Coalition of the Confused

Hosted by Jenifer (Zarknorph)

Confused malcontents swilling Chardonnay while awaiting the Zombie Apocalypse.

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Words Of Wisdom   The Lounge

Started 3/6/18 by Jenifer (Zarknorph); 144149 views.
Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

9/10/19

Robin Williams

  • “Reality is just a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs.”

  •  “Ah, yes, divorce … from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.”

  •  “If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.”

  •  “Cricket is basically baseball on valium.”

  •  “Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn’t work!”

  • “If it’s the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?”

  •  “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”

  •  “Beer commercials usually show big men, manly men, doing manly things: ‘You’ve just killed a small animal. It’s time for a light beer.’ Why not have a realistic beer commercial, with a realistic thing about beer, where someone goes, ‘It’s five o’clock in the morning. You’ve just pissed on a dumpster. It’s Miller time.'”

  •  “I went to rehab [for alcoholism] in wine country, just to keep my options open.”

  •  “I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was… a large Arctic region covered with ice.”

Di (amina046)

From: Di (amina046)

9/15/19

Latest of the "Now that's what I call music" CD's issued in the UK
Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

9/16/19

Rodney Dangerfield


  • “My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.”

  • “I came from a real tough neighbourhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.”

  • “I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.”

  • “My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.”

  • “I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.”

Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

9/17/19

All I see is "image preview".

Can you try again?

Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

9/18/19

Dylan Moran

  • “What are children anyway? Midget drunks. They greet you in the morning by kneeing you in the face and talking gibberish. They can’t even walk straight.”

  • “I can’t swim. I can’t drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake?”

  •  “I don’t do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I’m not expecting it.”

  •  “It’s easy to smile when you have a squirrel’s intellect.”

  • “I don’t have lungs anymore! Just two spare bags that flew in under a bridge one day.”

  •  “I’m a vegetarian, well I’m not hardcore because I eat meat, but only because I like the taste, and I hate vegetables on a personal level so I’m not too good!”

  •  “I’m a quitter. I come from a long line of quitters. It’s amazing I’m here at all.”

  •  “It should not be an act of social disobedience to light a cigarette. Unless you’re actually a doctor working at an incubator.”

  •  “You’re supposed to eat the cows. They’re great big lumbering stupid things – they’d be everywhere if we didn’t eat them.”

Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

9/19/19

Frankie Boyle

  • “Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot but look at him now! Alcoholic and a racist!”

  • “Don’t you think its quite weird for Prince Harry, getting really stoned and seeing your grans face appearing on your money.”

  • “I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on the train or bus and think, I’m fucking havin that!'”

  • “In the event of a cabin failure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and untangling them will annoy you before you die.”

  • “When I went to school, sex education was mainly muttered warnings about the janitor.”

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