Confused malcontents swilling Chardonnay while awaiting the Zombie Apocalypse.
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Not really a QUICK quiz but it is a quiz!
ubject: Job application
Apparently this is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at
a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida........and they hired him
because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously,
whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be
applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP
TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do
you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a
winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with
a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy super model who thinks I'm the greatest
thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
Oomp (AstroLib) said...Apparently I'm the Duchess of Cambridge, and it looks like she has more than Harry, hopefully excepting beard potential and chest hair.
Keep up, will you? My post was made Nov. 26, 2017! Prince Harry had more hair back then!
I missed a lot of news this week, so some were blind guesses!
Apparently I'm a Eurovision Modernist
The last time I watched such an "event" our (UK) competition was "Puppet on a String"!
Ihren ersten Schallplattenvertrag bekam Shaw 1964
It put me off for life!!
Oh I forgot this one!!
Come on Folks!!! Let's start rocking in the aisles!
Memories of your childhood Jenny Wren??
Is this where you get your fashion statements from??
Me too. Too many peeps i dont know
I LOVED ABBA as a kid!
Still have a soft spot for them.