Coalition of the Confused

Hosted by Jenifer (Zarknorph)

Confused malcontents swilling Chardonnay while awaiting the Zombie Apocalypse.

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Other Animals   The Lounge

Started 7/2/18 by PTG (anotherPTG); 321819 views.
Di (amina046)

From: Di (amina046)


Jenifer (Zarknorph)

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)


I've had "elephant sized" hangovers before.

I don't envy them when they wake up.

Jenifer (Zarknorph)

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)


Shhh, don't tell trump's kids or they'll go on a Safari and send the numbers deep down.


From: Harold27Z


Elephants get intoxicated eating marulas from which Amarula Cream liqueur is made.

Years ago, I visited a niece aged about 7 so she was able to read. 

She was horrified to see me drinking wine from a bottle whose fake label depicted an elephant and was labelled "ELEPHANT WEE-WEE".

Jenifer (Zarknorph)

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)


That's a good way to get her to read!


From: Harold27Z


My kids' bedroom doors had the following pasted up like a "framed certificate" 

Pretend you are civilized.                     Voorgee jy is beskaafde.

02         Knock gently and wait for permission to enter. Klop saggies en wag vir toestemming om in te kom.

03         No sickenizing or queer behaviour.      Geen afskuwelike of moffie gedrag nie.   

04         No scratching your bum.                      Moenie jou boud krap nie.

05         No cock and bull stories.  .                  Geen strond stories nie.

06         No boring conversation - fine R5.         Geen verveelende pratery nie – boet R5.

07         No yawning.                                         Moenie gaap nie

08         No scruffy people.                                Geen boemelars nie.

09         No loud farting or on people on purpose. Moenie hard of op iemand  poep nie as pris nie.

10         No farting quietly by accident.              Moenie poep nie per ongeluk nie.

11         No burping like a pig.                          Moenie burp nie soos ‘n vark nie.

12         No bad language.                                 Geen onbeskofte taal nie.

13         No alcohol.                                          Geen alkohol

14         No tobacco.                                          Geen tabac.

15         No drugs.                                             Geen dwelms nie.

16         No eating stinky garlic.                        Geen stink knoffel nie.

17         No scrounging / begging for money.    Moenie vir geld bedel / smeek nie.

18         No bad singing.                                   Moenie erg sing nie.

19         No loud laughing.                                Moenie erg lag nie.

20         Males must not kiss males.                  Moenie seuns soen nie.

21         Do not touch other persons’ bums.      Moenie op ander boude vat nie.