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AS I WIPE MY FACE YUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK THEN LOOK DOWN AT MY BOOTS DISGUSTING I WALK OVER TO WHAT I THINK IS A PUDDLE AS I GET CLOSER AND TAKE A STEP *** TO LATE***
I GET A WHIFF #$%^&*()_+_)(*&^%$#@@#$%^&*( PLUNK MY BOOT LANDS IN A PUDDLE YEP YOU GUESSED IT **** URINE *** CRAP ON A CRACKER OR SHOULD I SAY PEE ON A BOOT.
I TEAR OFF MY BOOT AND SOCK AND TRY NOT TO BARF.
I SNARL AT OPEL .......
As I calm down a tad I toss the towel at Opel to wipe the tears from laughing so hard ,,,,,,
Oh lordly lordly I have not had such a belly laugh since Jen blew you out of the air ship and you where covered in black grim and oh that now famous Mohawk hair standing on end and little sparks flying.
I did have to chuckle it was sight,
We are startled by more loud bangs ,, a monkey,, Raven and is that an Owl? sounding like they are being killed.
Opel turns and points her huge rolling pin at Rhe Tea Room just as a pot comes flying out the door and lands at Miss Katt's feet.
Yes to all the above Cap and it all started after you left to the main camp.
Seems that crazy monkey got tired of swinging from the chandelier and started to toss things at the drunken skeleton then at the dice table then ne spotted PTG'S pet Raven garbed a candle from the chandelier and aimed at the Raven but as he let it fly one of his rings went with it and fell to the floor and of course the Raven and his lust for shiny things swooped down grabbed it and out the window towards The Te Room to show PTG leaving Salty cursing them out and putting out the small fire caused by the candle.
Now when the Raven landed in the rafters he bumped into PTG'S pet Owl waking him fro his nap then all hell broke loose.
Monkey ekkkk ekkking like a crazy maniac... Raven cawing so loud it hurts your ears and I tell you Cap never in all my born days have I heard an Owl s recce like that.
Then add Mss Katt with her fry pan and moi with my trusty rolling pin running for our lives from a crazy monkey and swooping Raven and Owl.
NOW GET IN THERE AND STOP THEM.
i Look at Opel excuse me? since when did I become come taker to NUT CASE monkey Crow and Owl,???
Salty is the one who is supposed to watch that flea bag and where in HELL is PTG???? That Crow and Owl are his pets?
Wait does every one think Charlie is reasonable ?
She in charge of **THE CRITTERS IN HER CARE** NOT OUR PERSONAL PETS...
Opel started to say what about your---- and I stopped her holding my hand up and saying DO NOT GO THERE..... she still tends Doggie because he loves her for saving his life and he is happy there and free to come and go but prefers to stay there with Charlie and his friends he has made,,,, and as far as my gang,,,, Blossom... Cherry,,,, Stump..... Fang....Smoke.... Sheba and there off spring... My Ellie and her brood are my friends NOT MY PETS.
Lets get off this because more then anyone you how I feel about all critters and that all are welcome here to stay if they wish or leave.
I know Cap I am just so mad that our beautiful Tea Room is in shambles.
Opel I am here now and I will get things fixed right as rain here as I hand her my card you and Miss Katt go to Cloud City and treat your selves and when you return all will be right and treat your selves to a meal you do not have to cook so be off and I will take care of every thing here.
With giggles of glee they fly off on Snow not even thinking they will be on a Dragon lol.
I turn back to The Tea Room door as a pan comes zooming past my head,,,, @#$%^&*()(*& okay this is war as I tear off a shirt sleeve and wrap it around my bare foot *** those cobble stones are hard,,,,, grab the pot that was at Miss Katt's feet slap it on my head ( ouch ) take a huge breath and enter into hell.
I can not believe I am doing this willing but seeing Salty is not here and maybe I will find PTG AKA my doorknob tied by the crazy flea bag and hanging from the rafters or he hiding uner hie hospital bed in his huggie jacket.
Another squeal as butcher knife wizes by my head @#$%^&*()_+_)(*&^% OKAY THAT IS ENOUGH AS I HEAD TO AND SLAM OPEN THE DOOR but not before I catch a glimpse of the doors at the critter compound and there stands Charlie with her arms folded and leaning against the frame with a grin from ear to ear.... I see she is not alone **** GROAN **** on the other side leaning against the frame arms crossed a smile a milewide is yep Doc Felix
I feel my face turn red sheesh I could be used as a stop sign,
What she must think of me oh well no time to think about that I have a job to do.
Yummpin Yimeney and mouth drops almost to yhe floor...
It looks like a bomb went off here and bits of fur and feathers all over the place.
THIS IS CAP NOW KNOCK IT OFF ***** WHAMMMMMMMMMMMMM *** I am knocked on my arse by a dive bombing Raven craponacracker leave it to me to grab a very shiny pot /// idgit
Crow = shiny item= Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I get up and see the stupid bird knocked himself out ... better him than me.
Rut rouh as I duck the Owl he lands in the rafters I yell STAY THERE DO NOT MOVE ,,,
I turn to face the eeekkk eeeekkking teeth bared monkey holding an apple,
DON'T YOU DARE DROP IT NOW...
i look for cover seeing head is pot less and he is very close.
Luck is on my side I spot his ring at my feet ,,,, hey buddy look what I found now you be a good boy and let me get it for you and all will be good okay??
I see him relax a tad and keeping my eyes glued to him I grab the ring.
Here you go boy come to Cap .. he jumps on my shoulder drops the apple and takes his ring .
Okay boy lets get you back to Salty he hugs my face as we walk out the door.
I slop and slap on the wet grass at least there is not gravel to cut my bare foot and no I do NOT want to know why the grass is so wet been no rain as far as i know.
I hear her voice behind me and my heart skips a beat.
Good morning Captain Randy I would be careful where you step if I were you *giggles*
I stop to face her and can hear my heart beat faster and face go red.... good morning to you to Doctor Felix and why may I ask would that be?
Well after that strange storm we had with things flying around birds,pigs,sheep,and bird houses,ducks and wooden horses and and every thing else,,, I have never seen anything like that in all my travels,,
laugh and say well you are in a strange place in Midnight Castle and there is more to come in the fall and winter is something to behold.
One day I will tell you all about our strange home.
Well why not today if that is okay with you.
I blush just to think about spending time with her.... sounds good but I will make it short and fill you in on more later seems I have a huge clean up to do before Opel and Miss Katt return and have to get this lil guy back to Salty,s he is tuckered out.
We walk up to my favorite spot under my lill tree and sit down ,,,, I pet Champ,s head as he is shacking .
It,s okay Champ yes I named you that it is okay we are just going to sit here a bit and he looked at Melodie and jumped from my shoulder to her chest ( lucky boy lol)
She held him and talked softly telling him he is safe .. he gave a soft eek curled up and he fell asleep with his lill paw on her cheek.
We looked at each other and said at the same time what a precious baby he must have been so scared with that Raven and Owl attacking him he could have been badly hurt.
We talked for a few hours then I said I am sorry Doctor Felix I have to get going but can we pick this up at a later date?
But of course Captain Randy I do enjoy talking with you and want to learn all about this wonderful place and please call me Melodie.
Fantastic and please call me Cap or Randy ,,,,, she smiled and said Randy it is.
We walked to the tavern Melodie still holding a sleeping Champ.
We enter the Tavern and I introduce Salty to Melodie as Doctor Felix... pleased to meet you and ye be welcome here any time.
Thank you and pleased to meet you as well and for the invitation.
You can put Champ up there that is were he stays and hangs down when a player plays his ZZ == I will explain later just as I say that the Drunken Skeleton opens his cloak and takes a drink that you can see flow all over his clock lol he is a Skeleton after all and a ZZ,
Melodie laughs and puts Champ on the chandelier just as he wakes up I hand him a banana pet his head and say see you soon .
Salty takes the time to lean over and say wow Cap what a looker you sea dog how did ye get so lucky and does she have a sister?
I glare at him WATCH IT RUM BREATH as I wink at him as we leave back to the Tea Room.
Melodie and I arrive back to the critters compound where Charlie is tending her hungry group.
Hey Charlie we are back .
Wow what a mess outside , Melodie tells me we had a Spring storm.
She scowls at me yeah and they are getting worse makes you nervous about fall and you better not be off in the wild blue yonder .
Watch it you know I have no control over that and would you like to tell Th golden Queen that I am busy and can not go right then and there?
I get the death stare and turn to Melodie== told you she was a fire cracker but we all love her and is a God send to us and the critters we would be lost with out her but don"t tell her that lol
I heard that you big galoot now get out of here I have work to do,, now scram.
Hold up Charlie feed the critters then stop the boys will do the rest cleaning up and what ever you tell them to do == BUT BUT == NO CHARLIE I MEAN IT you finish feeding them and the boys will be here .
She mumbles under her breath but she knows that tone in my voice.
Melodie asks Charlie if any more wounded animals have been brought in and any strays left to spade or neutered ?
Sure has she says I put them in a pen out back and the injured are laying on fresh hay.
Thank you Charlie I will attend to them right away,,, and Randy sorry but I have to go but can we meet later?
Supper will be at 7 in the Tea Room I am the cook tonight seeing Opel and Miss Katt will be dinning in Cloud City and will not be back till late.
Oh my you cook to? a man of many talents I see ... do I need an antacid LOL???
She walks away with Charlie before I can answer but do hear C harlie high five her *** good one ***
I rub my Amulet and call the boys compound ASAP AND I MEAN NOW.
I hear cussing as they get closer I smell BO and booze.
Anger bubbles up in my gut,,,
Yo Cap whatssssssssssssssss up bro??
My look could kill as I say to a stumbling Butch,,,, YO???? BRO???
I see you have been into the barrels again and good lord man when was the last time you showered??
Oh wait you passed the barrels and fell in???
And that mutton was passing over head and fell into your mouth.
Come here that is if you can walk and stand here,,,
I call Blossom and Cherry load up and come my beauties .
Butch,,, Brutus,,,, Hoss and Hans were so wasted it did not sink in what was about to hit them.
I stood behind Blossom and said fire at will,,,, the first stream hit them sending them arse over tea kettle ,, down the slope and into the pond.
As they fell in Ellie and her brood were happy to greet them,,, by there screams you thought they were being murdered / not to strong Ellie I need them sober not dead lol
I sat down took out my pipe and had a relaxing smoke as I watched Ellie and her brood have some fun ,,,, the boys eh not so much lol
MELODIE AND I LAUGH AS WE WALK AWAY, SHE ASKES CAN HE COOK? I SHRUG, I HAVE NO IDEA, BUT IF IT IS BAD OPAL AND KATT KEEP STUFF IN THE COOLER TO EAT. THEY ALWAYS HAVE COLD MEAT FOR SANDWICHES AND FOR HONEY FIRE MY FIRELIZARD. SO WE SHOULD BE OK.
AFTER I HAVE FINISHED FEEDING THE REST OF THE ZOO, NOT THAT THERE WERE MANY LEFT. BABY AND BEAU LET ME KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON DOWN BY THE MOAT. I LOOKED AND YELLED TO CAP. DON'T FORGET THE SOAP. NOT SURE WHEN THEY LAST HAD A BATH.
I LET BABY AND BEAU JOIN BLOSSOM AND CHERRY.
I HAD WONDERED WHERE THOSE GUY HAD GOTTEN TO AFTER THE STORM. THEY HAD EARNED SOME TIME OFF. I HAD FIGURED THEY HAD GONE BACK TO JACOB'S GUESS NOT.
I HAD LET MY GUYS GO TO CHECK ON THE GNOMES TO MAKE SURE THEY WERE OK. NOT THAT THEIR FAMILIES CARED MUCH IF THEY CAME. SINCE THEY HAD GOTTEN STUCK IN THE HUMAN SIZE AND COULD NOT CHANGE BACK. THE GNOMES HAD SENT THEM AWAY. TO BIG FOR THE MINES AND TUNNELS.
WELL I WAS GLAD TO HAVE THEM. THEY WORKED HARD AND NEVER ASK FOR MUCH.
WELL LOOKS LIKE I HAD BETTER START CLEANING UP, NOT SURE THOSE GUYS WILL BE ANY HELP.
AND IF THEY DO MAKE IT TO THE BARN IN SOME CONDITION TO WORK. THEY CAN DO THE KENNELS AND CATTERY.
I GOT THE BARROW AND PITCHFORK AND STARTED WITH BABY AND BEAU'S AREA THEN I WOULD DO DOOGIE AND GOLDIE.
I just barely made the deadline for getting my story into tomorrow's paper. I'm starving so I'll just stop by the Tea Room to catch a quick snack before supper tonight. As I approach, I see a commotion going on in the pond and I see Cap sitting on the sidelines enjoying his pipe and having a good belly laugh. Wait! Cap?!
Cap! You're back! When did you get back? How did it go with the Queen? What were you able to find out? Where's Jewel and Brulee? And, what's going here? Why are your guys in the pond with Ellie and her brood giving them what for?
Cap holds up his hand and says, whoa there, slow down, and take a breath. It's good to see you too. Sorry, Cap, welcome back! And, I didn't mean to bombard you with questions like that. I just left work so my brain is still in reporter mode. LOL
I'm just on my way to the Tea Room for a snack before supper. Come join me and tell me everything.......
Okay out of the pond and stand straight if you can.
Hans lets out a yelp as on of the brood gives him a farewell nip.
I look over at the en closer and see Charlie pushing the wheel barrel man that woman is mule headed never listens so I yell over== Charlie what did I say?? knock it off .... take Melody to Cloud City and show her the sights and hook up with Opel and Miss Katt.
She gives me a back handed wave like yeah yeah lets hope Melody can get her go.
The boys stand before me heads hung low and saying sorry Cap .
So this is what you do when I am away??
Wen the Cap is away the boys play??
The boys I count on to keep things in order and everyone safe?
What would you have done if there had been a breech?
Pup is in Pern earning her battle band,,, PTG well I still do not know where he is and Angel well ,,,, oh there she is hold on a sec Angel but she is so excited she going off like a machine gun.
Ok Ok slow down let me finish with this mess then we can head to the Tea Room.
I growl at my boys ... first get your sorry arses to to the compound and do EXACTLY what Charlie tells you to do, I want that place spotless ,then same thing for the court yard,, clean up ALL the crap and take care of that storm mess,, Jacob and the neighbors will help with what has to be butchered and what ones are hurt Doc. Felix will handle that.
Okay Cap on it now after we clean up... no no no not so fast clean up what I said then and only then you will go and shower and burn those discussing cloths you will not step a foot into the Tea Room until you are also spotless you know Opel's nose.
The Tea Room is to be put back the way it was every thing and in it's place and any and repairs to be done.
Now move it you do not have much time .
Angel and watch as they tear of to the compound .
Man Cap you put the fear of Charlie and Opel in them lol
Okay all yours as we head to The Tea Room,,,, I need a drink after all that but I am macking supper tonight so tea it is.
What do think,, roast pig,,lamb chops... a roast.. mutton stew,,, or beef stew?
I had Angel sit at a table that was not over turned or full of feathers and smashed fruit.
Be right back how about a cold drink?
Lets see f Opel has any of that fruit punch she makes man it is good,,, I grab the jug and two clean frosty jugs .
We drink and feel Opel's golden liquid hit the spot .
I fill Angel in about my visit to our Queen and show her the part of the map and what I am to do to gather all the parts that will get me where TLOD is hiding.
She said he is in a weakened state and trying to gather more fighters and more black evil.
So I have a huge quest and will nee the whole map and lots of help... seems every one we know has a part of the map and are waiting to help me like Annabelle,, Shadow... and get this even Arabella .
I also tell her about Pup that will be back very soon as the Queen says she is almost ready to take her rightful place as Snow;s rider Pup does not know that part lol she thinks she is doing special training .
I wish I could tell Angel her part of it but right now I am sworn by The Queen.
I look at my pocket watch ,,,wow getting late have to start dinner,,, just then my boys come in and looking and smelling like new born babes.
They report all is clean and repaired out side ... and the animals ask? yes Cap as you said but the cold and ice storage is full to bursting do you want us to do that now??
No no time now get the Tea Room done first and make sure it is done right ,,, then come in the kitchen there be peeling to be done I will start the meat now geterdone.
I KNEW IT, CAP YELLS AT ME TO STOP, I GUESS HE THINKS THE BOYS ARE SOBER ENOUGH TO WORK. I HOPE SO. I TELL THEM TO FINISH CLEANING STALLS AND PUT DOWN FRESH BEDDING FOR THE ANIMALS. THEN CLEAN THE CATTERY AND MAKE SURE NOT TO MIX THEIR LITTER WITH THE STRAW FROM THE STABLE SIDE. MAKE SURE THE DOG HAVE NOT LEFT SMALL UNWANTED PRESENTS ON THE FLOOR OF THE KENNEL. THEN FEED AND WATER EVERYONE.
I HEAD FOR THE PENS WHERE MELODY IS TENDING TO THE INJURED FROM THE STORM.
MELODY, CAP SAID WE COULD JOIN OPAL AND KATT IN CLOUD CITY FOR SUPPER.
SHE GRINS, WELL AT LEAST WE DON'T HAVE TO FIND OUT IF THE MAN CAN COOK. CAN'T SAY I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO EITHER OVER COOKED OF UNDERCOOKED FOOD. I AM TIRED AND HUNGRY. SHE WASHED UP AFTER LOOKING AT, AND TENDING THE INJURED IN THE PEN. SHE LOOKED AT HER CLOTHES. THEY WERE A BIT ON THE DIRTY SIDE. I GRINNED AND SAID NOT TO WORRY, IT JUST SHOWS YOU ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING BESIDES SIT AROUND AND LOOK PRETTY. I MYSELF WASN'T THE CLEANEST. AND MY BOOTS, WELL LETS JUST SAY THE WERE NOT CLEAN. BUT WE WORK WITH ANIMALS AND THEY DO NOT CARE IF WE ARE SHINY AND BRIGHT. THEY JUST LIKE US OR NOT ANY WAY WE COME.
MELODY AND I TOOK OFF FOR CLOUD CITY. MORE OR LESS HAPPY ABOUT MISSING DINNER AT THE TEA ROOM.