Confused malcontents swilling Chardonnay while awaiting the Zombie Apocalypse.
US Attorney-General Jeff Sessions says he now recalls a meeting with then-candidate Donald Trump and aides where campaign connections to Russia were discussed, despite earlier testifying that he was unaware of any such contacts.
The comment by Mr Sessions to a House of Representatives panel did not reveal any new link between the Trump team and Russia, but it was another example of the top US law enforcement official offering a different version of events as MPs try to work out if the Trump campaign colluded with Russia in the 2016 election.
Mr Sessions, addressing the House Judiciary Committee, said he recalled the March 2016 meeting where foreign policy advisor George Papadopoulos was present.
"But I have no clear recollection of the details of what he said during that meeting," Mr Sessions said.
Awww... never mind.
Too bad the Democrats who have been colluding with the Russians and Iran for decades can't be called to task
They're being investigated too.
Either way, it's a clusterfuck.
The FBI failed to notify scores of US officials that Russian hackers were trying to break into their personal Gmail accounts despite having evidence for at least a year that the targets were in the Kremlin's crosshairs.
Nearly 80 interviews with Americans targeted by Fancy Bear, a Russian government-aligned cyberespionage group, turned up only two cases in which the FBI had provided a heads-up.
Even senior policymakers discovered they were targets only when the AP told them, a situation some described as bizarre and dispiriting.
The FBI declined to discuss its investigation into Fancy Bear's spying campaign, but did provide a statement that said in part: "The FBI routinely notifies individuals and organisations of potential threat information."
Three people familiar with the matter — including a current and a former government official — said the FBI knew for more than a year the details of Fancy Bear's attempts to break into Gmail inboxes.
A senior FBI official, who was not authorised to publicly discuss the hacking operation because of its sensitivity, declined to comment on when it received the target list, but said the bureau was overwhelmed by the sheer number of attempted hacks.
The AP did its own triage, dedicating two months and a small team of reporters to go through a hit list of Fancy Bear targets provided by cybersecurity firm Secureworks.
Using the same list, the AP earlier this month reported on how Fancy Bear worked in close alignment with Kremlin interests to steal tens of thousands of emails from the Democratic Party.
"No-one's ever said to me, 'Hey Joe, you've been targeted by this Russian group'," said former Navy intelligence officer Joe Mazzafro, whose inbox the hackers tried to compromise in 2015.
"That our own security services have not gone out and alerted me, that's what I find the most disconcerting as a national security professional."
The 80 people on the hit list interviewed included current or former military personnel, Democratic Party operatives, diplomats or ex-intelligence workers such as Mr Mazzafro.
How terrible!! They weren't supposed to be using Gmail to being with
Former United States national security adviser Michael Flynn has pleaded guilty to lying to the FBI in the federal investigation into Russia's alleged interference in the 2016 presidential election.
Mr Flynn, a former senior member of Trump's campaign team, admitted in a courtroom in downtown Washington that he gave false statements to the Federal Bureau of Investigation in January about his contacts the previous month with Russia's then ambassador, Sergei Kislyak.
Mr Flynn also agreed to cooperate with the ongoing investigation into alleged Russian meddling in the election, led by special counsel Robert Mueller.
The plea deal marks a major escalation in a probe that has dogged Donald Trump's administration since the Republican President took office in January.
Several news agencies including The Washington Post are reporting that in new court documents, Mr Flynn admitted he called a senior official from Mr Trump's team over communications with the Russian ambassador.
Reports state that senior official directed Mr Flynn to contact foreign governments, including Russia, about a United Nations resolution on Israel.
The official is not named in the documents, but people familiar with the matter said it refers to Jared Kushner, President Trump's son-in-law, according to The Washington Post.
Furthermore, ABC News (America) cited a confidant as saying Mr Flynn was also ready to testify that Mr Trump directed him to make contact with the Russians, initially as a way to work together to fight the Islamic State group in Syria.
It was not clear when Mr Trump supposedly told Mr Flynn to contact Russians and whether there would be anything illegal in requesting such contact.
The White House said Mr Flynn's guilty plea implicated him alone.
"Nothing about the guilty plea or the charge implicates anyone other than Mr Flynn," Ty Cobb, a White House attorney, said in a statement.
Mr Flynn was forced out of his White House post in February for misleading Vice President Mike Pence about his conversations with the ambassador.
Yep we knew Flynn was shady but it says nothing about Trump. I kknow you leftie wankers want Trump to die but there are still rational people in this country
I don't want Trump to die.
I just want him voted out in 2020.
Edited to add - I just read about Trump's diet. He eats nothing but junk food!
His standard meal is 2 Big Macs, 2 filet o fish and a chocolate malted milkshake.
Otherwise it's KFC, pizza and coke.
Forget impeachment, he'll die of a heart attack before 2020!
United States President Donald Trump has launched a fresh attack on the credibility of the FBI and again denied asking its former director, James Comey, to stop investigating his now disgraced ex-national security adviser.
In a series of tweets, Mr Trump questioned the direction of the FBI and claimed its reputation was "in Tatters — worst in History!".
Former US attorney-general Eric Holder immediately hit back at Mr Trump.
"The FBI's reputation is not in 'tatters'. It's composed of the same dedicated men and women who have always worked there and who do a great, apolitical job," he wrote on Twitter.
"You'll find integrity and honesty at FBI headquarters and not at 1600 Penn Ave right now."
Mr Trump also tweeted that he never asked Mr Comey to stop investigating Michael Flynn, the President's former national security adviser — a statement at odds with an account Mr Comey himself has given.
Mr Comey, who had been investigating allegations of Russian interference in the 2016 US election, was fired by Mr Trump in May.
He told the US Senate Intelligence Committee in June he believed his dismissal was related to the Russia probe, and said Mr Trump asked him to end the investigation of Flynn.
"I never asked Comey to stop investigating Flynn. Just more Fake News covering another Comey lie!" Mr Trump said on Twitter.
First of all - the WORST reputation belongs to J. Edgar Hoover.
Secondly - it is just the same old thing! Trump seems to be going out of his way to piss off the FBI because they won't do things his way.
He simply cannot tolerate a lack of supreme power in every aspect of his life. To not be able to immediately fire anyone who does not immediately kiss his ass is so obviously infuriating for him.