of warm, intelligent people with great senses of humor-- except for one individual.

I'll call her Carol . Carol is bitter because she has not climbed in the company in the three years she has worked for us, She told me outright when I transfered to that store as assistant manager 2 1/2 years ago, that she wanted my job and should have had it. When I was promoted to Assistant District Manager I thought she was going to quit out of anger and frustration. No such luck.

She's very clever and very sneaky. She's never done anything that could get her fired. She is great with customers and can suck up when bosses are around. However, she is sarcastic and bitter with other employees. She's the one who will always make a snide comment such as "Walk much?" if you should trip. She makes sure she is in your way when you are trying to get to a customer. She will try to handle phone calls that are meant for higher ups. She is impatient and short with newer employees and often sighs and rolls her eyes when they ask her a question. She constantly displays passive aggressive behaviors.

No one wants to work with her except the manager. (told you she can suck up when she wants to) The whole atmosphere of the store changes when she is on.

There is not much I can do unless she does something against company policy, so I wait. I've been trying to get her to apply for higher positions in other stores in the district, but she doesn't want to travel.

In the meantime, we've all tried to take it in stride and not let her attitude get the better of us, It's not easy though, and I know exactly what you are going through.


From: Bunny13812/15/03 4:27 PM 
To: Tarty (RAVENGIL) DelphiPlus Member Icon  (3 of 10) 
 8728.3 in reply to 8728.2 
Thank you SO much for your message. It's good to know others understand. I've run into similar people in other jobs, and I've had others say people like that are hard to believe. That's when I wonder if I'm the only one, although I know I'm not. I sympathize with you, too. I can just picture "Carol". My problem (I'll call her Mabel) sucks up to management, calls them "sweetie, honey," (gag), then comes back to the rest of us and the gloom and black clouds descend again. She's incredibly rude, throws actual temper tantrums, etc. One time she had a tray with a few things on it and wanted to set it down. There were other things on the counter, so she just threw the tray, everything on it went all over, and she just huffed away. She's really pretty scary. I wonder what people like that get out of acting the way they do. The supervisor told me that she doesn't want me to quit, and she's trying not to schedule us together, for which I'm thankful. So far I'm still trying to hang on. Thanks again! And if you find a HUGE black obsidian, let me know...and take care!

From: Tarty (RAVENGIL) DelphiPlus Member Icon Posted by host12/15/03 4:56 PM 
To: Bunny138  (4 of 10) 
 8728.4 in reply to 8728.3 
Here's two things you can try

Shield-- put up your defenses and don't let her get to you. She must be a pretty miserable person to act the way she does. And she can't be very happy. It may be hard, but look at the positives, be thankful that you don't have the life she does

Wish her the best-- Wouldn't it be wonderful if she got a new job somewhere else that she really enjoyed and paid better? Keep envisioning that.

Hostess of
Astarte's Pagan Realm


Tarty Recipes!

Founder of

Hostess of

Edited 12/15/2003 4:57:20 PM ET by Tarty (RAVENGIL)

From: Bluehawk (Bluehawk9)12/18/03 11:18 PM 
To: Tarty (RAVENGIL) DelphiPlus Member Icon  (5 of 10) 
 8728.5 in reply to 8728.4 
That's it - return good for evil - that REALLY screws the f*ckers up no end!

Seriously - wish them all good things, in work, in life, in love. Pray for all those things for them. It will make you fell better, will surround you with good energy, put lots of credit in your Kosmic Karma Account (*G*), and if they wind up with a better job or other situation that leads them elsewhere, it's a win-win. Of course, it always IS easier to give this advice than to do it - but it DOES work. Sometimes amazingly well, and incredibly fast.



From: Tarty (RAVENGIL) DelphiPlus Member Icon Posted by host12/19/03 2:13 PM 
To: Bluehawk (Bluehawk9)  (6 of 10) 
 8728.6 in reply to 8728.5 

I had a woman in the store yesterday that could have ruined my day .. if I let her.

I had one person call out sick so I was working all alone in the base store for a while . (I am getting over the flu and was only there until someone else could come in)

There was a line at the cash wrap and I was going as fast as I could. There was a customer that I had just finished giving change to and she was gathering her bags when the woman behind her held up her book and yelled "I'm ready now". I just smiled and said "Great, because you're next!"

Well, as soon as the first woman gathered her bags, the second woman rushed up to the counter, almost pushing the first woman out of the way. She looked at me and sneered "And I don't want one of those stupid cards either". I smiled again and said, "Well, how about an electronic gift certificate?"

Ooops.. that must have made her a bit perturbed because she got really nasty after that. "I just WANT THIS!"

I kept smiling and rang up her purchase, gave her the total, took her credit card and swiped it and asked for ID. She didn't like that either but I insisted. She signed the slip and threw it on the counter.

I thanked her and told her to have a "truly wondeful day!" (still with a huge smile on my face). To which she replied "Whatever!" and grabbed her bag.

At this point, I (in my silly santa hat) began to sing "Tis the season to be jolly..."

And that got everyone else in line cracking up as this charming woman stomped out...

heh heh


From: Bluehawk (Bluehawk9)12/19/03 4:32 PM 
To: Tarty (RAVENGIL) DelphiPlus Member Icon  (7 of 10) 
 8728.7 in reply to 8728.6 
Yep...kill 'em with kindness! And remember - it's not YOU that's the problem. You are just the handy punching bag/scapegoat for someone that can't accept responsibility for how things affect them. It's ALL good! (Well, not really, but even the crappy stuff most people face is a whole lot better than being, say, a leper during the Dark Ages).

Which reminds me...what did the leper say to the prostitute? "Mind if I leave you a tip?" (ROFLMAO!!!!) (Well, I thought it was funny...).



From: Bunny13812/19/03 8:38 PM 
To: Tarty (RAVENGIL) DelphiPlus Member Icon  (8 of 10) 
 8728.8 in reply to 8728.6 
I love it! (And you can be glad that you don't have to be around her any more.) Thanks so much for understanding. It means a lot.

From: Bunny13812/19/03 8:40 PM 
To: Bluehawk (Bluehawk9)  (9 of 10) 
 8728.9 in reply to 8728.7 
A leper in the Dark Ages. Yeh, that's pretty bad. There are a lot of things that are better than that. That is a great thought. I'll remember it, think it's true, and I'll smile, too. Thanks. (And I enjoyed your joke.)

From: Tarty (RAVENGIL) DelphiPlus Member Icon Posted by host12/22/03 4:06 AM 
To: Bluehawk (Bluehawk9)  (10 of 10) 
 8728.10 in reply to 8728.7 



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