A quick history about me... I have been married for 3 years, and came into my husbands life when his children were 2 (boy) and 3 (girl). Everything has been great (except for issues with their mother, but that is another story), until I had children of my own. Now my two sons are toddlers, and my 7 year old stepson has been interacting with them in a way I feel is physically inappropriate. My husband and I are literally at odds because of this, and it has been this way for months. He feels that his son will get over it, but I feel it is affecting and confusing my sons. The children are with us for about half of the year, and when they are here I have major anxiety as my 7 year old stepson likes to rub my sons' arm, tummy, hold their hands a lot, sit right beside them or try and get them to sit on his lap, offers to give them baths, etc... As a conservative woman from the UK, I recognize that my "stiff upper lip" upbringing might be foriegn to my husbands liberal views. However, I see how he interacts with his own siblings (his sister and him are sometimes too close for comfort... another story, but trust me on this), and I would prefer that my boys be conservative in this area as well. My husband feels that I am too hard on my stepson and I have a problem with how he interacts with my sons because he is not from me. His son is very sensitive and touchy feely, and I feel that he should be past this stage, and know boundaries with interacting with his brothers and other boys. tHe situation may seem pety, but as a mom who wants to do everything right I don't want this to affect how my boys behave or interact with other children.
Another issue is, the children call me Miss Lizzy, and it gets so frustrating having to be called Miss Lizzy infront of my boys, when their father has gone ahead and has them calling each other brother, sister... even has my stepchildren calling my Mother, Grandma; but then I am Miss Lizzy. My 2 year old called me Miss Lizzy a couple times already, and it broke my heart.
My husband and I have been fighting for months over a lot of these issues that stem from the children and their mother... who is miserable to me by the way.
It has gotten so bad, that I would rather just move back to the UK with my boys... I don't feel any kind of connection to my husband anymore. My sons have become my top priority. I used to see my stepchildren in the same way, but months of fighting and dividing the household, has me keeping my distance from him and them.