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"Pretty!" I get to my feet and adjust my tutu.
The confetti that was once the festive wrappings of all the presents sprinkles down like snow.
Snow that creates spot fires in random places.
"Prettier!" I smile, while people around me frantically search for buckets and fire extinguishers.
I notice PTG staring at me in disbelief.
Or possibly apoplectic rage.
Or he could have gas...
I shrug. "So, you want the good news or the bad news?"
PTG's broom engorges like an inappropriate erection and proceeds to sweep up random debris.
I don't wait for an answer, everyone wants the bad news first.
"I lost Grim. Last thing I remember we were eating pasta while on the run from some nefarious organization. She went through a door and I waited for about six months... but she never came back."
There is a sense of dejection among the room. I need to cheer them up with some good news.
"But, it turns out I'm corporeal again!"
I toss a lit stick of dynamite in the air and catch it with a wink and a nod.
"So that's good news, at least!"
I watch the sparks on the dynamite touch paper creep down as I hurtle towards the door of the Tea Room.
Clang!! It is thrust back against the door lintel.
I scream at Jenifer:
“HURL IT OUTSIDE!!”
With a flick of the wrist she tosses into the air.
Whereupon my noble broom, acting as a baseball bat, swats it outside and upwards.
An air and earth shattering BOOOMMMM!!!! as the entire Castle is shaken to its foundations
The Bells in the tower begin to peal and there is a horrific ROAR! as its resident’s dragon is woken from its slumbers and begins to look down on us with slavering lips.
I croak to all and sundry:
“Welcome back Jenifer!”
I flounce and giggle in my singed tutu.
"So what did I miss?"
Welcome back, Jenifer. You were sorely missed!
katiek (from my unseen and unknown hole in the corner)
Ears ringing or that the tower bells?
I slowly raise my hand following the stench of burnt hair yep I do not need a mirror to see my Mohawk is back differant his time because the spikes are covered in confetti and that means only one thing
KABOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM crash boom bang ,,,,, I am blown across the room and land up side down in a flower pot.
Oh great I have become a HIPPIE
I pull myself out spiting dirt and petals craponacracker
I watch as the confetti drops from the ceiling and floats down covering everything I can't help but laugh because it feels like we are inside a Snow Globe.
As my ears clear and eyes focus I can not believe my eyes ,,, standing before me is a singed crooked Tu-Tu and body adorned with bangles beads bells and tiny skulls and horns
Welcome Home Jenny Wren I see you found The Northern Island.
Hey where is Roo Roo I brought her a special gift.
I moan Oh Lord these two together spells HUGE TROUBLE
"The Northern what now?"
I scavenge for leftover Christmas wrappings and tape and fashion myself a festive halter top. The bottom half of the Christmas tree still seems relatively intact, so it is soon transformed into a lovely flared skirt, still adorned with tinsel and baubles.
The only thing missing is a hat.
Thankfully, at that moment, the star that had once graced the top of the tree dislodged itself from it's sudden new location of the ceiling, and fell into the confetti-filled, explosion-induced, teased tizz that was my hair.
I watch VERY carefully as the spectre from beyond the grave sits demurely before me rearranging her tutu with green foliage that must prickle and range of baubles from the tree.
She must have learned to economise wherever she has been for the last six months and live off the “fat of the land”
I cannot take my eyes off her décolletage, especially the shining snowflake steaming against her naked breast. But it never melts just gleams!
So I just KNOW that the person before me is my beloved fellow Musketeer returned to bemuse and befuddle us all once more!
Is she not cold?
There is still little to show that she has any protection from the elements under that concoction
Although eager for a chat I persuade her (if that is the right expression) to get some more suitable attire by visiting Kayley’s Fabric Shop.
So I surreptitiously slide Cap’n Bob’ credit card across the table with a wink and motion towards the door.
It is a well-trodden path that she skips along with a happy smile on her face and trilling some weird ditty she disappears into town. leaving a trail of pine needles and tree ornaments in her wake
Now to bring her up to date with our shenanigans, when she returns
Where to begin after our recent events? She is but a lowly Level 79 citizen with “tweaks”
I know! Use my ancient tomes recently acquired.
I can't bear to change out of my Christmas tree skirt, and decide to add it to the Spring line. I will just need to change the baubles to coloured eggs.
It is still the season, though, so with all the Santas wandering about it was quite easy to mug one and assemble a faux fur trimmed bomber jacket and have enough left over for some snuggy boots.
I keep forgetting it's winter here at Christmas time.
I crawl out of the hole in the floor that is the entrance to the House of Schpadoinkle Couture and wonder what to do next.
I figure the most logical thing to do is collect ammunition.
While Jenny Wren is plundering Kayley’s Fabric Shop and fashion house I decide to do a recce of our unworthy CEO and what he is getting up to.
He has been TOO quiet recently!
I slide through one of the very familiar apertures in the Tea Room wall and take the tunnel to his office.
I slip in and find it is empty. More importantly his desk is also empty!
That means that whatever he is plotting is already finalized and that he has got rid of all his doodles, scribbles and notes.
Just then I hear an sound in the outer office so I take a sneak peep.
There is that abominable little tax man in his black suit slavering over columns of figures.
I need to see what those figures are so I tell my broom to scratch on the outside door.
He jumps up like a startled rabbit and heads for the door, passing through and out of sight.
I rush over to his desk and peer at the column of figures headed with the letter “$”
They show the cumulative earnings of our worthy citizens who are playing the HOS of the Xmas Event
He has written “10%” at the bottom of the page and the words “FOR ME if following our dear leader’s plan”
I need more information but just then I hear him at the door so I vanish back into the Tea Room.
There are foul deeds afoot and so it is time for a conference of we “daring doers”!
We need to find out the nature of his latest diabolical plan and thwart him!
It's all quiet and still in the Fletcher's cozy bedroom when Mrs Fletcher's awaken by the Amulet laying on Her beside table........ while the commanding voice of Her "Dear Old Codger Friend"....could be heard clearly it was the one answering Randy that caught Mrs Fletcher's attention and brought tears to Her eyes......."Joe dear...Wake up, wake up..."Snort, snort!"..."What?....what's the matter honey? Listen Joe to who's talking to Captain Randy...."Oh My Word Joe!!"...That's our Dearest Friend Jenny Wren!" Just then Pup comes running into their room all excited like...."Slow down dear before you "Pop a Button!" Oh Granny did you hear who was on the Amulet with Captain Randy?...Yes we did Sweetie...but why are you all dress in your Warrior Cloths this early in the Morning Pup? "Grandpa Joe, about 20 minutes ago I received an important message by Courier from Her Majesty "The Golden Queen" to take too Captain Randy..."For His Eyes only!" it says on the envelope so Snow and I will delivery it as Speedy as we can...."Oh Joe..another Special Room Adventure is awaiting Sweet Young'un...." "Indeed it is Dear One...Now lets try and get a few more Shut EyeI before our day begins OK?"