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What if that doggie is NOT what you expected?   Dogs

Started Nov-11 by PennyCC; 475 views.

From: PennyCC


I had a poodle a long time ago who became ill and died rather young, only 4 and 1/2 years.  After a while I got another dog, a Portuguese Water Dog named Dasher, and he was not what I expected. Instead of being a bubbly energetic outgoing dog like my poodle was, Dasher was timid, not very playful and with the exception of children -- who he dearly loved! -- he did not want to have much to do with other dogs or people.  I was quite disappointed in this dog and mourned my decision to get him for a long time, in spite of the fact that he had bonded so closely with me that he was never more than a foot away from me.

I regret my initial attitude towards Dasher. He was with me 15 years and part of his social issues were because he had Addison's Disease, which is a treatable disease but it definitely affects how a dog deals with the unexpected and new situations.  In the end, I loved Dasher very much and I am grateful that he came into my life.

Have you had a dog or cat that was unlike your previous pets and you had a problem bonding or coping with them? Did it just require time to develop a close relationship or did you have to make any special efforts?

Dasher, Portuguese Water Dog

In reply toRe: msg 1

From: PennyCC


Letting Go of Expectations: A Dog’s Wisdom on People and Life 

Have you ever finally gotten something you longed for only to find that things didn’t work out as expected?

I know I have.

I firmly believed that having a dog was the answer to some of my desires, such as having more meaning in my life and receiving love on demand from another life.

I bought into irrefutable sayings like, “Dogs love unconditionally,” and, “Dogs are man’s best friend,” and, “Dogs are loyal.”

As it turns out, the reality can be very different. And yes, those statements are true, but the results of expectations don’t manifest out of thin air. It takes patience, understanding, and a willingness to give more love than you take.

Read rest of article by Andrea Still 

i had a cat for 8 years of his 16 year life that never really bonded with me.

He was a Persian mix and i kind of baby sat him-my boss's mother could not care for him due to her advanced Alzheimers disease, and my boss gave him to me since he needed extensive grooming and re feeding, and it was after i had lost another cat.

He was easygoinng and obedient and his groomer loved him, but he never bonded with me, he was just kind of distant.

I had him til he went to the Bridge in August 2014.  He was never bad just not real together.

strangely,  a few weeks later when i adopted Makenna our bond was IMMEDIATE.



From: PennyCC


Thanks for sharing. Isn't it funny how these things work out? 

I have found with my last few dogs that the bonding took a little longer than when I was younger. I think I was so busy that I did not feel the bond for a good while. Then it was there so strong that I could not imagine my world without them.

maybe it does just take  longer as we get older.

some people told me George had some trust issues when I got him and that may have placed into it.


From: PennyCC


The first dog that my hubby and I got when we got our first home was a mixed lab from the Humane Society named Domino, which we renamed Dominique (eliminating the "no" from the name).

Dominique bonded SO SO closely with my husband but would bite me, sometimes badly.  I went so far as to contact an animal communicator about her and was told that she had been previously owned by two elderly women who must have abused her. Since Dominique was a very high energy dog at the age of 3-4 months that we got her, I could understand why the elderly women would not have been able to take care of her, but it is sad that Dominique was afraid of women for the majority of her life. She and I came to an understanding after a time, and I got a second dog who did bond closely with me, and we became a 2-dog family after that.

I am sorry that Dominique had issues with you. Did anyone (adoption counselor, volunteer?) give you any heads up that she was afraid of/did not like women? Usually we do a "behaviour consult" when a new adoption takes place especially if we know something like that to be the case. Sometimes the adoption plans change.

Glad it calmed down and after that you became a two dog family --sounds cute!


From: PennyCC


Dominique was one of the smartest dogs we have owned. She was meek and mild in her cage and friendly when we met her in a side room. I actually picked her because she was so sweet and an older puppy that did not appeal to many people. The people at the shelter may not have known about her fear of women. I did not get bitten right away with her but she did not want to come out of her crate for me at lunch time and she growled at a female pet sitter. She had no problem with men sitters.

Dominique and I were pals as she got older, but she really only wanted to be with my husband. We named our dog Neeka after Dominique, who I often called Dominica. Neeka is also close to my husband although as I type this post, Neeka is curled up between my knees--all 40 lbs of her. So Neeka likes me too.

  • Edited November 20, 2017 1:31 pm  by  PennyCC

i wonder if they knew or not. there must have been female workers there as well as male  and we tend to get whatever information we can about our shelter animals, if htey were surrendered by another owner there is usual a a questionnaire about how they acted in their last home, and if they came from another shelter we get a shelter questionnaire that is not as detailed but often says some basic info about how they acted in the shelter.

I am glad you worked with her and eventually were able make friends-that is most important. Sounds like Neeka was a new, fun dog for you, too.

It is possible that not all shelters do this---check on how the animal acted while in its previous home or shelter. I think more  do than do not, but staffing concerns can make a difference.

Glad you are happy with who you have now.