It really is weird. I had to accept to a certain level what my doctors said about my life expectancy a couple years ago (80% mortality rate for CHF in 7 years, and my internist was 100% convinced I would not live out the first year - he told me earlier this year). I HAD to put my life in order, as they say. I HAD to consciously live as an example for my son, because I didn't know how long I'd be around to do it (not to be morbid, just realistic). I never gave up hope or a positive attitude, and I've been off Social Security for two months now, after a year on the job. I still qualify for SS because of my other medical problems (if I ever wanted or had to go back on it). I'm just too d*mn ornery to sit on my *ss, though!
But it really brought it home when the doctor phrased it as, "You know, you have a very good chance of reaching retirement age." It's incredible, but kind of frightening at the same time. On a certain level, I had become used to not having to plan for the future. Now I need to. Whoopee!!! Now I'm working on some of the other stuff, while continuing with cardio rehab. Sky's the limit, guys!
I've even started dating again, now that I know I won't up and die on someone (*G*). It's weird, getting back into the whole dating thing after so long...but it helps being a not-totally-ugly single, intelligent, educated, musically-talented man with a sense of humor and a leadership position in the congregation of my UU church. I wish I wasn't so damn shy around women one-on-one...(modest, no - shy, yes).