Confused malcontents swilling Chardonnay while awaiting the Zombie Apocalypse.
Those are great!
Words of Wisdom?
THE NEW ME
I used to think I was just a regular person, but I was born white, which
now, whether I like it or not, makes me a racist.
I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today's standards, makes me a fascist.
I am heterosexual, which now makes me a homophobe.
I am mostly non-union, which makes me a traitor to the working class and an ally of big business.
I am retired, which makes me useless.
I think and I reason, therefore I doubt much that the mainstream media
tells me, which must make me a reactionary.
I am proud of my heritage, which makes me a xenophobe.
I value my safety and that of my family, I do not have guns but I appreciate the
police and the legal system, which makes me a right-wing extremist.
I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to
each individual's merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist.
I believe in the defense and protection of my country and I
honor those who served in the Armed Forces, which now makes me a right wing-militant.
Please help me come to terms with the new me because I'm just not sure who I am anymore!
Funny that it's all just taken place over the last 7 or 8 years!
As if all of this nonsense wasn’t enough to deal with, now I’m not even sure which toilet to use!
Not even I could rephrase it better.
I'm most of those things too.
THE AUTHOR IS NOT KNOWN. IT WAS FOUND IN THE BILLFOLD OF COACH PAUL BEAR BRYANT, ALABAMA, AFTER HE DIED IN 1982
The Magic Bank Account
Imagine that you had won the Following *PRIZE* in a contest:
Each morning your bank would deposit £86,400 In your private account for your use..
However, this prize has Rules:
The set of Rules:
1.. Everything that you didn't spend during each day would be taken away from you.
2.. You may not simply transfer money into some other account.
3.. You may only spend It.
4.. Each morning upon awakening, The bank opens your account with another £86,400 for that Day.
5.. The bank can end the game without warning; at any time, it can say, Game Over!" It can close the account And you will not receive a new one.
What would you personally Do?
You would buy anything and Everything you wanted right? Not only for yourself, but for all the people you love and care for. Even for people you don't know,
because you couldn't possibly spend it all on yourself, right?
You would try to spend every penny, and use it all, because you knew it would be replenished in the morning, right?
ACTUALLY, This GAME is REAL... Shocked ??? YES!
Each of us is already a winner Of this *PRIZE*. We just can't seem to see it.
The PRIZE is *TIME*
1.. Each morning we awaken to Receive 86,400 seconds As a gift of Life.
2.. And when we go to sleep at Night, any remaining time is Not credited to us.
3.. What we haven't used up that Day is forever lost.
4.. Yesterday is forever Gone.
5.. Each morning the account is Refilled, but the bank can dissolve your account at any time WITHOUT WARNING...
SO, what will YOU do with your 86,400 seconds?
Those seconds are worth so much More than the same amount in dollars.
Think about it and remember to Enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker than You think.
So take care of yourself, be Happy, love deeply and enjoy life!
Here's wishing you a wonderful And beautiful day.
"DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT GROWING OLD !"
SOME PEOPLE DON'T GET THE PRIVILEGE!