*Depression,, PTSD, Trauma* -  Why Do We Expect Apologies (50 views) Notify me whenever anyone posts in this discussion.Subscribe
 
From: dstone311 DelphiPlus Member IconJun-4 12:06 PM 
To: All  (1 of 2) 
 97284.1 

We want apologies.

We want whomever harmed us to say Wounded one, I never should have called you Chubster or let you sob as I stroked the postman or forgotten your existence for 25 years.

We want them to confess their calculated and casual cruelties, to crawl bare-kneed over sharp gravel after sleepless nights, skirling regret through sun-split lips.

Or even just say Sorry, once.

We'd call it justice.

Which is wired into human reasoning: Wrongdoers must be punished, because punishment is pain, suffered when they wonder: Do I deserve this?

Because I bullied the blind girl? Spat into the office coffeepot? Published nude pictures of my ex?

Oh yes.

We want our harmers to awaken and attempt amends. Real ones, not like when our ancestors gave burnt offerings to ostensibly angry gods: See how sorry I am for stealing Ragnar's corn? Remove this buboe, please.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/stuck/201906/why-do-we-expect-apologies

 

 
From: RGoss99Jun-15 6:53 PM 
To: dstone311 DelphiPlus Member Icon unread  (2 of 2) 
 97284.2 in reply to 97284.1 

I disagree, an apology is meaningless, unless it contains some sence that the person is aware that his behavior was not proper, and claim to avoid it in the future. Otherwise, it is just a lie your parents taught you to say, to get them off your back.

 

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