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Post your jokes here   Fun and Games

Started 4/20/18 by PTG (anotherPTG); 165476 views.
In reply toRe: msg 780
KathyVesnik

From: KathyVesnik

Sep-2

Pollen: When flowers can't keep it in their plants.

In reply toRe: msg 781
KathyVesnik

From: KathyVesnik

Sep-2

Oh, and in reply to the poem illustrating the ridiculousness of the English language:

English isn't a language. It's three languages stacked on top of each other wearing a trenchcoat.

In reply toRe: msg 782
KathyVesnik

From: KathyVesnik

Sep-2

One more because I feel like I'm not the only one in this forum who can relate to this:

Attachments
KNIMtheTOAD

From: KNIMtheTOAD

Sep-4

Remember "TAXI" ? Christopher LLoyd's

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S RIGHT. I DON'T WHAT'S WRONG. I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON." 

It's the right comment in so many area's. I also had a saying used a lot. I can only remember the punch line. 

...............WHEN YOU FEEL DOWN AND OUT LIFT UP YOUR HEAD AND SHOUT "OH SHIT!"    Friends will help the crowed will get out of the way.

Laugh everyone it is good for you. TOAD/Otter/MOUSE

KatieAn56

From: KatieAn56

Sep-6

When my nephew started first grade, he came home and told his Mom he did not need to go back to school.  She asked him why? He said well, they're teaching colors, numbers and reading and I know how to do all of that. 

LvlSlgr

From: LvlSlgr

Sep-24

Not really a joke, but you might get a chuckle out this.

Di (amina046)

From: Di (amina046)

Sep-27

 

Remember Slow Food?  'Someone asked the other day, 'What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?'
 
'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up, I informed him. 'All the food was slow.'
 
'C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?'
 
'It was a place called 'at Home,'' I explained. !
'Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.'
 
By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.
 
But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it :
 
 
 
Some parents NEVER owned their own house, never wore Levis, never set foot on a golf course, never traveled out of the country or had a credit card.  In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at  Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears & Roebuck.  Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.
 
My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer.
 
I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed.(Slow).                                                                                                                        
 
We didn't have a television in our house until I was 11.
It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it came back on the air at about 6 a.m. And there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people.
 
I was 19 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called 'pizza pie.' When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned. It's still the best pizza I ever had.
 
 
I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.
 
Pizzas were not delivered to our home.  But milk was.
 
All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers 
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