Coalition of the Confused

Hosted by Jenifer (Zarknorph)

Confused malcontents swilling Chardonnay while awaiting the Zombie Apocalypse.

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Comic Relief   The Lounge

Started 7/25/17 by Jenifer (Zarknorph); 167734 views.
Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

Dec-20

That last one was brilliant!

PTG (anotherPTG)

From: PTG (anotherPTG)

Dec-21

Relief? Guess what mine is!

About Dencorub

Dencorub offers you a range of pain relieving creams, gels and patches suitable for a variety of muscular and joint aches and pains.

What kind of pain relief product
are you looking for?

Di (amina046)

From: Di (amina046)

Dec-22

Di (amina046)

From: Di (amina046)

Dec-22

SHE WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCHING POST.  
AS SHE STOOD  THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. 

THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, "HEY OLD WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?" 

THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE GUNSLINGER AND SAID, "NO, I NEVER DID DANCE. NEVER REALLY WANTED TO." 

A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID,   "WELL, YOU  OLD BAG, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW," AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN'S FEET. 

THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR  —  NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE BLOWN OFF  --  STARTED HOPPING AROUND. 

EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING. WHEN HIS LAST BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER, STILL LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE  SALOON. 

THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUN, AND COCKED BOTH HAMMERS. 

THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY THROUGH THE DESERT AIR. 

THE CROWD  STOPPED LAUGHING IMMEDIATELY. 

THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS, TOO, AND HE TURNED AROUND VERY SLOWLY.   
THE SILENCE WAS ALMOST DEAFENING. 

THE CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND THE LARGE GAPING HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS. 
THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS,  AS SHE QUIETLY SAID, "SON, HAVE YOU EVER KISSED A MULE'S ASS?" 

THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND SAID, "NO M'AAM. BUT, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO." 


THERE ARE A FEW LESSONS HERE FOR ALL OF US: 

1. Never be arrogant. 

2. Don't waste ammunition. 

3. Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are. 

4. Always, always make sure you know who has the power. 

5. Don't mess with old women; they didn't get old by being stupid. 
PTG (anotherPTG)

From: PTG (anotherPTG)

Dec-28

Alas! Alas! My poor Canary is Dead!

Telemann: Canary Cantata (Funeral for a Dead Canary) - Jeffrey Strauss/Apollo's Fire

G. P. TELEMANN Funeral Cantata for an Artistically Trained Canary-Bird Whose Demise Brought the Greatest Sorrow to its Master Jeffrey Strauss, baritone APOLL...

katiek2

From: katiek2

Dec-28

How wonderful!  Absolutely loved it, couldn't stop laughing at such a "sad" memoriam.

Harold27Z

From: Harold27Z

Dec-28

Our blue grey budgie seemed lonely.  Yesterday, we spotted another budgie in the garden.  Our son caught it easily so it seems tame.  Both appear happy together.  I hate the idea of them being caged up but my daughter reckons they cannot survive unless fed seeds.  Two or three yellow green finches hang around our garden.  Cats eat birds in our garden necessitating poison.

Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

Dec-29

I literally reek of the stuff, and have been for days.

The guy I'm house-sitting for does not have a table.

Yes, you read that right.

I have to sit on 2 pillows on the floor with my computer on the coffee table.

My neck is killing me!

Time for another application...

Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

Dec-29

Harold27Z said:

Cats eat birds in our garden necessitating poison.

You poison your neighbours cats?

Harold27Z

From: Harold27Z

Dec-29

I can't say yes and I won't say no.  I shall invoke the fifth amendment. Suffice to say the poison is solely intended to prevent vermin.  Too bad if other pests invade.

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