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Sobriety/Recovery Journals -  Rex's 2nd Time Around Volume 2 (35106 views) Notify me whenever anyone posts in this discussion.Subscribe
From: mkh106 Posted by host9/8/12 9:54 PM 
To: Rex (rcclark99)  (19 of 815) 
 3053.19 in reply to 3053.18 


doing something to get out of that headspace is a good move. and you made it. you moved away. took charge of what you could do.

i've found that for me, the rare "gottadrink!!" reaction is kind of like some knee-jerk response to intense emotion. especially missing. missing can be bloody miserable! can make nothing much else seem to matter.

keep going, Rex. consider people's suggestions. use your contacts. keep posting. step back.



From: Rex (rcclark99) Posted by host9/8/12 10:39 PM 
To: Firenailer  (20 of 815) 
 3053.20 in reply to 3053.15 

Sorry about the calls Bob. I have missed them and meant to call you back but just haven't done it yet. I apologize.

I attended my men's group on Wednesday. It is always hard work for me emotionally but was really interesting this week. I had missed the meetings of the last month because of the health issues.

It just seems odd to me that for the last year I have had little or no cravings of any kind and just as everything seems to be righting itself the cravings come back for three straight days.

Thank you for your calls and your thoughts. Please don't give up calling. I promise to try and answer.



From: Rex (rcclark99) Posted by host9/8/12 10:42 PM 
To: Rae (raeanne51)  (21 of 815) 
 3053.21 in reply to 3053.16 

I'm not going to drink Rae but did find it interesting. I'm always so happy to hear you're doing well. These cravings have lasted longer than most but nothing I can't handle. Thanks as always for your thoughts.

Love you too,



From: Rex (rcclark99) Posted by host9/8/12 10:50 PM 
To: mkh106  (22 of 815) 
 3053.22 in reply to 3053.19 

missing can be bloody miserable! can make nothing much else seem to matter.

Yes, it kind of caught me off guard margit. I wasn't prepared for the intensity of it.

I went and saw a movie tonight for the second night in a row instead of going to the bar next door to the theater and found I kind of enjoy going alone. No distractions, no need to chat.......you really watch the movie. lol

But I'm ready for her to come home now. ;-)



From: marylouise509/9/12 12:23 AM 
To: Rex (rcclark99)  (23 of 815) 
 3053.23 in reply to 3053.14 
I'm with Margit on that crash after  going through turmoil and crisis -- some of it may be needing to decompress in some way because so much has happened.

Rex, get to a meeting (LR or AA) if you find yourself at a loose end and stick close to sober friends.

From: Rex (rcclark99) Posted by host9/9/12 8:58 AM 
To: marylouise50  (24 of 815) 
 3053.24 in reply to 3053.23 

Hi Mary,

I went to a movie last night and think I may be past the worst part. I'm feeling much calmer and relaxed today although it is still early.

Today is the beginning of our National Football League season in the U.S. so I will be glued to the tv for part of the day and later in the afternoon may take a short motorcycle ride to dinner somewhere.

I will not drink. I have too much time, work and emotion invested in my sobriety to throw it away because of a few days of craving.

I am in the midst of life changes on several fronts and cannot afford to screw things up by reintroducing alcohol into the mix. That would just be a horrible way to end this story



From: Susan (swl755)9/9/12 11:45 AM 
To: Rex (rcclark99)  (25 of 815) 
 3053.25 in reply to 3053.24 
Just popping in at the tail end of this discussion and glad to hear the cravings are lessening. 

Quite a few people have talked about getting cravings after a period of stress, rather than during.  Rae's description of reverting to [old] normal patterns makes sense to me, all those years we'd come home from a particularly horrible day at work, kick off our shoes, and say, God, I need a drink!  Decompression.

What good news that the subdural hematoma is finally going away.  And good news that you're in a relationship you like so much.  Sounds like things are really looking up for you in all kinds of ways, Rex.  Just one word of advice from this corner:  don't screw it up! 

xx/Susan, ever helpful

From: Firenailer9/9/12 3:02 PM 
To: Rex (rcclark99)  (26 of 815) 
 3053.26 in reply to 3053.20 

No worrys or apologies needed. I'll get you on the line soon. It all seems pretty normal to me. You've been through the ringer, and you have to be emotionally shot. Add your friend's going to Italy and some emptyness or lonliness, and the craving isn't so surprising.

Sober 1 year or 30, your still human, and the same things still make you tick. Who wouldn't sit back after all that and not think a drink sure would taste good? But we know it wouldn't be one drink, and it wouldn't be that good, and it's just not worth messing with. Life is just so much easier and better without it. Why F$%k it all up for a drink?

Your friend will be back soon, keep yourself well until she gets home, and reach out to friends when you need to. BUT DON'T DRINK! Now get up, go out to the garage and tinker with the new bike. Change the oil, wash it and wax it, hook up the GPS, whatever....

Just keep yourself moving and busy with everyday life stuff for awhile until this passes.

I'll see you back here in a couple of months when I hit my first year sober!


From: NCorbett39/9/12 3:46 PM 
To: Rex (rcclark99)  (27 of 815) 
 3053.27 in reply to 3053.26 
Hi Rex
All that matters is that you did the right things - came here and talked about it, went to movies etc.  I totally identify with wanting to drink AFTER getting through some tough period.  Perfectly normal for this alcoholic.  Just take good care of yourself and keep doing what you're doing; staying sober no matter what.
love, nancy xxx

From: Rex (rcclark99) Posted by host9/9/12 8:43 PM 
To: Susan (swl755)  (28 of 815) 
 3053.28 in reply to 3053.25 

Just one word of advice from this corner: don't screw it up!

LOLOLOL. Thank you Susan. No reason to beat around the proverbial bush, just come out and say it.

I do not know where this relationship is going but so far it has been very good for both of us, I think.

I'm not sure what caused me to lose my way for the last couple of years in the relationships with the opposite sex arena, but lose my way I did. I was not honorable in dealing with my marriage and others and have hurt people who didn't deserve it.

Besides all the doctors I've dealt with in the last few months, I have continued to see my therapist and belong to a men's group dealing with intimacy. So, I am doing my best not to screw it up. She is a wonderful woman and deserves to have a sober, honest and honorable companion and I'm doing my best to provide that.



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