Coalition of the Confused

Hosted by Jenifer (Zarknorph)

Confused malcontents swilling Chardonnay while awaiting the Zombie Apocalypse.

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Family Values   World Wide WTF?

Started 2/16/21 by el gringo (ramseylurker); 15631 views.
Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

Aug-10

SquaddyB

From: SquaddyB

Aug-10

They're breaking the law! END OF!

slackerx

From: slackerx

Aug-12

Why do you feel the need to attack little children in my country?

Does it make you feel like a tough guy?

Stay in your own damn country!

We don't need foreign child abusers here.

  • Edited August 12, 2021 8:53 pm  by  slackerx
SquaddyB

From: SquaddyB

Aug-13

>>>>>>>>>>>>We don't need foreign child abusers here.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Child abuser?????

DEAL WITH HIM NOW!!!!

Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

Aug-14

That is the last time you make a demand of me in my forum.

Savour it.

SquaddyB

From: SquaddyB

Aug-14

Posters wouldn't be making "demands" if you monitored the posts.

I am asking you now to delete that post where he made that false claim!

Ouch!

Help! My Daughter Is Marrying a White Man Against My Wishes.

Jenée Desmond-Harris  10 hrs ago
 
Dear Prudence,
 
Recently, I learned that my adult daughter was getting married within the year. I was surprised to learn this because I knew nothing of her dating anyone, let alone seriously enough that marriage was in the near future. I’ll admit my daughter and I are not as close as we could be, not since her mother and I divorced when she was a preteen and I moved out of state. Our contact was more limited after I remarried, but I still thought she would inform me of her beau. I arranged a trip to go visit her and see him in person. I was taken aback to learn her fiancé is a white man; she is black. I didn’t say anything at the time, but after I left and thought about it, I felt I should talk to her about it. While the man seemed nice enough, I felt she didn’t know what she was getting herself into.
 
I gave her a call and expressed my concerns, trying to make sure I wasn’t being judgmental. However, my daughter became angry and argued it wasn’t my business since I’m not a part of her life. She also said that if I didn’t agree with this, she could comment on my marrying a younger woman while forgetting about her growing up. She hung up and later sent a text telling me that I was perfectly free to skip the wedding if I felt so strongly about it. She even went as far as to say that if I had been a better example of a black man, she might not have gone for my “physical opposite.” Honestly, I largely don’t want to go to the wedding not only because I don’t approve of the relationship but her disrespectful attitude. I’m worried that if I don’t, though, it’ll solidify a strained relationship. What should I do?
 
— Hurt but Concerned
 
Dear Hurt,
 
My advice boils down to this: Stay in your lane. And the name of the lane is: Absentee father.
 
A lot of people would say one of the problems here is that you care about her fiancé’s race at all. But I don’t agree. I can see a Black father who is close to his daughter reasonably saying, “Oh wow, he’s white? Just checking, how does he feel about raising Black children? Have you two talked about what you’ll do when racism inevitably rears its head in your lives? What has he said about how his relatives will treat you?” In that sense, I don’t think it’s totally inappropriate to express concern. But it’s a weird thing to do if you haven’t shown the same kind of care about other issues in your daughter’s life. I also think it’s strange that you brought it up after having a chance to meet the guy, feel out his vibes, ask him questions and get to know who he was as a whole person, not just a white person. Taking all that together, I’m not at all surprised that she’s upset by the combination of your absence in your life (which has obviously hurt her) and your misguided comments.
 
I have to add that I also find it off-putting that as soon as you found out there was a man in her life, you hopped on a plane, especially if you didn’t do the same when she started college, got her first job, moved into an apartment, or celebrated other milestones when she might have appreciated your presence. To suddenly perk up and engage when marriage is on the table suggests a sense of ownership rather than a true interest in her wellbeing.
 
The way forward is to apologize for overstepping and assure her that you would love to attend the wedding if she can forgive you. If she accepts, ask yourself if you can be comfortable with a role in her wedding that matches the role you’ve had in her life so far: Someone who’s happy for her but isn’t one of the main characters in her story and isn’t entitled to a say about how things happen. The more you can be present, supportive, and nonjudgmental and refrain from being controlling, the more likely she is to open up to a closer relationship in the future. And if there are grandkids, you can have a fresh start.
 
 
In reply toRe: msg 79

el gringo (ramseylurker) said...

Dear Prudence,

Dear Prudence (Remastered 2009)

Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

Aug-15

SquaddyB said:

I am asking you now to delete that post where he made that false claim!

No.

I don't censor.

I will consider removing the post if you can prove the following:

  1. He made the claim that you are - in all seriousness - literally a child abuser.
  2. This claim caused you real world harm - such as getting a visit from police, or losing your job.
  3. This claim has been so emotionally distressing that you have needed to seek counselling.

SquaddyB

From: SquaddyB

Aug-15

Fair enough, so if someone makes an unsavory outright lie and slanderous comment about you, you will let it stand!

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