Jenifer (Zarknorph)

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A forum devoted to the FTP game Midnight Castle. All formats and platforms. Find Friends, learn tips and tricks, read strategy guides, ask for help or just kick back in Fletcher's Tea Room and dodge the odd explosion.

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Post your jokes here   Fun and Games

Started 4/20/18 by PTG (anotherPTG); 153186 views.
PTG (anotherPTG)

From: PTG (anotherPTG)

4/20/18

The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so naughty during the week that her mother decided to give her the worst kind of punishment. She told her she couldn't go to the Sunday School Picnic on Saturday.

When the day came, her mother felt she had been too harsh and changed her mind. When she told the little girl she could go to the picnic, the child's reaction was one of gloom and unhappiness.

"What's the matter? I thought you'd be glad to go to the picnic." her mother said.

"It's too late!" the little girl said. "I've already prayed for rain."

TinyFaerie

From: TinyFaerie

4/20/18

LOL

Thanks I needed that.  Great idea.

PTG (anotherPTG)

From: PTG (anotherPTG)

4/20/18

As Jenifer knows only too well, I have LOADS more!

They are not originals but  rom many sources, some of which may be familiar to you.

For example: "have you heard about the one with the....."

OR:

You I was in the six item express lane at the store quietly fuming.
Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward, looked into the cart and asked sweetly, “So which six items would you like to buy?”

In reply toRe: msg 3
PTG (anotherPTG)

From: PTG (anotherPTG)

4/20/18

Just one more for now!

Three friends from the local congregation were asked, "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?”
Artie said, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."
Eugene commented, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives.."Al said, "I'd like them to say, 'Look, he's moving!'"
In reply toRe: msg 4
PTG (anotherPTG)

From: PTG (anotherPTG)

4/20/18

I must stop now from rummaging around my files!

I will wet myself if I carry on!

Spanish Oysters

An Australian stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Madrid.

While sipping his wine, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table.

Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.

He asked the waiter, 'What is that you just served?'

The waiter replied, 'Si Senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!'   The Australian said, 'I will have the same please.'    The waiter replied, 'I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.'   The following day he returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.   After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, 'These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.'   The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied,

'Si, Senor.    Sometimes the bull wins."

Oh I can see this is going to be a page I visit often!!!!

PTG (anotherPTG)

From: PTG (anotherPTG)

4/20/18

Don't encourage me. It is my bedtime (11:20 pm here now)!

OK just one more!

Gotta love us seniors
During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, " How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?" 
"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub." 
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup.."
"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug.
  - Do you want a bed near the window?" 

DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE? :

LMAO, thanx - I needed that!

it's 6:26 PM here. Work day done. Martini poured, now I can breeeeaaatth

Have you been to our local Chat 'N Choose meeting?    They have the same jokes.

PTG (anotherPTG)

From: PTG (anotherPTG)

4/21/18

Oh dear!

I didn't realise where they had come from.

I do not know the "Chat ....". Where can I fiind it?

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