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There is someone outside hammering on my door!
“Wake up you lazy oaf in charge this feeble attempt in keeping the Castle clean!
“Can’t you see the mess everywhere is in and all caused by our fee paying citizens trying to enjoy themselves during this festive time”
I groan and turn over once more in my comfortable hospital cot and try to return to the arms of Morpheus.
But the drug that I had been injected with to keep me in stasis seems to have worked its way out of my system.
I am now cognisant of the cacophony outside my room and penetrating all corners of the Castle.
Even worse there is a distinct odour of rotting carrot in the air accompanied by the rich pong of rabbit poo!
Hidden but fond memories of another occasion: The annual Easter Event in the castle when our worthy citizens celebrate (and we all get rich)
Just for a second I seem to see a small furry mammal scuttle through my side wall and disappear under the door into the corridor outside.
“Gotcha!” accompanied by a squeak and then a crash as a large wooden horse is hauled back into my room.
This is then tugged into the wall and disappears!
“WILL YOU PLEASE GET UP AND COME OUT TO EARN YOUR KEEP!”
I don’t much like the sound of that order as it is directed at moi
I know only too well that voice. It is the Sergeant at Arms of the Castle and technically speaking my boss. I may be the Head Sweeper Up of the Castle etc. but HE is second only to our unworthy CEO!
Holding my broom firmly in my hand just in case of trouble I poke my head out of the door.
It is utter chaos outside and where the door to my Repository of unused or redundant stock should be there is another door labelled ‘SPRING ROOM 5’.
It is shimmering with activity as inventory whizz in and out of it.
But that pales in comparison with the battleground that the corridor now is with the Spring Event stock popping in and out of existence closely followed by small furry rodents with gleams in their eyes as they hone in on unsuspecting targets.
Wham! I am assailed by another wooden horse as a gleeful citizen collects an egg as a prize.
The horse disappears into my bedroom wall and a long lost memory floods into my befuddled brain
I spend the next few minutes trying to persuade my broom to venture into the corridor to survey the mess.
It seems to be VERY reluctant to do so. But when it does, I become aware of the problem.
It is plastered against the nearby wall by a plethora of concerned citizens wanting their money back!
It seems that the promised number of coins have not fallen into their pouches and as a consequence the rewards for zapping the ghosts have become less instead of more lucrative.
My broom seems to be the only non-Spring Event item here and they all want redress!
Within seconds I feel an increased bulge in my pocket as my broom has shrunk in size, retreated into the fabric folds and refused to do its lawful duty – that is to say – sweep the mess up!
It wants double pay and a better type of detergent to get rid of the goo and poo!
Then, just when I think that things cannot get more whatever they seem to be getting a WAIL thunders down the corridor.
Somebody or something has tripped the alarm system and we need to evacuate!
But where too?
Only upwards and onwards are possible as the windows to the outside are firmly gummed shut by carrot juices.
The twixt and tween corridor barriers are in place but with the help of a handy stick I manage to pry the lock.
I slip inside.
Clean floors and walls!
But not for long if I do not close the barrier once more so I ease my stick out of the lock and the doors clang shut again.
If anything, the emergency wailing is now louder here than below and red rotating alarm lights twirl from the ceiling.
I rummage in my copy of Midnight Castle Rules and Regulations for further instructions.
I am horrified!
According to the Book we are under attack!!
The corridor suddenly fills with large bulky and armed Praetorian Guards who rush past me and down into the bowels of the Castle.
Our Treasury is being robbed!
Someone is taking advantage of the Spring Event chaos, by introducing alien items into it in the form of strange green vegetables covered in vinegar
They are obviously trying to undermine the currency value of the carrots used by the furry things, and the revenue got by the sweet young things at the moat.
The culprit must be found immediately before we have a citizens revolt!
Cap has been away for quite a while now, which in turn, leaves me more time for my job! So, I decide to go on my own recon mission, looking for my next big story for The Cloud City Times.
I've been all round the East, then scoured through the Town, and head back to the Castle Vicinity when I stop short. There in the distance, at the Castle Gates, I spy Jenny Wren, complete with fishing rod, but something strange as a lure. I get out my binoculars and realize it's a pickle! WHAT?!
So, where did she come from? I thought PTG was on a mission to find and rescue her!? I run toward her, calling her name, Jenny Wren, Jenny Wren, and just as I got within hearing range, she disappeared into thin air! Poof!! Maybe she found one of those "aperture things" PTG is always going on about.
Oh no! I have to find PTG and let him know what I saw and find out what he's going to do about it!!!!!
WELL THAT STORM IS OVER, NOW IT IS TIME TO CLEAN UP.
OK, TROOPS, START GATHERING ALL THE CRITTERS THAT FELL AND DID NOT MAKE IT. DINKY, SMIDGE YOU KNOW THE DRILL. GET SHOVELS AND DIG A DEEP HOLE. GATHER THE NONE SURVIVORS AND GET THEM TO IT AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. THE WEATHER IS GETTING WARMER WE HAVE TO GET THEM COVERED BEFORE THE SMELL GETS INTO THE AIR.
THE CATS AND DOGS WERE TIRED FROM CATCHING AND CHASING THE SURVIVORS AND GETTING THEM PENNED. THE CATS HAD QUICKLY TAKEN CARE OF THE MICE AND FISH THAT HAD LANDED ALIVE. THEY HAVE PUT ON A FEW POUND, SOME WERE LOOKING A LITTLE CHUNKY. MOST OF THE FISH HAD BEEN DROPPED INTO THE MOAT. THEY SHOULD LAST ELLIE AND HER BROOD QUITE A LONG TIME. OR AT LEAST UNTIL THE NEXT FREAK STORM. THE DOGS HAD DONE THE SAME WITH SOME OF THE RABBITS. OTHERS OPAL HAD SKINNED AND PUT IN COLD STORAGE. WE WILL BE EATING VERY WELL.
THE SHEEP AND CHICKENS HAD BEEN PENNED, RANDY'S BOYS AND MY GNOMES HAD WORKED AROUND THE CLOCK.
BUT NOW IT WAS TIME TO CLEAN UP THE MESS LEFT BEHIND. THANKS BE THAT THE HORSES WERE MADE OF WOOD. SO THOSE THAT CRASHED AND BROKEN WOULD BE ADDED TO THE WOOD PILE. THE BUTTERFLIES AND THE BIRDS BEING ABLE TO FLY WERE STILL ABOUT. SUCH A PRETTY SIGHT. BUT SOON THEY WOULD LEAVE TO FIND THERE WAY TO WHERE THEY BELONGED.
THE UNBROKEN DOLLES WERE GIVEN TO THE CHILDREN, SUCH A WINDFALL FOR THEM. THEY DID NOT HAVE MANY TOYS. THERE PARENTS COULD NOT AFFORD THEM. ( THAT BLOOD SUCKER IN THE CASTLE MADE SURE OF THAT.)
SOME OF THE BIRD HOUSES COULD BE HUNG ON THE TREES IN THE FOREST. OTHERS JUST MIGHT MAKE HOMES OR STOREROOMS FOR FINNS PEOPLE. MOST OF THEM HAD COME TO STAY IN THE BARN TILL THE DANGER WAS OVER.
FINN HAD NOT WANTED TO ASK BUT HIS WIFE HAD, OF COURSE THEY COULD USE THE BARN. PLENTY OF ROOM.
THE BALLOONS HAD NOT POSED A PROBLEM EXCEPT NOW THEY HAD TO BE GATHERED UP FROM WHERE THEY HAD LANDED AND POPPED, STUCK IN TREES AND BUSHES.
THE CANDYS WERE NOW TURNING INTO A STICKY MESS. THEY TOO NEEDED TO BE GATHERED UP AND DISPOSED OF.
HOPE CAP COMES HOME SOON. WE ARE DOING THE BEST WE CAN WITHOUT HIM. I AM SURE HE WOULD BE BETTER ORGANIZED THAN I AM. I AM JUST THE KEEPER OF THE ANIMALS IN THE ZOO.
THE SHEEP WILL SOON BE DOWN TO WHAT WE CAN MANAGE. NOT A FAN OF MUTTON BUT OPAL COULD MAKE BOOT SOLE TASTE GOOD.
THE CHICKS WILL GROW FAST AND THE FARMERS MAY WANT THEM OR WE MIGHT BE ABLE TO TRADE EGGS AND MEAT FOR THINGS WE NEED. WHO KNOWS, THOSE IN THE CASTLE SEEM TO STAY IN HIDING WHILE THE STORM BLOWS.
OH, WELL NOW TO JOIN IN THE CLEAN UP, COME ON BEAU INTO THE HARNESS YOU WILL BE PULLING THE CART WHILE THE GUYS LOAD IT WITH THE MESS TO BE BURIED.
BEAU, SEEMED EAGER POOR BOY. BABY YOU WILL HAVE TO HELP LATER, HE WILL TAKE THIS SHIFT BUT TOMMOROW I AM AFRAID IT WILL BE YOU. BUT I PROMISE A GOOD BATH AND BRUSHING.
BEAU HEARD THIS AND WAS EAGER TO DO HIS PART. BABY UNDERSTOOD IT WAS WORK. BUT BEAU IS STILL YOUNG ENOUGH NOT TO. OR HAD FORGOTTEN THE CLEAN UP WHEN THE SNOW HAD STARTED TO MELT.
SO OFF WE WENT TO HELP THE GUY WITH THE MESS.
I WONDERED HOW LONG TILL THE NEXT STORM?????
II am tired and a tad hungry as Frost and I bid fare well to our Golden Queen
I turn to Frost well my brave one that was a good and insightful meeting
It was great to see our Queen but I am worried about her so I am going to leave Jewel and Brule with her as we continue to seek and destroy all the evil around us and get our home back but mostly to find and rescue The Wise One and return him to his right full place at his mate's side The Golden Queen.
I look at my hand holding the sealed later from her Majesty .
Frost before we retirn to The Special Room and see how much damage has been done in my absents lol go hunt and I will grab a bite and read this letter.
I grab a quick bite and go to my yree and sit to read and read,,,, it is funny how our two dementions are much the same but very different.
I eat and read as I wait for Frosts return.
I finish the letter and look at the map that is enclosed well part of a map.
It is more like a puzzle and my quest is to gather all the pieces that at the end is where I will finally find and defeat The Lord Of Darkness.
I look at the time on my pocket watch abs it is getting late and time to return to The Tea Room,, I get a feeling in gut as I think that and that is always a bad sign.
What am I walking into?
Can not danger or someone would have warned me on the Amulet,
I reach for the chain and pull up my Amulet !@#$%^&&^%^&*())(*&^ I had to turn it off when I was in the Queens lair but stll Jewel and Brule where just out side and would have called me.
I turned on my Amulet to all ans was about to call Frost whn I felt him as he landed,
I bring food for Snow,,,,,,,,,,, she will love hat now my brave let us head back as I mount and settle behind his huge wings and like a feather we are air born,
Frost lets check the dome to see is every thing is solid *** RIDER***
We checked whole dome and everything was perfect and I could see that Snow had done her duty and did a few repairs .. Frost turned his huge head to look at me and no need to speak for I could see the pride in his eyes for Snow.
We landed in the open field ,, it was good to be home and to see Snow waiting for us.
I got down and watched brother abd sister greet each Dragon purrs and head rubing,
I turned when I hear loud screaming and banging Opel??? I took off running ant closer I got the scream got louder rut roo Opel is really possed she is screaming Creole oh this bad.
I look all around the square and the grounds out to th fields .... nothing no enemies ???
I stop and yell OPEL?? MISS KATT????
I take a step and hear squzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeee and look down at my chit covered boot.
WHT THE HELL THEN SPLATTTTTTTTT I FEEL SOMETHING HOT AND GROSS RUN DOWN MY FACE.
Opel comes flying out of the Tea Room waving her huge rolling pin and Miss Katt right behind her with the huge cast iron frying pan.
When they see it is me the both stop and start to howl in laughter
I growl what is so damn funny and what the hell is going on and hi happy to see you to no GIVE ME A TOWEL
AS I WIPE MY FACE YUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK THEN LOOK DOWN AT MY BOOTS DISGUSTING I WALK OVER TO WHAT I THINK IS A PUDDLE AS I GET CLOSER AND TAKE A STEP *** TO LATE***
I GET A WHIFF #$%^&*()_+_)(*&^%$#@@#$%^&*( PLUNK MY BOOT LANDS IN A PUDDLE YEP YOU GUESSED IT **** URINE *** CRAP ON A CRACKER OR SHOULD I SAY PEE ON A BOOT.
I TEAR OFF MY BOOT AND SOCK AND TRY NOT TO BARF.
I SNARL AT OPEL .......
As I calm down a tad I toss the towel at Opel to wipe the tears from laughing so hard ,,,,,,
Oh lordly lordly I have not had such a belly laugh since Jen blew you out of the air ship and you where covered in black grim and oh that now famous Mohawk hair standing on end and little sparks flying.
I did have to chuckle it was sight,
We are startled by more loud bangs ,, a monkey,, Raven and is that an Owl? sounding like they are being killed.
Opel turns and points her huge rolling pin at Rhe Tea Room just as a pot comes flying out the door and lands at Miss Katt's feet.
Yes to all the above Cap and it all started after you left to the main camp.
Seems that crazy monkey got tired of swinging from the chandelier and started to toss things at the drunken skeleton then at the dice table then ne spotted PTG'S pet Raven garbed a candle from the chandelier and aimed at the Raven but as he let it fly one of his rings went with it and fell to the floor and of course the Raven and his lust for shiny things swooped down grabbed it and out the window towards The Te Room to show PTG leaving Salty cursing them out and putting out the small fire caused by the candle.
Now when the Raven landed in the rafters he bumped into PTG'S pet Owl waking him fro his nap then all hell broke loose.
Monkey ekkkk ekkking like a crazy maniac... Raven cawing so loud it hurts your ears and I tell you Cap never in all my born days have I heard an Owl s recce like that.
Then add Mss Katt with her fry pan and moi with my trusty rolling pin running for our lives from a crazy monkey and swooping Raven and Owl.
NOW GET IN THERE AND STOP THEM.
i Look at Opel excuse me? since when did I become come taker to NUT CASE monkey Crow and Owl,???
Salty is the one who is supposed to watch that flea bag and where in HELL is PTG???? That Crow and Owl are his pets?
Wait does every one think Charlie is reasonable ?
She in charge of **THE CRITTERS IN HER CARE** NOT OUR PERSONAL PETS...
Opel started to say what about your---- and I stopped her holding my hand up and saying DO NOT GO THERE..... she still tends Doggie because he loves her for saving his life and he is happy there and free to come and go but prefers to stay there with Charlie and his friends he has made,,,, and as far as my gang,,,, Blossom... Cherry,,,, Stump..... Fang....Smoke.... Sheba and there off spring... My Ellie and her brood are my friends NOT MY PETS.
Lets get off this because more then anyone you how I feel about all critters and that all are welcome here to stay if they wish or leave.
I know Cap I am just so mad that our beautiful Tea Room is in shambles.
Opel I am here now and I will get things fixed right as rain here as I hand her my card you and Miss Katt go to Cloud City and treat your selves and when you return all will be right and treat your selves to a meal you do not have to cook so be off and I will take care of every thing here.
With giggles of glee they fly off on Snow not even thinking they will be on a Dragon lol.
I turn back to The Tea Room door as a pan comes zooming past my head,,,, @#$%^&*()(*& okay this is war as I tear off a shirt sleeve and wrap it around my bare foot *** those cobble stones are hard,,,,, grab the pot that was at Miss Katt's feet slap it on my head ( ouch ) take a huge breath and enter into hell.
I can not believe I am doing this willing but seeing Salty is not here and maybe I will find PTG AKA my doorknob tied by the crazy flea bag and hanging from the rafters or he hiding uner hie hospital bed in his huggie jacket.
Another squeal as butcher knife wizes by my head @#$%^&*()_+_)(*&^% OKAY THAT IS ENOUGH AS I HEAD TO AND SLAM OPEN THE DOOR but not before I catch a glimpse of the doors at the critter compound and there stands Charlie with her arms folded and leaning against the frame with a grin from ear to ear.... I see she is not alone **** GROAN **** on the other side leaning against the frame arms crossed a smile a milewide is yep Doc Felix
I feel my face turn red sheesh I could be used as a stop sign,
What she must think of me oh well no time to think about that I have a job to do.
Yummpin Yimeney and mouth drops almost to yhe floor...
It looks like a bomb went off here and bits of fur and feathers all over the place.
THIS IS CAP NOW KNOCK IT OFF ***** WHAMMMMMMMMMMMMM *** I am knocked on my arse by a dive bombing Raven craponacracker leave it to me to grab a very shiny pot /// idgit
Crow = shiny item= Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I get up and see the stupid bird knocked himself out ... better him than me.
Rut rouh as I duck the Owl he lands in the rafters I yell STAY THERE DO NOT MOVE ,,,
I turn to face the eeekkk eeeekkking teeth bared monkey holding an apple,
DON'T YOU DARE DROP IT NOW...
i look for cover seeing head is pot less and he is very close.
Luck is on my side I spot his ring at my feet ,,,, hey buddy look what I found now you be a good boy and let me get it for you and all will be good okay??
I see him relax a tad and keeping my eyes glued to him I grab the ring.
Here you go boy come to Cap .. he jumps on my shoulder drops the apple and takes his ring .
Okay boy lets get you back to Salty he hugs my face as we walk out the door.