Jenifer (Zarknorph)

The Midnight Castle Forum On Delphi

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A forum devoted to the FTP game Midnight Castle. All formats and platforms. Find Friends, learn tips and tricks, read strategy guides, ask for help or just kick back in Fletcher's Tea Room and dodge the odd explosion.

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Post your jokes here   Fun and Games

Started 4/20/18 by PTG (anotherPTG); 181289 views.

I love it! 

Here we have spiders that are literally 4" across!!!

I feel just like that giraffe, but it falls on ME to snuff said spiders. They always come out at night when hubby is asleep.

And to anyone who may object - these are steathy, stalking predators & very poisonous.  

PTG (anotherPTG)

From: PTG (anotherPTG)

4/27/18

Jenifer on the right!

Oh! I love it!

Kitties are the universe's highest achievement, I think sometimes.  

PTG (anotherPTG)

From: PTG (anotherPTG)

4/27/18

OK another one: the 'animal satnav'!

Posted by kiwidownunder in the BFG Forum:

Medic Alert (added link with Amethyst permission) 

The Centre For Disease Control Has Issued A Medical Alert About A Highly Contagious ,Potentially Dangerous Virus That Is Transmitted Orally,By Hand And Even Electronically !! 
This Virus Is Called Weary Overload Recreational Killer { Work}.If You Receive WORK 
From The "Chamberlain'Or The Iron Knight Or Anyone Else Via Means Whatsoever-DO NOT TOUCH IT ...This Viruse Will Wipe Out Your Private Life Completely 
If You Should Come Into Contact With WORK You Should Immediately Leave The Premise's...Take Two Good Friends To The Nearest Grocery Store And Purchase One Or Both Of The Antidotes =Work Isolateing Neutralizer Extract [Wine] And Boothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter [Beer]..Take The Antidote Repeatedly Until WORK Has Been Completely Eliminated From Your System ....Thankyou ,Doctor Gandalf 

TinyFaerie

From: TinyFaerie

4/28/18

Also please be sure and drop in his thread there on BF while you are over there

Share Memories on the Party Down Forum

Just click on it I learned how to do hyperlinks YAY!!!!

I think these stories should be immortalized there before the doors close.

Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

4/28/18

How To Give A Cat A Pill

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand… As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later…

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

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