Coalition of the Confused

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Confused malcontents swilling Chardonnay while awaiting the Zombie Apocalypse.

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Words Of Wisdom   The Lounge

Started 3/6/18 by Jenifer (Zarknorph); 142004 views.
PTG (anotherPTG)

From: PTG (anotherPTG)

Aug-25

AN OBITUARY PRINTED IN THE LONDON TIMES

 

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain;

Why the early bird gets the worm;

Life isn't always fair; and

Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;

I Know My Rights

I Want It Now

Someone Else Is To Blame

I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

 

Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

 Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds super rad if you don’t know what either of those things are.

katiek2

From: katiek2

Sep-7

Di, I didn't know you were a conservative!  PTG's post defines our feelings exactly.

Thank you, PTG.

Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

Mine too.

You'd be amazed what we have in common.

Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

When Sweden is playing Denmark, it is SWE-DEN. The remaining letters, not used, is DEN-MARK.

Di (amina046)

From: Di (amina046)

Sep-10

Observations of Wisdom  -=-  aka   Assorted  ‘Groans’ 
Venison for dinner again ? Oh deer !
• How does Moses make tea ? Hebrews it.
• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.
• I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic.  It’s syncing now.
• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
• I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
• When chemists die, they barium.
...[Message truncated]
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Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

Sep-11

Di (amina046) said:

• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.

From Stephen Fry:

"What blood type are you?"

"A"

"I said, what blood type are you?"

"O... B"

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