Jenifer (Zarknorph)

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The Special Room - Origins PART 1   Oh the Absurdity!

Started 4/29/18 by Jenifer (Zarknorph); 26412 views.
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From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

5/10/18

PAGE 8 CONTINUED

PTG

And we need some 101 strategy with planning maps, schedules and above all luck.  
Rootles around the sparse vegetation and finds one bedraggled 

RANDY

Throws a bucket at at Jenifer and a HOW TO 101 list fer dummies sheeesh iffin I kin reads it I am sure ya kin. 
And keep yer cotton pickin mitts offin me  grabs octopussie thunckin it be me bagpipes, arggggggggggggggggggggg women always movin me stuff around,,, 
Now where did ya hide me Pipe da one wiff da Wolfie on it?? grabs cloak on da druncken sailor ,,, bones go crashing to da floor opppppsie PTG needs yer broom here ,, 
Um Santa could ya put down da dice and move over just a smigggggin , nope not der,,, 
Spy's Salty tip over three mugs,, GRRRRRRRRRRRR dis be no time to play what's under da mug you drunckin gallot and iffin you hide me pipe under der ya be in fur it. 
Waves me Sai around like da maniac I is and screams where is me pipe? kin no thunck wiff out it,,,,,,,, and lost me story line Good Gravy,,,,,,,,, 

JENIFER

"Well Randy, the criminally insane do tend to get distracted easily." 

I notice orderlies peering in the Tavern window. "Found them!" One calls out. 

"Pre-op Cap'n Robo Randy for the love of God, finish the story!!!" I cry. "We don't have much time! Who is Murk? Look at PTG! See how desperate she is?!" 

PTG hits me with a broom. "I'm a MAN!" 

I am startled. "But... but... " I slowly extend my hand towards PTG's face. He slaps it away. 
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From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

5/10/18

PAGE 9

JENIFER

The orderlies and guards slowly surround pre-op Cap'n RoboRandy. It takes a while. 

"What da heck is you all doin surroundin MOI wif such stelf… and bats?!"

Pre-op Cap'n RoboRandy is set upon. The ensuing struggle upturns the dice table, Santa, PTG and all his carefully swept up Christmas baubles. 

"Oh well that just does it!" 

"PTG, NO! Don't eat your new broom!" I shuffle back into the corner where Abbi the seahorse hid in terror for so long. A stray snow globe rolls my way and I tuck it into my corset. I'm surprised it doesn’t look odd. I know what is coming, so kick one to PTG. He either understands, or just shoved it up his wedding dress for kicks. 

The monkey has officially had enough and leaps out through the window.

"Hey, you didn't pay your tab!" Salty runs after him. 

"There's no avoiding this Randy!" One orderly grunts as he's kicked in the face. Pre-op Cap'n RoboRandy is putting up a great fight! 

"You thunk I goin wif you, ya got a hed full a wet mice!" Pre-op Cap'n RoboRandy wails before a guard hits him over the head with a bat. "As I was saying, I'm quite scared and do not want to go with you and I'm asking you to respect my wishes and my personal space!" 

Through a thick mouthful of ice cream I cry "Don't hit him again!" 

But it's too late. "Git offa me! FROST! Where MOI rider?" 

"Oh for crying out loud…" 
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From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

5/10/18

PAGE 9 CONTINUED

JENIFER

I come to and find myself sitting on the floor in a circle with several other people and a man in a white coat. 

"Hi, I'm Nancy, and I've been addicted to Midnight Castle for about two years now." 

A dull, medicated chorus chants "Hi Nancy." 

Oh dear God not again! 

"At first I'd just play for a couple of hours a day... then it was like most of the weekend... then I'd start calling in sick... I mean I have to get gifts to everyone! And the shards! The shards! Trina wants them so I can get a key to open up a room - but I NEED the shards to furnish it! And she just wants more and more! And the Unique stamps NEVER drop! Where are they all? Who has them all? Do you?! You have them! Turn out your pockets! Do it!" 

While Nancy randomly accuses and attacks her fellow group therapy participants two orderlies sneak up, sedate her and carry her back to her cell. 

The doctor turns to me. "Alright Jenifer, now that you're awake, lets talk about-" 

"No!" I fold my arms to show I'm serious. 

"-let's talk about-" 

"No!" 

"-about the past events-" 

"No!" 

"-many things have happened-" "No!" "-over the last few days-" "No!" "-We have to talk about this!" 
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From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

5/10/18

PAGE 9 CONTINUED

PTG

Oooooo! She is such a feisty creature and soooo bossy!  

Doesn’t she realize that I am the alpha male here; even if I am wearing a lovely tailor made white robe that to her looks like a wedding dress.  

On her it would be such a dress but on me it is a white robe (with a few adornments). 

 [Now that we have got that sorted out in our worthy saga, let us proceed]  

I will admit that she is very good at picking up stray bits and pieces that are left over from the HOS. She has managed to acquire quite an assortment of useless junk.  

I repair (what a wonderful use of the word!) to the Gnome’s Kitchen to get a spare broom and more importantly the miner’s pick, which I know will come in useful in the rescue of our dear incarcerated Randy.   

You see I have yet another “cunning plan”, which is fool proof. 
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From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

5/10/18

PAGE 10 CONTINUED

PTG

Now we all know that those orderlies can move quite quickly when they have to, and especially if they want to catch moi

But never have I seen two move so fast as they do when Jenny Wren lights the dynamite.   

I stand there full of admiration for her multifarious skills.  

And then the penny drops.  

She is next to me holding two sticks of lit dynamite    and our dear leader is still trapped under his bed puffing and panting declaiming previously unknown or unheard of expletives  

I catch a brief thought passing through my head: She must have a plan! 
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From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

5/11/18

Page 11

PTG

I have persuaded my partner to return to the Confessional with the promise of an ice cream (if it hasn’t all melted yet)  

As my ice-cream smitten partner licks and slurps on an ice cream cone with disgusting bits all over it  , I try to process all the extraordinary events and sights that we have just seen.  

There is something here that is just more than “afoot”. There is mega-evil of a kind I have not seen in a long time and certainly not in our wonderful home.  even  

There is even a special word for it: TECHNOLOGY!   

Snow globes are one thing – they are fantastical and contemporary  

Picture screens showing various bits of the Castle with hieroglyphics under them are entirely from another dimension.  

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From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

5/11/18

PAGE 11 CONTINUED

GRIM

In the workshop I give the password to the jeweler's assistant. In the back room is a door labeled "in case of elevators do not use fire." (You didn't think I would really say the password out loud where anyone could hear it - did you?) I've reached the compromised Cloud City tunnel. 

My phone buzzes with a text message. Cash the ferret wants to know the turn rotation if three people are playing double solitaire. I shove the phone away. 

I traverse the tunnel, looking for any tears in the local universum, or signs of actual physical construction of lairs (secret, evil or otherwise). Nothing, just a tunnel with nice stonework, lit by the occasional light bulb. Except by now I should have reached the intersection for the passage to the Dream Palace, and it isn't here. 

I pull out the phone to access its location finder. Wait, what was Cash doing in the Griffin Stall? For that matter, where am I? The coordinates don't match up to any MC location I recognize - totally off the grid. Immediately I backtrack to the jeweler's workshop, and that entrance is missing as well. Just smooth stonework, as far as I can see. Which isn't very far as the tunnel now ends abruptly. 

I'm lost in an uncharted tunnel, and I may not even be in the MC world anymore.

PTG

Well there is no way that I can catch up with Jenny Wren, when she is on a mission.  
And the fact that she also seems to be screaming (literally) mad doesn’t help either. 

Having a partner is a difficult thing but when I contemplate the meaning of the word “partner” she falls into none of the categories that I am aware of : 
Raving lunatics, bedaubed in flotsam and jetsam from the HOS scrap heap and wailing in tongues that my delicate ears have never come across before, are NOT partners.  

I sit on a nearby seat that has just floated into view (goodness me my telekinetic powers sometimes leave moi
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From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

5/11/18

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JENIFER

PogoRandy and I sit together in the ancient park with ice cream dripping down our lumpy heads. 

"Where's PTG?" I look around. "Didn't he come back?" 

Captain PogoRandy seems to be in some sort of trance. "Sir, yessir... don't upset the baby..." He seems to be suffering from multiple personality disorder. That's all we need! We'll never get the story. However his military persona is far more comprehensible. 

I crawl to the nearest snow globe, pick it up and shake it. "PTG? Bing?" It clears and I see the castle grounds. The denizens are stroppy. "I'm boooorred! When's the next update?" I grab another. "PTG! BING!" 

There is only darkness, but I hear a soft feminine voice. "Hello?" 

"Hello, who is that?" 

"My name is Grim- uh, not important" 

"NOT IMPORTANT?! Do you have any idea how many things rhyme with Grim?" I grab the closest lyre (I have a large collection in my sanctuary) 

Oh dear Grim, 
Things look very dim 
Singing is my whim, 
I also like to swim 

"Oh craponacracker idjit woman! Why der icie cream down moi's deli-cut face?" 

I turn to him "ATTENTION!" 
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From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

5/11/18

PAGE 12

JENIFER

'OH FOR FUC-" 

PTG wrangles me once more. I struggle and bite. My serious pony tail has become askew. 

I wrench free. "NO! Do you have ANY idea how many blood lotuses are required at my level?" 

"PREACH!" PTG snaps his fingers. I'm glad he's back. 

"I ACTUALLY put them on my wish list! I got THREE! LOVE my friends, but blew threw them in TWO days! You seriously want BLOOD LOTUSES?" 

In the distance we hear screaming from a locked pantry. 

We look to a still entranced Captain PogoRandy. "Well hellooo Penny! Where's Shadow?" 

I groan. "FINE! I'll do the rounds!" 

"Will you be okay alone?" PTG chews his broom. I touch his shoulder gently. "I'd never forget my PARTNER". 

He smiles. I strap on several more bells, bows and feathers and leap off into the night. 

I am accompanied by Cash - the ferret who taught me how to love. I feel serene in my quest. 

But I punch George Lucas in the face. "That's for Jar Jar!" 

GRIM

I watch the - discussion? - between PTG and Jenifer with bemusement. It's much easier to watch this on a monitor than in person. Just as confusing, though. 

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From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

5/11/18

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GRIM

I say to PTG, "You want to know why we need to hear Randy's history? Because it's different from the official Castle history. I'll listen to your history of the Castle, too, if you like, if you have one." PTG pretends to look away, omming. 

"I think the Castle is breaking. It keeps trying to repair itself, but that makes it worse. Individually, we can't see it. Once the Winter Garden changes to the Summer Garden you never go back to it, you think it’s gone. But for someone new to the Castle, the only scene they visit is the Winter Garden. Both Gardens exist in the same place at the same time, but most people can only visit one." 

Jenifer pounces on that. "MOST people?" Cash pops his head out of the tangle of her hair. 

Randy explodes in incoherence I don't know how to transcribe. I hope it wasn't the conclusion to his story. 

Jenifer snaps, "AttenSHUN!" and he stops. "I think he suffering from multiple personality disorder," she says. 

I say, "So… when you don't use a quest to travel to the Binding Egg, what's the best way to get to the Castle from the Town? I usually walk." 

Jenifer's jaw drops as she realizes that she unnecessarily went on rounds for a blood lotus. "But you get to keep the blood lotus!" I tell her. 

"No, you don't," says Randy to me, very clearly. We all stare at him in surprise. "You don't walk. You open up that hole in the air, that aperture thing, and you're going to do it right now, for us." 

I'm suddenly very nervous. "And where do you want to go?" 

"To the Special Room."

JENIFER

"No! NO MORE DOCTORS!" I run to sit on PTG's magical floating bench. "Take us to Portofino!" Nothing happens. "Aw this is broken!" 

PTG 'Ohms' beside me while his hands maliciously tear up an official looking letter. 
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