Jenifer (Zarknorph)

The Midnight Castle Forum On Delphi

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A forum devoted to the FTP game Midnight Castle. All formats and platforms. Find Friends, learn tips and tricks, read strategy guides, ask for help or just kick back in Fletcher's Tea Room and dodge the odd explosion.

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Post your jokes here   Fun and Games

Started 4/20/18 by PTG (anotherPTG); 270033 views.
In reply toRe: msg 917
Myelle (Myelle01)

From: Myelle (Myelle01)

May-8

You can own your own volcano. Update: I thought this was a joke but it isn’t. The land really is up for sale. Also, there is talk of development to make this an even better tourist trap.

https://youtu.be/pdqYaGJVQ00

The Icelandic Volcano is Now For Sale - Hottest Deal in the World

The new Icelandic volcano is now for sale and biddings have already started according to the hottest news of today. Here is my view on this latest info but e...

In reply toRe: msg 918
LvlSlgr

From: LvlSlgr

May-12

Calvin & Hobbes

May be a cartoon of text that says 'DAD, HOW DO PEOPLE MAKE BABIES? MOST PEOPLE JUST GO TO SEARS, BUY THEKIT, AND FOLLON THE ASSEMBLY INSTRUCTONS. ICAME NO, YOU WERE A DEAR, WHAT ARE FROM BLUE LIGHT SPRCIAL AAUU YOU TELLING AT K MART. SEARS?? AS GOOD, AND A LOT CHEAPER. ALMOST GHHH! CALVIN NOW?! @'

Yesterday I noticed a local bar had expanded its outdoor patio area so I went to their Facebook page to see if anything was posted about it. Nothing there but I did find this........

I'll add them to my Zombie Apocalypse Survival Kit................

See the source image

LvlSlgr

From: LvlSlgr

Jun-2

Grandpa and the IRS Auditor

The IRS decided to audit Grandpa, and summoned him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, “Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.”

“I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,” says Grandpa. “How about a demonstration?”

The auditor thinks for a moment and says, “OK. Go ahead.”

Grandpa says, “I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.”

The auditor thinks a moment and says, “It’s a bet.”

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor’s jaw drops. Grandpa says, “Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.”

The auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet. 

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

“Want to go double or nothing?” Grandpa asks. “I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.”

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again. 

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor’s desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa’s attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

“Are you OK?” the auditor asks.

“Not really,” says the attorney. “This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you’d be happy about it.”

Don’t mess with old people!  
 

Msg 138.927 deleted
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