Evacuated on Sunday, but home now. Found a quiet spot to camp, just in the car with my dogs. I'm still pretty shaken by the whole ordeal..The worst for me was darkness in the afternoon; I could not figure out why it was dark ! Bright red sky but dark, and it freaked me out.
Friends and neighbours have lost their homes, and animals are roaming free and confused..cattle, horses, chickens, llamas, peacocks, turkeys, ducks, rabbits, dogs and cats..all the critters that live in these rural areas. Nothing is normal. I took in two dogs who are with their people again now, but they have no home to return to. I'm lucky, my house is still standing, but the yard is a mess..black smokey debris is everywhere. I've been busy trying to match dogs with owners and haven't slept much for a week. We have clear skies today but the fire is still near, ( 20 K away) and still out of control. One of the grateful dog dads offered me a shot of whiskey,and I took it without thinking. It was shocking and horrible.. don't know why I did that and vow to stay stronger.. this is no fucking time for a relapse.
Mask mandates are back in effect for this region; all the long term care homes were evacuated due to the fires as the virus rears it head yet again. Those poor people are put on busses, tested for covid, and shipped to other communities, some of which are also in danger so moving them more than once is also happening.
I am so very very tired. I've never welcomed autumn before, but this year I do. It's been a summer like no other. I felt strong and in control being sober, but now I feel helpless and insignificant while knowing sobriety is still my best defense.
I've been crying some.. from my own trauma but mostly for those in my community who have lost their homes. That is a profound horror IMO. Then I watch the news about Kabul, and cry even more, partly in shame when I compare. Makes me despair even more for our world.
Anyway, I'm home, I still have a home, and I am sober. Grateful for that.